NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Beck Vass: The real reasons mums wear Lycra

Beck Vass
By Beck Vass
NZ Herald·
30 May, 2017 02:30 AM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

It's not so they can stretch and work out. Photo / Getty Images

It's not so they can stretch and work out. Photo / Getty Images

Large increases in "athleisure" (street/sports clothing) sales are being seen around the world - a trend most welcomed by the mums of today, who have been using Lycra to cover up the perils of the daily grind for years.

But behind all those bright coloured camel toes lie many reasons why you see so many mums wearing Lycra.

1. You're basically a professional athlete these days anyway

A simple outing to the park or to the supermarket can result in a sprint session across a car park or down an aisle, a climb to the top of a rope ladder to retrieve a child that could climb up but not down, or some other sort of unexpected wrestling event on the ground.

2. It's safer

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Unlike the pretty summer dress or shorts you might have worn in your previous life, Lycra is not going to reveal your bum or boobs unless something has gone very, very wrong with your purchases or the strength of your child.

Kids are obsessed with bums and boobs and poos and wees. Even just standing around with your child can result in a hemline being lifted too high or a neckline pulled too low as your child points to some previously private body part to ridicule you in public.

Lycra doesn't move when you move and it won't reveal bits of you that you don't want other people to see. Hell, you don't even want to see those bits yourself anymore.

3. It dries quickly

Sometimes you need your clothes washed multiple times a day. But that's not going to happen. With Lycra, you can just grab a wet wipe as you drive and hope that whatever was smeared on you will be off and the wet mark dry before you get to your destination.

4. It's hard to stain

Your kids may try their hardest but Lycra is pretty hard to permanently stain. Photo / Getty Images
Your kids may try their hardest but Lycra is pretty hard to permanently stain. Photo / Getty Images

Note that says hard - not impossible. Kids find a way to do even the most difficult things. You've learned the lesson. Wear white and it gets berry or coffee stains.

Black will get baby spew or snot on it. No mum needs their exterior looking as filthy as she feels on the inside. Lycra doesn't absorb much and what gets on it brushes off easily.

5. It's okay to look slightly dishevelled in it

Everyone who has been exercising looks a little scruffy. No one needs to know that you haven't quite made the walk you intended on. Maybe you even stopped intending to go walking.

That's okay because, every morning you do enough exercise getting your little darlings: fed, dressed, to the toilet, to clean their teeth, to stop eating the toothpaste, to stop putting the toothbrush in the toilet, to stop fighting with each other, to put socks on, to put shoes on, to put their shoes back on when they took them off, to get out of your driver's seat and into their car seat, to get belted into said car seat after a 10-minute physical showdown that has you sweating and your Fitbit heart rate monitor reading "108 FAT BURN".

I compete in an endurance event every fricken' morning. This IS my exercise - Lycra and dishevelled appearance (and mental instability) is completely justified.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

6. You haven't washed your hair in four days

Just kidding. It's been about 10. Longer? No judgment here. When you're in Lycra, your hair just looks messy because you're so sporty.

7. You don't have any real clothes left

All your nice stuff was for work or going out and things have changed. What you used to wear doesn't fit the same and even if it does, your lifestyle has changed so much that it isn't really suitable.

Plus, you had a clear-out a year ago and just haven't got around to replacing anything.

8. You feel like you look bad in everything else now anyway

Nothing feels or looks quite right anymore and you don't know what you should be wearing or how to wear it.

Your wardrobe full of stuff just DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Life doen't make sense.

And, your worst fears were confirmed the last time you tried to wear a nice dress after your four-year-old laughed and said "you look funny" before asking you "why is your tummy so big?"

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Royals

Prince William: ‘I want to bring about real change’

13 Jun 05:00 PM
Lifestyle

What to do in Auckland this weekend: Matariki, midwinter magic and must-see shows

13 Jun 05:00 PM
Premium
Lifestyle

Is Instagram the new celebrity dating app?

13 Jun 03:12 AM

BV or thrush? Know the difference

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Premium
Prince William: ‘I want to bring about real change’

Prince William: ‘I want to bring about real change’

13 Jun 05:00 PM

Telegraph: In a world exclusive, the Prince says he’s leading with a simple goal.

What to do in Auckland this weekend: Matariki, midwinter magic and must-see shows

What to do in Auckland this weekend: Matariki, midwinter magic and must-see shows

13 Jun 05:00 PM
Premium
Is Instagram the new celebrity dating app?

Is Instagram the new celebrity dating app?

13 Jun 03:12 AM
Watch: ‘My wife loves it’ - Simon Bridges roasted for his facial hair

Watch: ‘My wife loves it’ - Simon Bridges roasted for his facial hair

13 Jun 02:40 AM
It was just a stopover – 18 months later, they call it home
sponsored

It was just a stopover – 18 months later, they call it home

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP