Nothing highlights how lonely you truly are, like being surrounded by couples or family members with their own kids. It sucks.
I've been blessed with gorgeous friends who are single and carefree like me, so it's never really bothered me that I've got to the age of 36 years old and not really settled down, but waking up on Christmas Day by yourself tends to put a dampener on things.
As you hear the neighbour's children shrieking with delight as they awake to a tree full of presents, you look around at your empty apartment and feel a little grim.
I find that, along with the "Oh cr*p, I forgot to get a boyfriend" freak out, I tend to act a little out of character. I go on dates with blokes I have very little in common with, as I fill my diary with potential holiday boyfriends.
"Oh, you don't have a job right now, and at the age of 40 you still don't know what you want to do? No dramas! Got any plans for December 25?"
Or I'll text a bloke I dated earlier in the year, thinking to myself, "Maybe I didn't really give him a good enough go?" Jana, you did. He wasn't for you.
What's worse is when you reach out to an ex for another crack at it and he politely explains he's actually found someone new and is meeting her parents this Christmas. Oh stab me in the heart and be done with it. (Yes, this time of year also tends to make me a little dramatic.)
The idea of rocking up to another family event by myself sends a shudder up my spine. The never ending questions about why I haven't found a bloke yet, or the lectures on being too picky can make even the strongest willed person head straight to the liquor cabinet.
So what is one to do when faced with another lonely Christmas? Well as I mopped up my tears and put the dog on the lead for a walk around somewhere pretty, I pondered. What's the solution? Do other people feel like this? Why should the most magical day of the year be so lame for us singletons?
I decided to reach out to friends who would be in a similar situation and asked if they would like to join me for a singleton's Christmas dinner.
We can all do the right thing and attend the family Christmas lunch, put up with screaming children and happy couples, knowing smugly that on the other side of it will be a rambunctious, hedonistic, indulgent affair that will see us into the early hours of the morning.
No more tragic dates pre-Christmas in a desperate bid to find 'the one' before the year is up. Lord, just making it through this year in one piece is an accomplishment enough. Who needs extra pressure?
I've also made a promise to steer clear of social media for the day, remind myself that it would suck to be in an unhappy relationship and focus on the things I do have. Why not be a little nicer to myself this year?
That includes an indulgent PJ set to wake up in that morning, a small pampering session before heading to my brother's house for lunch and putting myself in charge of the cocktails. I wonder if Aunty Jenny has ever tried a Long Island Iced Tea?!
So future boyfriend, if you're out there, let me find you naturally, not in a last-minute bid to feel less lonely for one day of the year. Ooh, although, a New Year's Eve kiss would be quite nice.
