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Latest FromBeck Vass

At about 5pm, right when I would have been watching Elsa and Minnie Mouse, I left my husband with the two ratbags and the baby. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I broke my kids' hearts over Disney on Ice

3 Sep, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

"My son cried. I felt bad but not bad enough," writes Beck Vass.

The final straw came at 5am the other morning. Then the toys disappeared... Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

The toy you should not buy your kids

27 Aug, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

This toy had been in our lives just five minutes and I already hated it.

Every day for the last two weeks I have told myself I will sort the piles of washing. But I don't. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why I've stopped cleaning my house

20 Aug, 2019 7:28am
4 minutes to read

Every day for the last two weeks I have told myself I will sort it. But I don't.

If you ask me, the country's outrage is what is misplaced, writes Beck Vass. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Unhelpful words in alcohol death of tiny baby girl

9 Aug, 2019 5:23pm
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass on the "gross discrepancy" in comments around recent deaths of Kiwi kids.

No one needs to hear you hacking up snot and then re-swallowing it. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Dirty habits spreading winter bugs

30 Jul, 2019 7:26am
3 minutes to read

Coughing, sneezing, hacking, snotting - Beck Vass says people are un-necessarily gross.

Even the most safety-conscious kids are prone to unpredictable movements. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Parents need to stop doing this outside schools

23 Jul, 2019 8:00am
3 minutes to read

Your selfish act could result in a serious injury or death, writes Beck Vass.

I don't usually like judging people's parenting decisions but honestly, it's getting a bit ridiculous, writes Beck Vass. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Tauranga playground closed by 'cotton-wool parents'

16 Jul, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Beck Vass is calling out the "over-protective" parents behind the shut down.

When I had my first couple of wines earlier this year - after almost 12 months of no alcohol - I instantly noticed what it did to me. Stock photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi mum: The impact of booze after giving birth

9 Jul, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass shares what happened when she went back to booze after giving birth.

A new poll says that dad shaming is real and it causes some men to back off from parenting. Photo / Getty Images.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: 'Dad-shaming' is bullsh*t

25 Jun, 2019 10:00am
4 minutes to read

Lucky dad's - mum's don't have the luxury of bailing out of parenting their child.

My daughter wants to fart on people and my four-year-old took a

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My kids are turning into deviants

4 Jun, 2019 8:24am
3 minutes to read

My daughter wants to fart on people and my 4-year-old took a "d*** pic" using my phone.

Within a week or two, tiny newborn nappies start looking like g-strings. Photo / Getty Images.

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi mum's guide to having a humongous baby

23 May, 2019 11:10am
4 minutes to read

Within a week or two, tiny newborn nappies start looking like g-strings.

Many of our teachers are working themselves into the ground: they work into their nights, weekends and of course, school

LIFESTYLE

A parent's view on New Zealand's teachers' strikes

21 May, 2019 7:18am
3 minutes to read

What teachers are expected to do for their pay has become untenable, writes Beck Vass.

I know someone will respond to this saying:

LIFESTYLE

My dinner disaster: Slippery chicken and a distracted husband

14 May, 2019 8:34am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass shares her Monday night mealtime meltdown.

Beck Vass discovers Easter eggs just aren't what they used to be. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why Easter was a total let down this year

24 Apr, 2019 7:56am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass asks, is it just me or did Easter sell out early this year?

I don't want to be unfair to the men. Okay, let's be honest: I do want to be unfair to the men. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Are you 'the other parent'?

23 Apr, 2019 7:27am
3 minutes to read

After lying awake battling mental chatter, Beck Vass turned to her husband.

My son is tough. He takes really big knocks and never makes a fuss, but on this occasion he was a mess. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The day I accidentally rubbed salt in my son's wounds

12 Apr, 2019 8:07am
3 minutes to read

Sometimes Mum makes it all better, and sometimes she rubs salt in your wounds - literally.

For many of us, the association of the Crusaders' name with holy wars wasn't known about until three weeks ago. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Re-name the Crusaders? 'Chiefs' and 'Hurricanes' have killed people too

5 Apr, 2019 10:08am
4 minutes to read

"We were all love, inclusiveness and understanding, until it came to our rugby."

When I shared my caught-in-the-nude moment with friends, several had similar stories. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

When Kiwi mums get caught in the nude

12 Mar, 2019 8:03am
3 minutes to read

When I shared my caught-in-the-nude moment with friends, several had similar stories.

Somehow, the planets aligned for me and I was in and out within half an hour, with 16 items and only a short wait at the counter. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

A mum's guide to surviving New Zealand's most hectic sale

8 Mar, 2019 8:06am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass reveals her hacks for surviving a Farmers 50 per cent of kids clothes sale.

I'm sweating and trying to pretend it's all been sweet as getting here, no worries at all. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My most nerve-racking Plunket interview

5 Mar, 2019 7:25am
3 minutes to read

He's going to tell her everything. Even some stuff that isn't true but makes me sound bad.

Mortified and mulling over my options, I then got a glimpse ahead. It was the child in front. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

'It smelled like Satan': Nappy change nightmare on NZ flight

26 Feb, 2019 7:20am
3 minutes to read

I don't know what that kid had eaten but it smelled like Satan made it.

Sobbing, with snot streaming down his face, he said sadly, as if no one in the world understood his pain (which they didn't):

LIFESTYLE

Why is my 3-year-old eating more than me?

19 Feb, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass is struggling with a "hangry" little monster. And fears it's about to get worse.

As always, there are the usual reactions from others who seem to think that anyone who speaks of enjoying some time to themselves is a bad mum. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The guilty joy of sending kids back to school

12 Feb, 2019 8:04am
3 minutes to read

Wanting to enjoy some time to yourself doesn't make you a bad mum.

Sack races don't always end well, as Beck Vass found out. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What Kiwi mums need to know about sack races

5 Feb, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

And the other kids games than can cause serious injuries for adults.

When I went to kiss our boy for the first time, his face was so little it felt like I was about to eat his nose. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The things you'll forget about having a baby

29 Jan, 2019 8:08am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass has six reminders of the little things you've likely forgotten about your kids.

The tourists accused of bad behaviour leaving their Hamilton accommodation Photo / Christine Cornege

LIFESTYLE

This family makes me feel better about my parenting

22 Jan, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

For all her family frustrations this summer, one saga has made Back Vass feel much better.

I've had three babies and tried breastfeeding unsuccessfully each time due to a lack of supply. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why formula was best for my babies

15 Jan, 2019 8:24am
3 minutes to read

There's a phrase you're bombarded with before you even start looking for information.

I'm generally just sick of every single noise I hear because it's someone needing something from me. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why New Zealand's summer school holidays need to be shorter

13 Jan, 2019 4:18pm
4 minutes to read

The struggle is real, and this Kiwi mum just summed it up perfectly — who can relate?

LIFESTYLE

Why NZ's summer school holidays need to be shorter

8 Jan, 2019 7:27am
4 minutes to read

Comment: Beck Vass on having too much of a good thing.

Women have been tricked into buying into this bullsh*t in a way that men have not. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The New Year's resolution all women should make

2 Jan, 2019 7:55am
4 minutes to read

Why you shouldn't buy undies to smooth out your undies - and other ridiculous products.

I'd had questions I wanted to ask but didn't get to ask them. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My disgraceful doctor's visit at Tauranga Hospital

1 Jan, 2019 8:27am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass hoped her appointment would go smoothly. It didn't. Here's why.

It's not easy being a Kiwi mum over Christmas. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

A Kiwi mum's hilarious ode to Christmas

26 Dec, 2018 7:33am
3 minutes to read

Christmas was far from perfect for one Kiwi mum.

I yelled at the kids for not listening (because, of course, yelling is always the best way to get kids to listen), burst into tears and had to unblock the vacuum four times. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Why you should never build kitset furniture in front of your kids

25 Dec, 2018 1:00pm
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: I wanted to be Cool Mum and let the kids help. What a mistake that was.

For some kids and families, I am sure this isn't a problem. But for us, it is. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: I took away the TV, now the kids are happier

4 Dec, 2018 12:07pm
3 minutes to read

Could that thing you think is making raising kids easier actually be making it harder?

He did one of those silent screams that kids only do when they are in a lot of pain. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My baby nearly fainted from the pain of his vaccinations

27 Nov, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass: Vaccinating your baby is one of the first times you feel parental guilt.

After two reasonably uneventful, regular births, I was almost looking forward to being able to experience birth both ways and share this with people. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The truth about c-sections versus natural births

20 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

After two natural births, Beck Vass thought she was on easy street with a c-section.

Sure, not all teachers are as awesome as Mrs Reid. But there will be even less who are if we don't look after them. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My daughter's teacher has 10 jobs

12 Nov, 2018 7:09am
4 minutes to read

Better pay for teachers is an expensive problem to fix. But what will it cost if we don't?

Life's too short to stress about separating loads of laundry into whites and colours, says Beck Vass. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

My c-section complication changed my life - for the better

6 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It took being shattered after a c-section birth to upend Beck Vass' outlook on life.

What if I'm so drugged up after my c-section I agree to calling my kid something awful? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why I'm concerned my baby will be named 'Slayer'

19 Oct, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

As Beck Vass gives births, she worries she'll come out with a little "Slayer". Here's why.

My husband keeps leaving the bath mat on the floor. Bending over to pick it up after he's gone to work feels like a marathon. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The worst stage of pregnancy

1 Oct, 2018 11:20am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Think the first trimester is tough? Beck Vass has news for you.

A few days ago, I signed the surgical consent forms in which I was informed of all the worst-case scenarios. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I'm not having a natural birth and I'm terrified

24 Sep, 2018 7:55am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass has two choices: Sign the forms or die.

I am on edge, irritable, anxious, vulnerable. I forgot how small they are. I don't know if I can do this. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What really goes on inside the mind of a pregnant woman

17 Sep, 2018 7:56am
3 minutes to read

"Panic. I can't do this." Beck Vass, due to give birth next month, reveals her fears.

To every pregnant woman I've ever spoken to, I'm sorry for any offence caused! No one should comment on a pregnant woman's appearance. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: What not to say to a pregnant woman

3 Sep, 2018 8:56am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Don't be the reason a pregnant woman is left crying into a packet of Tim Tams.

LIFESTYLE

School cross country: Kids shouldn't have a choice

27 Aug, 2018 7:20am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: How is stopping non-athletic kids from participating helping anyone?

He's the loved one that everyone who has lost someone to suicide knows, and that heartache just washes over you every time you hear about another one. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

The real reason Greg Boyed's death hurts so many Kiwis

24 Aug, 2018 9:34am
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: I've had a friend stolen like this. In NZ it's rare to find anyone who hasn't.

It's a divisive topic. Some people want to know, others don't. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Should you find out your baby's gender?

20 Aug, 2018 8:47am
3 minutes to read

My friends are going insane over the gender reveal of our baby. This brings me great joy.

Jacinda and Clarke and baby Neve. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

Why we need to stop judging Jacinda for returning to work

13 Aug, 2018 7:43am
3 minutes to read

"Where are the opinion pieces screaming that men chose their jobs over their children?"

Sometimes it's hard to find an answer to

LIFESTYLE

What to say when your kid asks 'the question'

6 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

"At the tender age of five-and-a-half, my daughter has just hit me with THE question."

The thing about five-year-olds is that while still quite innocent, they have enough knowledge to challenge things and they are insatiably curious, with questions beyond what many adults have the answers to. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How do you talk to a 5-year-old about death?

30 Jul, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Google only gets you so far when it comes to answering kids curly questions.

Everything had been starting to feel like a battle before Beck Vass moved to Tauranga. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I left Auckland six years ago - this is what I miss

23 Jul, 2018 7:55am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass left Auckland for her kids but there are some things she'll always miss.

I was stunned by the prices at Smiggle. This is the Chanel of children's stationery, I thought to myself. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Thanks Smiggle, I've already blown my school holidays budget

16 Jul, 2018 10:19am
3 minutes to read

Comment: I brushed the sequins on a Smiggle notebook up and down. Damn, they're worth it.

In New Zealand, c-sections are to childbirth as formula is to feeding. The rhetoric around them is that they should be avoided at all costs. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why do Kiwi mums feel like failures over c-sections?

9 Jul, 2018 8:50am
3 minutes to read

In New Zealand, c-sections are to childbirth as formula is to feeding, writes Beck Vass.

I am just one person and these are only a few experiences. I know there are plenty with greater concerns and I am sure there are plenty who only have praise too. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Not everyone gets a macaroni midwife like Jacinda's

3 Jul, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass can't help wonder if our PM had quite a different experience to the rest of us.

In the hours after our daughter's birth, I was in utter shock. It still seems an odd thing to feel when we'd had nine months to expect it - especially as I was 12 days overdue. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Jacinda's baby: Elation and utter shock of giving birth

21 Jun, 2018 12:33pm
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass, mum-of-two with one on the way, on the shock and elation of giving birth.

I hadn't heard that word in many, many years. So I was sure it hadn't been me. But what if I have said it and can't remember? In front of the kids, though. Really? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why the hell is my son playing 'night minges'?

18 Jun, 2018 12:58pm
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass was shocked by her son's game. Then she worked out what he was really saying.

My rage-texts to my husband - because everything is his fault and he was the one who insisted on these stupid speakers floating around in every room anyway - didn't help things. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My husband isn't always right

13 Jun, 2018 8:31am
3 minutes to read

Pregnancy rage at its peak, Beck Vass learns her tech-savvy husband isn't always right.

Beck Vass took her little boy to Tauranga hospital with a broken arm and left appalled by the

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The scum outside Tauranga Hospital

5 Jun, 2018 8:36am
3 minutes to read

Mum left appalled after taking her son to hospital with a broken arm.

With Mum in town my husband and I decided to take the rare chance to go out for dinner. Disaster ensued. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How baby brain ruined my dinner date

28 May, 2018 2:09pm
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass takes baby brain to the next level when she attempts a romantic night out.

Being reassured that all the things I knew I had done wrong are normal parts of family life has freed up my mind. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: How $200 saved my life

21 May, 2018 10:49am
3 minutes to read

After sharing her "ugly confessions" Beck Vass says she wishes she'd done this years ago.

Beck Vass is 16-weeks pregnant and baby brain has taken over. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Attack of the baby brain

15 May, 2018 7:45am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: "Jacinda's running the country as I'm out losing my car. And my mind."

I decided not to ask Google for advice on this one. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: I wish I'd lied about where babies come from

9 May, 2018 9:45am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass decided to be straight up with her kids. She immediately regretted it.

The world has never felt so offensive or irritating. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How did I forget these pregnancy horrors?

1 May, 2018 7:17am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass lifts the lid on the physical ailments she'd forgotten can come with pregnancy.