NHS stats show that loss of libido affects one in five British men, and even more women.
NHS stats show that loss of libido affects one in five British men, and even more women.
And it’s a “no” from me (again, darling), as you roll over to your side of the bed. Sound familiar?
There may be a variety of reasons why your sex drive has deflated. NHS stats show that loss of libido affects one in five British men, and even more women.This can be a result of significant life changes, such as the birth of a child, relationship difficulties or work stress. Hormonal changes or medications can also impact your sex drive.
If something more serious is suspected, it is important to have a health check, and men might want to have a blood test to establish their testosterone level - if it is low they can get treatment. Women can also suffer with reduced testosterone and oestrogen, or even an underactive thyroid, which will require hormone replacement tablets.
But much of the time when it comes to a low sex drive, medication is a last resort. There are a number of activities that might help heighten your sexual arousal.
Strong coffee has a stimulating effect on blood vessels. Photo / 123rf
We all know coffee keeps you awake, and after a TikTok claim announced that three solid shots of coffee significantly helped out in the bedroom department, NHS surgeon Dr Karan Rajan offered his explanation on why this might be the case. Rajan says that arousal is influenced by the blood flow into the genitals, and as strong coffee has a stimulating effect on blood vessels, that is why it could help perk up your performance.
Eat fat (the healthy sort)
Salmon, tuna, avocado, nuts, seeds and olive oil all contain healthy fats (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated), which can help boost testosterone production. You might want to add an omega-3 supplement to your diet if you are not eating these foods regularly.
Clare Thornton-Wood, registered dietitian at the British Dietetic Association, adds: “Adequate omega-3 intake has been linked to cardiovascular health, which in turn relates to a healthy blood flow around the body, which is important for libido. If you’re veggie, choose chia seeds, walnuts and flaxseed oil.”
We all know our sense of smell can elicit lust. Smells stimulate the neurotransmitter dopamine, which prompts us to bond with others. But who would believe armpits could turn us on? One Chinese study revealed that participants who engaged more in sniffing their own or their partner’s body odour experienced more sexual desire.
Try acupuncture
"Traditional acupuncture treats the whole person and can build a sense of deep relaxation and emotional wellbeing," says Valeria Frank, a resident acupuncturist at London’s Zita West fertility clinic. Photo/123rf
“It is not uncommon to see both men and women struggling with low libido while attempting to conceive,” says Valeria Frank, a British Acupuncture Council Member and a resident acupuncturist at London’s Zita West fertility clinic.
“After trying for a while, some couples may start feeling the pressure of timing sex around the ‘fertile window’, resulting in stress and low sex drive. Traditional acupuncture treats the whole person and can build a sense of deep relaxation and emotional wellbeing.”
Eat an apple a day
Time to get fruity. Dietician Aisling Pigott says: “Many of us do not eat enough fruit and veg, but one study of 731 women found that eating an apple a day over six months improved sexual function scores, including arousal, lubrication and satisfaction.
“While the mechanism is unknown, it may be associated with polyphenols and antioxidants that boost blood flow. However, it is likely that an increase in fruit and veg overall would see similar benefits. Apples also contain a common phytoestrogen that may reduce vaginal dryness.”
Indulge in fantasies
It is often said that the mind is your biggest sex organ. Psychosexual therapist Tamara Hoyton says: “A very effective way to increase your sexual desire is to engage in your fantasy life. Many of us are scared of our sexual fantasies. But just because we think a thing doesn’t mean we want to act on it. People have many and varied fantasies, like having a threesome, but in their actual lives they may never actually engage in this. But thinking about it can be hugely beneficial in terms of increased sexual desire.
“It is important to look after your own privacy, though, and only disclose your thoughts to a partner who you are comfortable with. The rest is just for you.”
Dance the tango
The tango originated along the border of Argentina and Uruguay and was frequently performed in brothels. Photo / Ralf Steinberger
We only need to look at past Strictly Come Dancing couplings to confirm that close dancing intensifies sexual attraction. There is nothing like the feeling of bodily contact and pounding beats to excite the senses.
The tango originated along the border of Argentina and Uruguay and was frequently performed in brothels. Find a class near you and try out the gancho – it involves hooking your leg around your partner’s body to draw them in.
Have a rest
Tiredness is one of the biggest passion killers. With all the will in the world, if you just can’t keep your eyes open, nothing exciting is going to occur. So, if possible, prioritise your relationship above work commitments, family ties or hectic socialising. Your sex life will thank you.
Run to it
Any health expert will tell you that losing weight and regular exercise are natural performance boosters. In one study by Brooks, an American sports brand, 41 per cent of respondents said they felt frisky after a run. This is mainly related to positive self-image.
On the other hand, when you pile on the pounds, especially around the middle, the fat in your body creates more oestrogen, which can counteract the testosterone that we need for sexual arousal.
Just keep doing it
Sex is like anything you don’t do regularly enough - you lose it. Research shows that men who have sex less than once a week are twice as likely to have erectile dysfunction. Also, women can find sex more painful and lose desire. If you want to boost your sex drive, you need to keep practising.
