Pete was determined to get ahead, at any cost. Photo / Getty (stock)
Pete was determined to get ahead, at any cost. Photo / Getty (stock)
Charlotte, 32, a marketing manager for a hotel chain, and Pete, 35, an IT manager, had been together for three years when things started to get rocky. Around the same time, Pete's attractive older boss Sarah started paying him a bit too much attention. Here, they explain how their relationship imploded.
Pete: I know I'm going to get flamed here, but I want the chance to tell my side. Yes, I cheated, but I'm not a bad guy.
Charlotte: I really don't see a grey area here. Cheating is cheating, and Pete cheated.
Pete: Let's take a step back here. I mean, nobody cheats because their relationship is going well. Charlotte was travelling a lot for work. We'd been drifting apart for ages, and she didn't seem to see the problem. I tried to tell her how I was feeling, but she brushed me off.
Charlotte: Is he talking about that conversation we had after the footy? One night, after we'd been to a football game — he'd ingested a thousand beers and I was driving — Pete decided to tell me how much he loved me, but he felt sad that I was always away. At least, I think that's what he was saying. He was slurring pretty badly, and I was pretty cheesed I was designated driver that night. Pete's mate Josh was in the back seat, equally inebriated, and just repeating everything Pete said. It wasn't exactly a heart-to-heart.
Pete: It's true though, she was always away. Charlotte works for an international hotel chain and is always going overseas to exotic locations and to expensive dinners, while I'm back here scratching myself on the couch, waiting for a text message. It's humiliating.
Charlotte: Pete knew from the start I travel a lot for work. It's funny, because when we first started dating he thought it sounded exciting. He wanted to come and meet me when I was in Fiji and Hong Kong. Even with the offer of free accommodation, you know how many times he did that? Twice in three years.
Looking back, Pete concedes his boss had always been a bit too interested in him. Photo / Getty (stock)
Pete: I couldn't just drop everything to chase Charlotte everywhere. I had responsibilities at work.
Pete: I admit, it did get out of hand. There was a promotion going at work and I had my eye on it. I wasn't the obvious candidate, but I felt like if I put in the right effort around the office, I could be in with a shot.
Charlotte: If keeping the boss happy is how to get promoted, he was in with a very good shot.
Pete: I had a drink after work with a few of my colleagues, but it was my boss Sarah I really wanted to talk to. She was a few years older than me, divorced, and a hard worker. I always had a lot of time for her, but I never thought of her in any way other than professionally. I asked her a few questions about the role I was applying for her and she was encouraging. She offered to help me out by going over the selection criteria with me.
Charlotte: I had a last-minute trip to New York to clean up a mess in our hotel over there, and I could tell Pete was pissed. He'd been working really hard, and he wanted to blow off some steam over the weekend. I said I'd be back as soon as I could.
Pete: I went around to Sarah's place on the Saturday afternoon, and as soon as I got there I could feel the energy. This was more than just her helping me with my job application. I didn't want to lead her on, but I really wanted this promotion. I had a glass of wine and showed her what I'd written so far. She made some notes and offered some suggestions — all the while she was sitting closer and closer as she had a couple of wines and got a bit braver. I have to admit, after a couple of wines I started to think it wasn't so bad. I mean, Sarah is an attractive, smart, successful woman. And with Charlotte barely knowing I was alive, I guess I was flattered.
Charlotte: Pete had told me he was going to Sarah's that day, and I have to admit I felt a bit uncomfortable about it. I wanted him to get the promotion, but I've seen the way she looks at him before. It wasn't anything too overt, but she certainly seemed to hang on his every word and find his jokes just a little too funny. I was stupid enough to trust him, but I also felt vulnerable, I guess. People think travelling for work is glamorous, but it's a lot of time spent alone with your thoughts in hotel rooms. It can be torturous, especially when your boyfriend is at another woman's house, and he's not answering his texts.
Pete: It's a cliche but we just talked and laughed, and one thing led to another. It probably doesn't matter but she kissed me first. I should have said no, but while I was debating in my head what sort of professional repercussions that would have, I actually started to enjoy myself. It was nice to feel desired for once instead of merely tolerated.
Charlotte: I was up half the night waiting for him to answer, checking my phone every few minutes. All the while he was boning his boss without giving me a second thought. I can still remember just about every minute of that night.
Pete: I could hear my phone going off in the other room while Sarah and I were in her bedroom. I knew it was Charlotte.
Back at Sarah's, things quickly got intimate. Photo / Getty (stock)
Charlotte: It's a small consolation to know Pete couldn't help but think of me as he was cheating. It wasn't enough to stop him though. I finally fell asleep at about 4am, and when I woke there was a text message from Pete.
Pete: As soon as the sex was finished, I knew I had to get out of there. I got dressed and called an Uber. On the way home I texted Charlotte and told her what had happened. I said I was sorry and that it would never happen again.
Charlotte: The trouble with your partner cheating with his boss is that you can never escape it. When he goes to work every day, there she is. If he's even five minutes late, you're wondering what's going on.
Pete: I went into Sarah's office as soon as I got into work on Monday and said that although I found her very attractive, what happened on the weekend couldn't happen again. I told her I was in love with my partner, and although she was furious with me for cheating, I wanted to find a way to make it work. Sarah was really understanding and said she felt embarrassed about what happened. She asked me not to mention it at work again and I happily agreed.
Charlotte: Pete says it was a once-off and it will never happen again, and I believe him, but I don't know how to get past it. What happens next time I have to go away for work and he's feeling a bit needy? I have no reassurance from him that he has another way of dealing with his feelings when they arise. I want to forgive him — Pete's the guy I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with — but I don't know how to move on.
Pete: I didn't get the promotion, and now I don't even know if I'll get to keep the girl. I wish I hadn't told her the truth. Now I feel like I have to choose between the love of my life and my job — because I can't keep both.
Charlotte: I've told him I don't want him to quit his job, but honestly, I can't see us surviving if he stays. It's up to him. It's his mess, he can work out how to fix it.
