Crime writer speaks out on shame of life

Author Anne Perry, who as Juliet Hulme helped murder her best friend's mother, has taken part in a television series about the nature of evil.

Perry, a 64-year-old crime writer living in Scotland, has been interviewed for Evil Thoughts, a three-part series about the nature of evil, almost 50 years after she and Pauline Parker were jailed for killing Honora Parker in Christchurch.

The 1954 murder was the subject of Peter Jackson's 1994 film, Heavenly Creatures.

Anne Perry was the identity given to English-born Hulme after her release from prison.

In an interview with Britain's Sunday Telegraph, Ms Perry said she had done her "utter best" to put the murder out of her mind.

"Once you have admitted that you are at fault, that you have committed a wicked, wicked deed, have said you are sorry, truly, truly sorry [you] have paid the price. Then you must put it behind you. There is no other way."

Ms Perry, who has sold more than five million novels, said one of the worst moments of her life was when her agent rang in 1994 to say Heavenly Creatures was being made, and "some people have got hold of this crazy idea that it's you".

Ms Perry had to admit the truth about her past.

"I thought I would lose everything. I thought it would kill my mother, the truth coming out after so long. I thought it would ruin my career, end everything. Suddenly I was thrown back all those years. I thought: 'Am I ever to be forgiven?"'

Ms Perry told the Sunday Telegraph that she had blocked out the murder and could recall little about her friendship with Parker.

She says there was never a sexual element to the friendship, and maintains she took part in the murder because she feared Parker would commit suicide.

"It seemed to me, to the child I was then, that it was one life or the other. I had to choose. I could not save both."

She has not seen Parker since they were convicted and sent to separate prisons.

Ms Perry agreed to be interviewed by the newspaper because she had taken part in the television series, which screens on Channel 4 in Britain this week.

"I hope at least one viewer whose life has been overshadowed by one terrible, awful mistake will realise that it is possible to go on, to seek redemption, to devote the rest of one's life to becoming a more compassionate, more just, less judgmental person. To atone."

TVNZ, which has a standing relationship with Channel 4, said it had not yet been offered the series but would be interested when it came up for international distribution.