It's Saturday evening and my friend Jack is recounting his previous night's exploits - or rather the lack thereof.
It seems, for once, Jack did the sensible thing and walked away from what would inevitably have been a somewhat messy situation.
Jack had run into an old friend and accepted
her invitation go back to her place for a spa (a blatant come-on if ever I heard one).
Flirting and frolicking ensued, before Jack decided he had better head off.
As I raised my eyebrows in bewilderment (such restraint is unheard of from Jack) he explained, "Oh, well I knew she had a boyfriend".
Ahh, the penny drops . . . Actually, it only half-dropped. I was still rather surprised by Jack's newfound sense of morality.
As I continued to probe, Jack went on to say he was sick of being the bad guy. The homewrecker.
Despite the fact he is not the one committing adultery, it always seems to be him that gets the blame.
He's not alone either.
I've noticed with increasing frequency people blaming the "other" man or woman in affairs, choosing to gloss over the wrong-doings of the attached party.
Last week's blog, about my friend Jenna, saw a spate of comments from readers accusing her of deliberately flirting and using her feminine wiles to lure her boss.
But so what if she did?
He's the one with a fiance. When did he stop being responsible for his actions?
People flirt. It's a fact of life. It's not an open invitation to cheat and it certainly isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Take Jack's case for example. If he hadn't left when he did, they probably would have gone to bed together. She did nothing to dissuade him.
She invited him home with her, flirted with him and kissed him.
Yes, he accepted all those advances and probably put out some of his own - but he's not the one with a partner. He's not the one betraying someone's trust.
I'm not saying singletons have a free pass to do as they please - do unto others, etc, etc. - but ultimately, it's not their fault if someone else cheats on their partner.
The only person responsible for your actions is yourself.
