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Home / Lifestyle

'I feel I don't have long to go': dying mum seeks care for kids

Cherie Howie
By Cherie Howie
Reporter·Herald on Sunday·
1 Aug, 2015 05:00 PM3 mins to read

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Jennifer Doolabh with Te Wairaki and Bailey.

Jennifer Doolabh with Te Wairaki and Bailey.

Duchess of Cambridge met sick woman’s daughter on visit to NZ.

There have been moments of joy and wonder since Jennifer Doolabh was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer aged 25.

There was the birth of a treasured baby boy she was told she wouldn't live long enough to bring into the world, and her wedding to sweetheart Aneal. There was the day the Hamilton family met the Duchess of Cambridge, and the precious extra time that allowed Doolabh to hear her little boy, whom she was told to abort because she had six weeks to live, call her mum.

"I thought I'd never hear that, I'm so grateful," the mum of three told the Herald on Sunday.

They are cherished memories for the family to focus on as Doolabh ends treatment and accepts she has little time left.

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Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge chats with Bailey Taylor at the Waikato Hospice, during last year's royal tour. Pool photo
Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge chats with Bailey Taylor at the Waikato Hospice, during last year's royal tour. Pool photo

The 28-year-old this week started a

GiveaLittle page

to help pay for her funeral and for her mother-in-law to travel to New Zealand from the United Kingdom.

More than $11,000 had been donated by yesterday.

Doolabh told the Herald on Sunday that she wanted her husband Aneal and children Te Wairaki, 12, Bailey, 7, and Matthias, 19 months, to have the love and support her mother-in-law could provide before and after her death.

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"We're just all going to spend as much time as we can together. Hopefully [she'll arrive] in the next few weeks because I feel I don't have long to go. I can feel my lungs getting worse and the brain tumours getting worse so I know that things aren't going too well now. I still sleep a lot but I try to get up as much as I can to spend time with the kids."

Bailey captured the heart of the Duchess when the royal chatted with her about hand puppets and tea parties during a visit to the Rainbow Place Children's Hospice last year. The moment was captured by a photographer and beamed around the world.

It was a lovely memory for Bailey, Doolabh said.

"She thought she was famous. She still talks about it."

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Doolabh, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2013, said she made the decision to stop treatment two weeks ago.

"I had previously stopped then went back because I felt that I needed to keep on fighting. The two weeks that I was on it I wasn't well so I decided not to do that. I'm happy with that. A lot of people want me to keep on fighting but they don't live the struggles that I go through every day."

The hardest part was telling her older children she might not have long to live.

"They broke down and cried but I think it's better they know than just to wake up one day and Mum's dead."

She had planned her funeral at Waipapa Marae and her burial at Rakanui Marae, both in the seaside village of Kawhia, Doolabh said.

"My Nan is buried there so I'm going to be buried beside her. It does bring some comfort [planning] because every day is just so much of a struggle for me.

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"Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I'm praying to God 'please end my suffering' and I've got Aneal and the kids praying that I'm going to be here as long as possible."

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