KEY POINTS:
"It's not that women prefer nice or bad guys. It is that they just don't like single guys!" wrote Cord the other week.
"Oh rubbish," I scoffed before flicking to the next email.
Two weeks later, I am still pondering what Cord said. And I have to say - I
think he has a point.
There is something about a man who already has a girlfriend that makes a woman look twice. But I don't think it's the reason most would assume.
Throughout the ages people have referred to the forbidden fruit theory.
That which you cannot have is somehow sweeter, more enticing, than that which is readily available.
I'm sure this may partially account for why women are drawn to coupled up men (and vice versa), but I don't think it is the sole explanation.
Instead, I have a different theory. And I have to say right now: Men, you are probably not going to like it.
My theory is that men with girlfriends are more appealing than their single comrades because they require less work.
Their potential has been revealed and, more often than not, polished by their current girlfriend.
Honestly, whether you realise it or not, every man undergoes a makeover when he gets a girlfriend. Sometimes subtle, sometimes not. But every man gets one.
I can't count the number of friends who have said: "Yeah, he's great. I just need to something about his . . . [Insert one of following]: hair/shoes/jeans/clothes"
Shallow, perhaps, but true none-the-less.
Men with girlfriends are often better turned out than their single counterparts. Better dressed, better groomed. Yes, it's superficial but appearances count. Especially when it comes to first impressions and attraction.
It's not just physical though. Females bring out a softer side in men. Force them to reveal a gentler self than they would if they were just hanging out with their mates.
A self that is generally more appealing to other women.
It's also a case of confidence. Men with girlfriends are often more sociable and approachable than single men because, well . . . they've already got a girlfriend.
They're not stressing about stuffing things up and saying something stupid. They're (generally speaking) more cool, calm and collected than single men. Which is ultimately more attractive than an eager-to-please bachelor.
I'm not saying women consciously think this way or set out to find themselves attached males. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense.
I'll always remember my friend Jessie's utter devastation when her four-year relationship with Sam ended.
Aside from the usual reasons, she would cry endlessly about how much "work" she had put into him.
"Before me, he didn't even know who Versace was!" she would moan. "And now some other girl's going to reap the benefit of all my experience."
She had a point. Jessie took Sam from a slightly dishevelled ragamuffin to poster boy for urban chic. A look he has continued to embrace years after they split.
So again, I'm not saying it's fact, it is just a theory. But quite a logical one, I think.