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Home / Lifestyle

Husband who let his wife have sex with strangers has his say

Daily Mail
26 Mar, 2015 08:25 PM6 mins to read

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Robin Rinaldi is the author of The Wild Oats Project. Photo / Twitter

Robin Rinaldi is the author of The Wild Oats Project. Photo / Twitter

When Robin Rinaldi revealed the intimate details of her 5:2 marriage she drew gasps from married couples and staunch monogamists.

For the author of The Wild Oats Project described how, for a year, she would spend weekdays sleeping with strangers and weekends with her husband of 17 years, Scott Mansfield.

Read more:
• A year off marriage to sleep with strangers - what could go wrong?

At the time, the dramatic move was a bid to save their relationship after Scott had a vasectomy, but now he's spoken out to say that he never wanted to see other people.
While Robin has widely discussed their free-wheeling year, and explores it in a new book, The Wild Oats Project, Scott has kept quiet on the matter - until now, revealing that if he'd had his way the couple would never have entered into the "5:2" marriage in the first place.

"It wasn't something I wanted to do," the brewer and wine-maker told The Times.

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"I didn't like the idea of opening up our marriage. But if I didn't do it, I felt we were heading for divorce, so I thought why not take the chance and maybe we can come out the other side?"

His premonition was correct a ultimately the decision led to the end of their marriage and Robin getting together with one of her lovers.

Scott says that while he understood his wife's desire to experience sexual relationships with other people - he himself had enjoyed a promiscuous youth - he had always felt it might spell trouble for their marriage.

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And it seems the question of whether or not to have children had always been an issue for the couple with Scott being firmly against the idea.

However, he defends himself in the new interview, revealing that he had always been honest with Robin about his desires and intentions.

"Is it cruel to not change your mind about something you believe in?" he said of fatherhood, "I don't think Robin ever thought I was being cruel. At any point she could have left me and found somebody else to have a child with or I could have left her and found somebody who wasn't going to bother me about it."

During the course of the year-long experiment he revealed that he dated a handful of women, however, he only slept with one of them.

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They had a six month relationship before he eventually called it off. And Scott says it was flattering to get attention from other women.

"I enjoyed the feeling of being attracted to other women and getting good feedback. I had a couple of women who said to me: 'I can't believe your wife would risk losing you, you're such an awesome guy,' so when you hear that, you know, it makes you feel pretty good."

Today he's in a long term relationship with his girlfriend Renee Alexander, who he lives with and the former couple consider themselves at peace.

In Robin's book she declares, "I refuse to go to my grave with no children and only four lovers."

But during her year of promiscuity in 2008, she made up for lost time, sleeping with ten men and two women.

Appearing on morning television, Robin opened up about her unorthodox decision, which she says was triggered by her husband's vasectomy.

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"I would say before the year I was in a somewhat inhibited but satisfied, normal loving relationship.

"But when I got into my early 40s my husband got a vasectomy and I knew the discussion of having a baby was over, which kick-started this experience."

"I looked forward to my death bed and thought. 'What will I have?' I won't have children and grandchildren. Will I at least have lived fully?

"If I couldn't have one I wanted the other," she explained.

"Like a lot of women at that age I was hitting my confidence and sexual peak and suddenly realised very dramatically that I wasn't going to have children. It was the perfect storm.

"I have had lots of people telling me I should have travelled the world, tried painting classes or cooking - but I already know how to cook!"

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She also said having "very little sexual variety" in her youth was a motivating factor, as the fact that she was living in San Francisco, which she described as "a very liberal city".

"I was also at a marital crisis and was thinking about trying a partial separation," she said.

"So I thought okay while we do that I need to sow some wild oats and let him do the same."

Under the terms of her new deal, Rinaldi took out an apartment, where she lived from Monday to Friday and would bed her conquests.

But over the weekend she would go back to Mansfield, and the two would live as a married couple, without asking what the other had been doing while they were apart.

"The ground rules were safe sex, not to get seriously involved with anyone and to refrain from mutual acquaintances," she explained.

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"But at the end of the year, we each broke two rules."

To find willing participants in her project Robin decided not to pick up men at bars, but to be more strategic in her search.

"I was a very busy magazine editor working long hours and never in my life had I picked up a man at a bar or had a one night stand," she explains.

"So I felt like going about it in a more clear-headed, conscious way."

Robin posted an online ad, entitled Good Girl Seeks Experience. In the post, she wrote: "I'm a 44-year-old professional, educated, attractive woman in an open marriage, seeking single men age 35-50 to help me explore my sexuality."

"I said I wanted to meet in public for dinner and drinks. I explained that if it led to sex then great, but that I couldn't get seriously involved or see them more than a few times."

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The next day, Robin had 23 offers.

So would she advise it?

"Not if you want to stay married," she told This Morning

"I was well aware it would be very risky - but I didn't think we had that much to lose."

- Daily Mail

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