Lee Suckling: Do you have to have sex on Valentine's Day?

Is sex on Valentine's Day really necessary? Lee Suckling finds out. Photo / Getty Images

• Warning: This article contains sexual content

It's supposed to be the day of love. Every year on February 14, Valentine's Day is celebrated across the world.

It has various Christian histories dating back to the 5th Century, but the common reason for it being on this particular day dates back to the Middle Ages in England and France, where February 14 marked the beginning of the birdlife mating season.

Hundreds of years later it's a day that involves expensive dinners and fancy flowers for many couples. But are we doing as the European birds do, and mating on Valentine's Day too?

If you're a millennial, the answer is probably yes. Condom manufacturer SKYN surveyed over 3000 people aged 18-34, and 68 per cent of them said February 14 was the occasion they are most likely to have the most sex.

This day even surpasses a person's wedding day: only 37 per cent of millennials say their wedding days are when they'll have the most sex.

Sex even comes out on top when it comes to what women want the most as their Valentine's Day gesture or gift. More so than chocolates or a handwritten note declaring one's love, 34 per cent of women want sex more than anything else on February 14, according to a survey by fertility charting app Kindara.

Who's not having sex on Valentine's Day? According to an Elite Daily survey, 14 per cent of women and just six per cent of men "don't care about having sex with their partner" for Valentine's.

If you're apathetic about sex on V-day, you're in the very clear minority. That's not the worst thing in the world, however: 85 per cent of women and 84 per cent of men believe that a non-sexual Valentine's Day doesn't mean your sex life has "gone down the drain".

Let's be honest, especially when you're in a long-term relationship, sex sometimes is an effort. Not having it on one particular day mightn't be a big deal for your relationship overall, but that doesn't mean putting in the work won't be overwhelmingly appreciated.

As detailed by survey respondents, most people would care to have sex on Valentine's Day if they can.

Neither men or women want anything particularly special in bed for V-day though: sex "like we normally do" is enough for men, while "tender, loving, emotional sex" is what women desire from their partner.

While there may be an expectation to have sex for Valentine's, the best expectations are probably having none at all. Whatever kind of sex fits the mood will work: if you're short on time, there's nothing wrong with a quickie. In the zone for long, slow sex? How about something new or kinky? Whatever you want to do is fine. You needn't cover the bed in rose petals or break out some crazy new toy.

What should happen if you don't want to have sex on Valentine's Day? If you have a healthy sex life already, I don't think it's a big deal. It's just another day, after all. If you're comfortable with the regularity of your sex life, it's nothing to sweat – as noted, around 85 per cent of people don't believe sex on V-Day is reflective of the general state of your sexual appetite for each other.

If you never have sex with your partner, is February 14 when you should get your A into G and rekindle things? I don't think it's the worst idea. If your sex life is lacking, sometimes all you need is to actually have it, to realise how much you enjoy it (and want to do it more frequently).