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Home / Lifestyle

<i>Wendyl Nissen:</i> The young shall inherit the washing up rota

By Wendyl Nissen
Herald on Sunday·
6 Sep, 2008 04:00 PM4 mins to read

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Opinion by Wendyl NissenLearn more

KEY POINTS:

I should have known something was up when I walked into the kitchen and found the school newsletter hugging the fridge with the help of a magnet.

Nothing new in that - it often lives on the fridge for days before someone bothers to throw it in the
recycling, largely unread.

However this newsletter caught my eye as it threw out a strong glow of green highlighter calling to me as I fished inside the fridge for milk.

Closer inspection revealed my 10-year-old daughter had thoughtfully highlighted the relevant parts of the newsletter she thought I should read. Items about the upcoming school production gleamed in green, as did something about the school vege garden competition. Interestingly, the principal's plea for parents to pay their school fee donations wasn't highlighted. She had almost certainly checked the records and found we were up to date.

It is not the first time she has taken it upon herself to organise me.

I once found a Post-it note attached to my handbag which read: "Don't forget to pick up Pearl from school at 3pm", and she was the creator of the now infamous shopping list on the fridge invention.

For some mothers, this could be taken as an indication their parenting skills were perhaps lacking in the reliability department.

And I did query my abilities for the 10 minutes it took to put the coffee on, and then I realised that in the 22 years I've been a mother I have never missed a school production - as tempted as I was - nor have I forgotten to pick anyone up from school despite a good effort made by my tendency for long lunches. And we have never run out of food.

After some discussion with her father, we concluded this penchant for organisation on the part of my youngest daughter is a reaction to the elder daughter moving out. I miss her a lot.

She's the closest thing I've had to a sister in the way she keeps a watchful eye, lights up my day with her smile and keeps me calm as she has done miraculously since birth.

From the moment she could smile, she seemed to accept a happy disposition as her default setting. And if I'm honest there may have been some organisational skills applied in my direction from time to time.

In moments of reflection, I have realised my kids would take over the organisation of my life at some stage.

It stands to reason that, as I age and drink more, I will become a little disorganised and forgetful. But I like to think that will happen in my 80s, not my 40s.

So it was with some surprise that my son and his fiancée presented me with a schedule detailing their commitments for the three weeks we will be overseas in the near future. They and Pearl's other three adult siblings will be doing a Party of Five and looking after her, along with her grandparents and friends.

It was a lovely looking thing, using different colours and interesting writing, as they are both artists, and was designed to prompt me into organising a schedule for my youngest daughter while we are away.

I had imagined they would all just work it out between them. I wondered if Pearl was behind it.

And then last Sunday all the kids came for dinner, as they do every week, and announced that from now on they will have a roster for doing the dishes, rather than all crowd into the kitchen and wash one pot and dry one fork each.

The next day I went into the kitchen and there it was.

All nine names of the various children and partners with two ticked for every Sunday.

The fridge is now considering a complaint to the fridges' union about the sheer weight of memos and rosters it is holding on my behalf.

"Do you know who put up the dishes roster?" I asked my eldest daughter. "I did," she said as if nothing had changed.

"Ever since you left I'm feeling like everyone thinks I'm losing it."

"Well, are you?" she inquired, checking up on me.

"I don't know, am I?" I asked.

"It's good you're going on holiday soon," she responded with her calming smile.

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