KEY POINTS:
In-laws can be difficult at the best of times.
They have the strange status of being a family member, yet not actually having the same upbringing as you.
It's only natural that you don't always see eye-to-eye.
That said, there is no excuse for this.
A reader, Isabel, wrote to me about
her evil sister-in-law, who sounds like an all round nasty piece of work.
When Isabel got engaged, her sister-in-law's first reaction was to insult her engagement ring.
Hurt, Isabel told her she was out of line, but was swiftly told to "Get over yourself".
After years of put-downs and general abuse, Isabel has limited all non-essential contact with her sister-in-law and only visits her brother and their children when his wife is not home.
But as her wedding approaches, Isabel is starting to fret.
She does not want to invite her sister-in-law to the wedding, for fear of her ruining her big day.
(She has, from what I can tell, ruined other family gatherings and events.)
But as that's not an option, Isabel asks how to deal with the sister-in-law and prevent any outbursts.
Well, you're right. You can't not invite your sister-in-law.
Not unless you want to end your relationship with your brother and never see their kids again.
But there are some reasonable steps you can take to minimise trouble.
The most obvious would be to talk to your brother and explain that his wife's "manner" upsets you and, compounded by the stress of the wedding, it would be best if she kept her distance on the day.
As this is a long-standing issue however, I'm guessing this isn't an option.
While I do question how your brother can stand by and watch his wife treat people this way, obviously, for whatever reason he does.
So, option two: Mum.
Your brother might not listen to you but maybe he'll listen to your Mum.
Ask her to have a chat with him and tell him wifey is on notice. If she upsets the bride, she's out of there.
Option three: Defence.
Your bridesmaids are not just your friends, they are the personal gatekeepers to the bride.
Put your bridesmaids on notice to watch out for your sister-in-law and act as a buffer between you and her.
Most weddings are so hectic the bride doesn't have time to talk to the people she actually wants to see, let alone those she's avoiding.
Just remember it's your - and your fiance's - day. If she does say or do something, don't let it ruin the day. Move on and deal with it later.
Besides, it might just be the wake up call your brother needs to realise he's married to an absolute wench.