Great Minds: Matt Heath speaks to Urzila Carlson, Jeremy Wells, and Dai Henwood

Herald columnist and Radio Hauraki breakfast host Matt Heath is taking on a new role as Happiness Editor for our Great Minds mental health project. He will share his own insights in his search for wellbeing as well as interviews with international experts in the field.

Over the last few months, I've spoken to some impressive scientific mental wellbeing experts. This week, I'm chatting with some mates whose attitude impresses me. Urzila Carlson, Jeremy Wells, and Dai Henwood are very successful professionals. They have daily wellbeing habits that contribute to their success. I thought I'd nick those and share them.

Urzila Carlson is a superstar comedian who can sell out the Melbourne Town Hall for a month. She is also very funny in person. The two of us were playing with some red wool one day and I popped a rib laughing. I find her hanging with her kids and hassle her for wellbeing advice.

So Urz how come you are so on to it and do you have any tricks I can steal?

Haha, well, I have two mantras I use all the time. The first one is, 'If they can do it, I can do it or it can't be done'. I believe I can do anything at all even brain surgery if I try. I would have to go to university and stuff but if I did the work I believe I could learn to do it. So if something comes up that looks difficult I say to myself. 'If they can do it, I can do it or it can't be done'. Doesn't matter what it is, if there is someone else out there who can do it then I can. My brother and I saw it in a movie called Samantha back in the early 90s. It was a straight-to-video movie. Not a hit. No one has heard of it. I rented it back when you could rent 5 VHS tapes for ten bucks. That time we got two Bruce Lee movies, two Steven Seagals and this movie Samantha.

At some point the main character said that line. 'If they can do it, I can do it or it can't be done'. I thought that's me. That sums me up. I have been saying it to myself ever since. The other mantra I have is 'just because I can doesn't mean I should'.

I use this one all the time. I have a sharp tongue and there are things that pop into my head that I could say to people that I shouldn't. So I say to myself 'just because I can doesn't mean I should'. It works on lots of things in my life. Right now I am thinking I would quite like to buy a new car. So I'm thinking 'just because I can doesn't mean I should'. This one helps me every single day'.

Jeremy Wells plunges into cold water every day, even though he hates it. I cornered him outside his work toilets and recorded him on my phone.

Jeremy, why do you jump in your unheated pool in the middle of winter?

Matt Heath with Jeremy Wells. Photo / Supplied

I started to stop sweating. It wasn't a Wim Hof Instagram thing for me. Although I have seen Art Green looking very good doing it. It didn't start out as Coldwater Therapy for me it was about stopping the sweating after my daily run. If I have a hot shower after a run I just keep sweating and sweating. If I jump into cold water it cuts it off instantly. Then I found I felt quite good emotionally after the horrible plunges. Then I'd noticed the days when I didn't do it I wouldn't feel very good. More nervous or annoyed or whatever. The thing is, however you are feeling before you take the cold plunge, you do not feel that way afterwards.

So let's say you're feeling a little bit weird about things happening in your life. Maybe something or someone is annoying you. Maybe you are worried about something you've done or have to do. Then you jump into the cold and immediately you're shocked into feeling a completely different way. The feeling isn't there anymore. It helps me mentally more than anything else I've ever done in my life. I think it is partly that it's so horrific. You just hate it. You think this is awful.

Every part of you says, don't do this. Don't risk hypothermia. Your body's telling you not to jump. Your brain's telling you not to do it. And then when you do it, it's such a shock.

It's so horrific that nothing else in your day is as bad. You are unlikely to encounter something or someone as punishing as plunging yourself into 10-degree cold water. It's awful in every way. You get out, you've moved on from what was worrying you and everything else is easy compared.

Dai Henwood is a very funny man, great around Lego and a philosopher too.

I texted him "Bro you know how I was saying the other day, that you have a great attitude on life? Well, could you give me 200 words on what you do to be the way you are?". He replied with 173.

Dai Henwood. Photo / Supplied

I don't confuse happiness with excitement. To me, happiness means quiet contentment without too many highs and lows. Life throws a lot at you but you can choose whether to suffer or not. My touchstones throughout the day to remain focused and happy are all around meditation. Not so much sitting like a monk in a lotus position (although I try to do this at least 20 minutes a day) but taking breaths throughout the day and not thinking about the past or fantasying about the future. If I find my mind racing I use this technique.

I try to think of my next thought. Then when it pops into my head I observe it "Ah I am thinking about cleaning my shoes with a toothbrush" then I try and guess my next thought. This slows my mind down and returns me to the moment. I also try to think daily
about my death and remind myself I am only on this earth to have fun and enjoy. This is my sole purpose.

Three great New Zealanders with different approaches to life. Since our chats, I've taken on two of their ideas. Urzila's mantras and Dai's brief breathing meditations. I don't have a pool so instead of Jeremy's plunges I've been whacking my showers over to cold
for a minute at the end. It hurts so bad but I swear it feels so good afterwards.