Kiwi parents’ biggest concerns revealed in new survey

Half of Kiwi parents who completed a recent survey were concerned their parenting style was to blame for their child's challenging behaviour. Photo / Getty Images

After a global pandemic, extreme weather events and the cost of living crisis, it’s not surprising to learn Kiwi parents are feeling extra-stressed and in need of support.

According to new research, more than half of New Zealand mums and dads who participated in a recent survey say their children’s behaviour causes them stress and anxiety, with some saying they’re losing sleep over it and a quarter admitting to feeling angry about it. And half admitted they worried their parenting style was the reason for their child’s challenging conduct.

The survey of just under 500 parents by the New Zealand arm of the Triple P: Positive Parenting Programme, which helps parents and whānau implement effective strategies to raise children well, reveals the top challenges faced by Kiwi parents.

For parents of children aged four and under, the major concern is managing tantrums and establishing discipline.

For parents of school-aged children, the big issues are screen time, emotional wellbeing and building resilience.

Triple P New Zealand country manager Jackie Riach acknowledges New Zealanders have had it tough and “need more support”.

“The pandemic and lockdowns, followed by the frightening weather events and now the increasing cost of living pressures, have piled on to the normal challenges that come with being a parent. Many have been left with fragile mental health and wellbeing and need more support.”

The research notes while antenatal classes are a publicly funded offering for parents-to-be in New Zealand, 87 per cent of those surveyed believe a parenting support programme that feeds on from these classes should be made available. The majority also believed this should be Government-funded.

While three-quarters of surveyed parents said they would engage in such a programme, cost would be the biggest limiting factor.

Riach says the findings “... [confirm] Kiwi parents are struggling and not able to access the support they need, free of charge and on their terms”.

“We’ve seen time and time again that giving parents funded access to the tools and strategies they require to build good relationships with their children can transform lives. Feeling confident you’re doing the right thing as a parent is so important, especially when you start to feel overwhelmed by your child’s behaviour and unsure about how to manage it.”

Asked how this would ideally look for Kiwi parents, half said an online programme they could complete in their own time would work best, noting a lack of time was also a barrier to seeking support.

“Navigating children’s common behavioural challenges, like tantrums [and] mealtime or bedtime resistance can be emotionally testing for any parent. We must support our parents and provide them with simple yet effective strategies for raising happy, confident kids – which will result in happy, stress-free parents and whānau,” says Riach.

She explains Triple P works with governments worldwide to deliver free parenting programmes.

“... We continue to see first-hand how enhancing parents’ knowledge, skills and confidence benefits children, families and society. Through our evidence base, we know what it takes for families to overcome life’s challenges, and this becomes even more important in uncertain times.”

The survey also noted what parents see as the most important life outcomes for their kids, with 60 per cent putting positive emotional and mental wellbeing at the top of their list, 50 per cent saying seeing their child reach their full potential was the top priority and 46 per cent desiring that their children make good life choices.