Annual report: Steve Braunias kind of looks forward to 2020
End of the year, end of the decade, start of God knows what comes next in my dumb and wayward life. 2020! It can't be any worse than my 2019 but there's no guarantees. I'm open to some new sadness, some fresh shattering of my nerves, some unexpected and upsetting development with a you-get-what-you-deserve twist. Happy New Year to you, too.
"You never know your luck in a small town," a friend of mine used to say over a drink; gosh she was a wonderful person to know, so funny and reckless, and completely loyal. And so optimistic! What a talent she had for optimism - and it was contagious. I only ever felt good about life and my prospects within in it when I was with her. We'd sit and drink for hours. She had a talent for drinking, too.
But I've always been more of a pessimist. No doubt there are fascinating reasons for that dating back to the usual murks and nightmares of childhood and maybe it was something I could have explored with a shrink. I made two or three calls this year to try and secure an appointment. The last attempt was in October but it was really difficult to find someone who could make the time.
"We're constantly in demand, the sad truth is there are a lot of unhappy people in our society," emailed one shrink. I replied, "God, so many losers! Lol I feel better already - I'm not the only one." I didn't hear back from him.