NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Dying mum's 15 parenting rules for husband raising eight kids alone

Daily Mail
19 Jun, 2018 08:16 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

A single-dad raising eight children has revealed the secret to his success is a 15-point plan written by his wife before she died. Photo / 123RF

A single-dad raising eight children has revealed the secret to his success is a 15-point plan written by his wife before she died. Photo / 123RF

A single-dad raising eight children has revealed the secret to his success is a 15-point plan written by his wife before she died.

Ian Millthorpe, 56, was left struggling to cope after his wife Angie died in 2010 following a long battle with cancer.

But the former miner says he was able to come to terms with the burden of raising his enormous family after Angie compiled a list of parenting essentials for him just days before she died at the age of 48, according to the Daily Mail.

"I can never replace Angie," Ian said, "I don't want to – but I'm determined to do everything that I can to make her proud of our family. Luckily she has made it easier for me."

Among the 15-point plan are rules like "Only one hour a day on the computer," and, "don't let them bite nails" - but Ian says the guidelines have made it infinitely easier to raise his children.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

"I'm very fortunate. I have a bunch of hard-working, caring kids" he added.

"I'm really proud. My children talk about Angie every day, what their Mam used to do, what she used to "

Ian and Angie married in 1985 after falling in love at 14 when they met in the park in Grimethorpe, South Yorks.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

The couple had three sons Ryan, 32, Damon, 29, and Reece, 27 before Angie developed cancer for the first time aged just 29.

After getting the all clear five years later, they had five more kids – Connor, 19, twins Jake and Jade, 15, Corey, 12, and Ella, 10.

But in 2008, non-smoker Angie, was diagnosed with incurable lung cancer - prompting her to write the list.

After Angie's death, Ian noted daughter Ella's first nativity play as a particularly difficult moment.

Discover more

Lifestyle

Man bans teen girlfriend from wearing clean clothes

19 Jun 08:59 PM
Lifestyle

My sore stomach turned out to be cancer

20 Jun 07:24 PM
Lifestyle

Outrage at mum who bans her kids from birthday cake

24 Jun 08:32 PM
Lifestyle

How to prepare kids for a visit with a dying loved one

02 Aug 12:00 AM

He added: "As I sat down a ­teacher said 'Mr Millthorpe, you are in for a real treat'. Then Ella sang a solo number. I could see the parents turning to look at me. I was almost in tears and I kept looking up wishing Angie could see her too."

According to Ian, the list has worked so well that the rules are being passed on to his grandkids – Ryan's son Issak, seven, Damon's two sons Warren, 11, and Cohen, 17 weeks, and Reece's son Jaxon, three, and daughter Willow, one.

"I miss Angie every day but I really did feel her absence during the birth of our grandchildren. She'd have loved hugging them, just as I do," Ian said.

But the hands-on dad has his own health battles. Having survived a brain haemorrhage in 2004, Ian has chronic lung disease and has trouble breathing after over 20 years as a miner.

He said: "The hardest thing I've had to deal with is my health. I just want to do right by Angie and my kids. I don't want to become a burden."

Today Ian and the family will walk along the Yorkshire coast - following rule number seven on Angie's list

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

He said: "We're going to do our annual walk across Thornwick Bay at Flamborough Head, where we'll pay a visit to Angie's bench, lay flowers and share memories.

"We used to lay in that spot as teenagers looking over the bay, so it's a perfect way to keep her involved. When we used to do the walk with Angie, she'd cook a medium rare steak back at home, with chips, onion rings, mushrooms and a sliced tomato.

"This year I'll order that from a pub, where I'll unwrap presents from the kids. My older sons get me Joop or Hugo Boss aftershave as a nod to Angie, as she'd always got me that from them."

Angie's 15-point plan:

1. Plait girls hair or it splits.

2. Must do homework before bed.

3. Must be in[side] one hour before dark.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

4. Vet TV programs.

5. Don't let them bite nails.

6. Vet boyfriends/girlfriends.

7. Keep going to Thornwick with rest of the family.

8. Be strict with them.

9. Check their hair for nits.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

10. Only one hour a day on computer.

11. Make sure Ella has her meningitis booster.

12. Don't have iron too hot for shirts.

13. Don't leave Ella in bath alone.

14. Don't give them too many sweets.

15. Sun block on hot days.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Lifestyle

'Two small boys left fatherless and their mother cast as a scarlet woman'

20 Jun 10:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

Everything Millennial is cool again

20 Jun 06:00 PM
Lifestyle

Lemony bow tie pasta with broccoli and macadamia crunch

20 Jun 05:00 PM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
'Two small boys left fatherless and their mother cast as a scarlet woman'

'Two small boys left fatherless and their mother cast as a scarlet woman'

20 Jun 10:00 PM

The scandalous true-crime murder case that shocked New Zealand.

Premium
Everything Millennial is cool again

Everything Millennial is cool again

20 Jun 06:00 PM
Lemony bow tie pasta with broccoli and macadamia crunch

Lemony bow tie pasta with broccoli and macadamia crunch

20 Jun 05:00 PM
Tauranga couple's 'amazing journey' to parenthood

Tauranga couple's 'amazing journey' to parenthood

20 Jun 05:00 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP