He explained he wanted to delay telling her so they could enjoy the holiday of their dreams to Australia without the news hanging over them.
While fellow users were sympathetic of his situation, a string of responses urged the man to tell his wife that he's dying sooner rather than later.
Seeking advice, the man asked: "...AITA (am I the a******* for putting off telling her I am dying? I have life insurance that will take care of her, so I am not too worried about spending this money now on this trip."
"I plan on talking to her about a sperm bank, just in case she decides she wants my kids in the future, as well as premised birthday cards and other things for her to have."
In response to the post, one person wrote: "YATA (you are the a*******) and I'm sorry and sad to read your story. Regardless, those we love deserve our best and that is conditional based on situation. In your situation you know what's coming and your partner is beyond deserving of this knowledge."
"Protecting them from devastation while you're still able-bodied and telling them late in the game is heart wrenching and devastating. The trip is sweet but only provides closure for you."
Another said: "YWBTA, not only to her but to yourself too. You deserve her love and support through this. She deserves to know so she isn't left questioning why you didn't tell her sooner or what she could've done differently."
A small number of contributors to the thread told the man that he has the right to not tell his wife about his expected death.
One person wrote: "...Sometimes people have to put themselves first and this may be one of those times. They would not be deceiving her in an ill-intended way. It would be saving himself some pain and worry."
"Death is a very personal experience, and if he can make it easier for himself, that doesn't make him an ********. He will tell her when it's time. Then they can grieve together for the time he has left, but at least he was able to make an incredible memory for both of them before they were overcome with grief."
Another said: "...Nothing to add here except NAH. You have the right to disclose or keep this secret. No one has a 'right' to your life and your experiences but you. Marriage isn't an agreement where your spouse has unfettered access to every single thought in your head. If this is how you prefer to live the last year of your life, I support you."
A third added: "You're not an ******** because your heart is in the right place but you really need to tell her. You can't protect her from this for long and the longer you leave it to tell her the worse it will be for her."
Other responses to the thread attempted to provide the man with practical advice for how he can prepare his wife for his death.
A user writing under the handle "Certified Proctologist" advises the man to get his paperwork changed into his wife's name.
"Get all of your paperwork sorted out as soon as possible. Insurance, wills, deeds, bank accounts, whatever will make it easier for her to not have to deal with after you pass. For example, my husband put our new house, car, and bank accounts all in my name so I don't have to worry about removing him from them or accessing our accounts when he dies."
"Also make sure she knows what your end of life instructions are in case she has to make medical decisions for you, and what you want her to do in terms of funeral/burial/cremation etc. Whatever you always wanted to do, do now."
Another added: "Leave her recorded messages. One to comfort her the night you die. One to tell her it is okay to love again."
