NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Harry and Meghan are ‘frazzled’, fraught and lacking romance – like any couple with young kids

By Camilla Tominey
Daily Telegraph UK·
20 May, 2023 03:20 AM7 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Five years after their wedding, the omens are bad as Harry and Meghan seem to be heading in different directions. Photo / Netflix

Five years after their wedding, the omens are bad as Harry and Meghan seem to be heading in different directions. Photo / Netflix

OPINION

It is hard to believe that five years ago today, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle rode through the streets of Windsor in an Ascot Landau carriage, cheered by adoring crowds on their wedding.

At the time, household staff weren’t entirely confident the relationship would go the distance – “no one could see it lasting longer than three years”, according to one insider. Yet as the couple celebrate their “wood” anniversary, Harry and Meghan have proved their doubters wrong.


Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ride in an open-topped carriage after their wedding ceremony at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. Photo / AP
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle ride in an open-topped carriage after their wedding ceremony at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. Photo / AP
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.


While their relationships with their own families might not be what they once were, the marriage appears to be going strong, despite the couple’s outwardly diverging priorities.

The Duchess once described them as moving together “like salt and pepper” but they seem to be heading in opposite directions – Meghan looking forward while Harry dwells on the past.

The extraordinary events of this week – with the couple claiming they had been “involved in a near-catastrophic car chase at the hands of a ring of highly aggressive paparazzi” in New York – seem to expose a chasm between her desire for fame, and Harry’s quest for privacy.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex are seen on May 16. Photo / Getty Images
Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex and Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex are seen on May 16. Photo / Getty Images

Amid much talk of a “Meghanaissance”, Meghan, 41, initially appeared to bathe in the flashbulbs as she made her first official public appearance since the coronation, at the Women of Vision Awards.

Dressed in a £1500 ($3209) gold Johanna Ortiz dress, £1000 Tom Ford stilettos and a matching £900 (Carolina Herrera bag, as she collected her award she told those present: “You can be the visionary of your own life.”

The couple say that after the event, they were subjected to a two-hour “relentless pursuit” by a “gang” of at least six paparazzi. New York City authorities have stated that although photographers made their journey “challenging”, “there were no reported collisions, summonses, injuries, or arrests”.

In pictures of the couple leaving the event, Harry’s discomfort was etched on his face as he used his phone to film the action from the back seat.

The Duke is already trying to reform the British press in his late mother’s memory. Describing it as his “life’s work” in an interview with ITV’s Tom Bradby in January, he is currently waging four separate legal battles against three different newspaper groups over illegal information gathering, phone hacking and a story he claims to be libellous.

Prince Harry speaking during an interview with ITV's Tom Bradby for the programme Harry: The Interview. Photo / PA via AP
Prince Harry speaking during an interview with ITV's Tom Bradby for the programme Harry: The Interview. Photo / PA via AP

He is also suing the Home Office over the removal of his taxpayer-funded security, and the Metropolitan Police’s refusal to allow him to pay for close personal protection while in the UK.

The events of this week raise questions over whether the couple will extend their campaign for privacy to the US. They may wish to team up with other high-profile figures such as the Clooneys, who attended their London wedding five years ago.

George Clooney, whose wife Amal is a human rights lawyer, has spoken about the issue before, writing an open letter after photos of their daughter were published online.

Britain's Prince Harry leaves the Royal Courts Of Justice. Photo / AP
Britain's Prince Harry leaves the Royal Courts Of Justice. Photo / AP

However, questions have been raised over how such a campaign sits with the Duchess’s plans to build her “global enterprise”. Meghan signed with leading global talent agency WME in April amid talk of more “content creation”, a Dior clothing deal and the revamp of her defunct lifestyle blog The Tig.

Given this potential conflict, it is little wonder the couple have cut quite separate figures lately – with Harry travelling alone to the coronation on May 6, leaving Meghan in Montecito with their two children, Archie, who turned 4 that day, and Lilibet who turns 2 next month.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The last time the Sussexes were photographed together in public was at a basketball game in Los Angeles last month, when they missed the opportunity to smooch on the “kiss cam” that pans in on couples in the stands.

Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex attend a basketball game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Memphis Grizzlies. Photo / Getty Images
Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex attend a basketball game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Memphis Grizzlies. Photo / Getty Images

Some took the normally tactile couple’s reluctance as a sign all may not be well between them after Meghan’s absence from Harry’s promotional book tour fuelled split rumours.

Such is their independence from each other that the owner of a leading hotel chain in Montecito recently told The Daily Telegraph they have a room set aside for Harry where he occasionally stays on his own.

The Duke has also been known to stay at the uber-exclusive San Vincente Bungalows when visiting LA, which is a two-hour drive from the couple’s £11 million mansion.

Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's home in Montecito, California. The photo is from the sale listing in 2015.
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's home in Montecito, California. The photo is from the sale listing in 2015.

“That seems to be his escape place,” said a source of the super secretive and selective members’ club in West Hollywood, which – unlike the Soho House chain also frequented by the Sussexes – bans journalists from joining.

A refuge from the rigours of parenting two children under 4, Harry has apparently stayed there after attending Barry’s Bootcamp, a high-octane cardio fitness class, at the nearby Beverly Center. One friend described the couple as “like any parents of such young kids: frazzled”.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

They added: “They are really happy together and live this idyllic life in Montecito, which is essentially a giant gated community of multimillionaires.

“But at the end of the day, they’ve been through a lot and I think they’ve both felt quite ground down by it all.

“They’re like any married couple, five years in.”

As a Californian born and bred, Meghan appears more settled than Harry who, by his own admission, still feels torn by his British ties. As he wrote in his book: “I love my mother country and I love my family and I always will.”

Although he has repeatedly spoken of embracing the Santa Barbara lifestyle, it is no secret that the Duke – cut off from his family and many of his friends – is heavily reliant on his wife’s social circle.

When they first started dating, Harry was Meghan’s protector, guiding her through a royal life that was alien to her, but now the roles have been reversed and it is the Duke who appears to be struggling to find his way.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, during a visit to the Invictus Games in The Hague, Netherlands on Sunday, April 17, 2022. Photo / AP
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, during a visit to the Invictus Games in The Hague, Netherlands on Sunday, April 17, 2022. Photo / AP

That may explain why he is still partially on British time – apparently staying up late into the night, gaming.

Yet with many of his old set still feeling aggrieved at having essentially been “ghosted” after he married Meghan, patience appears to be wearing thin even among his most stalwart supporters.

As one insider explained: “Nobody really speaks to him anymore and even the people who have remained by his side have lately begun to fall away because he is so consistently negative. He’s often complaining and rarely asks after others.

A lip reader has claimed Prince Harry said he was "fed up" with how he is treated while at the coronation. Photo / Getty Images
A lip reader has claimed Prince Harry said he was "fed up" with how he is treated while at the coronation. Photo / Getty Images

“People had stuck with him because they blamed Meghan for isolating him and cutting him off from his friends and family. But he hasn’t done anything to help himself. Now they just see him as completely lost.”

Harry himself referred to the fact that William regards him as “deluded” – but that sentiment also seems to be shared by those in what he once referred to as his “circle of trust”. The word “narcissistic” also creeps into a lot of conversations about the couple.

According to one former military colleague: “No one in the forces has got any time for him at all, which is such a shame because he was hugely popular. You can blame Meghan, but he’s brought a lot of it on himself.”

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

While fully supportive of Spare, the media-savvy Duchess let it be known she raised gentle concerns about whether it was the right move. As a source said at the time: “Is this the way she would have approached things? Possibly not. But she will always back him and would never have got involved in promoting such a personal project. This was about his own life, his own journey and his own perspective.”

Prince Harry's memoir provides a varied portrait of the Duke of Sussex and the royal family. Photo / AP
Prince Harry's memoir provides a varied portrait of the Duke of Sussex and the royal family. Photo / AP

But with speculation about plans for her own memoir, the Duchess will want to avoid any more negative publicity diminishing the Archewell brand after the couple’s approval ratings have fallen to near Duke of York levels.

If her relaunch doesn’t go to plan, however, a blame game is likely to follow – and as someone who once worked for the couple noted: “When you’re that angry with the world, it leaves little time for romance.”


Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Travel

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

19 Jun 06:00 AM
New Zealand

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

19 Jun 04:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

19 Jun 12:00 AM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

19 Jun 06:00 AM

If you need a break from the slopes or don’t fancy a ski, there’s still a lot to do this.

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

19 Jun 04:00 AM
Premium
The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

19 Jun 12:00 AM
The three tools leading the charge in arthritis pain relief

The three tools leading the charge in arthritis pain relief

18 Jun 11:12 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP