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Life's too short to stress about separating loads of laundry into whites and colours, says Beck Vass. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

My c-section complication changed my life - for the better

6 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It took being shattered after a c-section birth to upend Beck Vass' outlook on life.

What if I'm so drugged up after my c-section I agree to calling my kid something awful? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why I'm concerned my baby will be named 'Slayer'

19 Oct, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

As Beck Vass gives births, she worries she'll come out with a little "Slayer". Here's why.

I yelled at the kids for not listening (because, of course, yelling is always the best way to get kids to listen), burst into tears and had to unblock the vacuum four times. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Why you should never build kitset furniture in front of your kids

9 Oct, 2018 8:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: I wanted to be Cool Mum and let the kids help. What a mistake that was.

My husband keeps leaving the bath mat on the floor. Bending over to pick it up after he's gone to work feels like a marathon. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The worst stage of pregnancy

1 Oct, 2018 11:20am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Think the first trimester is tough? Beck Vass has news for you.

A few days ago, I signed the surgical consent forms in which I was informed of all the worst-case scenarios. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I'm not having a natural birth and I'm terrified

24 Sep, 2018 7:55am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass has two choices: Sign the forms or die.

I am on edge, irritable, anxious, vulnerable. I forgot how small they are. I don't know if I can do this. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What really goes on inside the mind of a pregnant woman

17 Sep, 2018 7:56am
3 minutes to read

"Panic. I can't do this." Beck Vass, due to give birth next month, reveals her fears.

I'd had questions I wanted to ask but didn't get to ask them. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My disgraceful doctor's visit at Tauranga Hospital

10 Sep, 2018 7:18am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass hoped her appointment would go smoothly. It didn't. Here's why.

To every pregnant woman I've ever spoken to, I'm sorry for any offence caused! No one should comment on a pregnant woman's appearance. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: What not to say to a pregnant woman

3 Sep, 2018 8:56am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Don't be the reason a pregnant woman is left crying into a packet of Tim Tams.

LIFESTYLE

School cross country: Kids shouldn't have a choice

27 Aug, 2018 7:20am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: How is stopping non-athletic kids from participating helping anyone?

He's the loved one that everyone who has lost someone to suicide knows, and that heartache just washes over you every time you hear about another one. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

The real reason Greg Boyed's death hurts so many Kiwis

24 Aug, 2018 9:34am
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: I've had a friend stolen like this. In NZ it's rare to find anyone who hasn't.

It's a divisive topic. Some people want to know, others don't. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Should you find out your baby's gender?

20 Aug, 2018 8:47am
3 minutes to read

My friends are going insane over the gender reveal of our baby. This brings me great joy.

Jacinda and Clarke and baby Neve. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

Why we need to stop judging Jacinda for returning to work

13 Aug, 2018 7:43am
3 minutes to read

"Where are the opinion pieces screaming that men chose their jobs over their children?"

Sometimes it's hard to find an answer to

LIFESTYLE

What to say when your kid asks 'the question'

6 Aug, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

"At the tender age of five-and-a-half, my daughter has just hit me with THE question."

The thing about five-year-olds is that while still quite innocent, they have enough knowledge to challenge things and they are insatiably curious, with questions beyond what many adults have the answers to. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How do you talk to a 5-year-old about death?

30 Jul, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Google only gets you so far when it comes to answering kids curly questions.

Everything had been starting to feel like a battle before Beck Vass moved to Tauranga. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I left Auckland six years ago - this is what I miss

23 Jul, 2018 7:55am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass left Auckland for her kids but there are some things she'll always miss.

I was stunned by the prices at Smiggle. This is the Chanel of children's stationery, I thought to myself. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Thanks Smiggle, I've already blown my school holidays budget

16 Jul, 2018 10:19am
3 minutes to read

Comment: I brushed the sequins on a Smiggle notebook up and down. Damn, they're worth it.

In New Zealand, c-sections are to childbirth as formula is to feeding. The rhetoric around them is that they should be avoided at all costs. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why do Kiwi mums feel like failures over c-sections?

9 Jul, 2018 8:50am
3 minutes to read

In New Zealand, c-sections are to childbirth as formula is to feeding, writes Beck Vass.

I am just one person and these are only a few experiences. I know there are plenty with greater concerns and I am sure there are plenty who only have praise too. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Not everyone gets a macaroni midwife like Jacinda's

3 Jul, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass can't help wonder if our PM had quite a different experience to the rest of us.

In the hours after our daughter's birth, I was in utter shock. It still seems an odd thing to feel when we'd had nine months to expect it - especially as I was 12 days overdue. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Jacinda's baby: Elation and utter shock of giving birth

21 Jun, 2018 12:33pm
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass, mum-of-two with one on the way, on the shock and elation of giving birth.

I hadn't heard that word in many, many years. So I was sure it hadn't been me. But what if I have said it and can't remember? In front of the kids, though. Really? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why the hell is my son playing 'night minges'?

18 Jun, 2018 12:58pm
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass was shocked by her son's game. Then she worked out what he was really saying.

My rage-texts to my husband - because everything is his fault and he was the one who insisted on these stupid speakers floating around in every room anyway - didn't help things. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My husband isn't always right

13 Jun, 2018 8:31am
3 minutes to read

Pregnancy rage at its peak, Beck Vass learns her tech-savvy husband isn't always right.

Beck Vass took her little boy to Tauranga hospital with a broken arm and left appalled by the

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The scum outside Tauranga Hospital

5 Jun, 2018 8:36am
3 minutes to read

Mum left appalled after taking her son to hospital with a broken arm.

With Mum in town my husband and I decided to take the rare chance to go out for dinner. Disaster ensued. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How baby brain ruined my dinner date

28 May, 2018 2:09pm
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass takes baby brain to the next level when she attempts a romantic night out.

Being reassured that all the things I knew I had done wrong are normal parts of family life has freed up my mind. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: How $200 saved my life

21 May, 2018 10:49am
3 minutes to read

After sharing her "ugly confessions" Beck Vass says she wishes she'd done this years ago.

Beck Vass is 16-weeks pregnant and baby brain has taken over. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Attack of the baby brain

15 May, 2018 7:45am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: "Jacinda's running the country as I'm out losing my car. And my mind."

I decided not to ask Google for advice on this one. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: I wish I'd lied about where babies come from

9 May, 2018 9:45am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass decided to be straight up with her kids. She immediately regretted it.

The world has never felt so offensive or irritating. Image / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How did I forget these pregnancy horrors?

1 May, 2018 7:17am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass lifts the lid on the physical ailments she'd forgotten can come with pregnancy.

Lesson number one: Don't rush through all the activities on the first day. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Lessons from my first school holidays as a mum

26 Apr, 2018 10:07am
4 minutes to read

As a mum, Beck Vass is new to school holidays. Here she shares her rookie mistakes.

I am so sick of people making out like you have to watch every second of your kids' lives. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I use my phone to ignore my kids - so what?

16 Apr, 2018 8:19am
4 minutes to read

Comment: I make no apology for being on my phone in front of my kids. Here's why.

My daughter dressed in her uniform and added pants under her uniform skirt, another skirt over the top of it, a long-sleeved top over her polo shirt, rainbow-striped socks and fairy wings. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

How do I get my child to wear her uniform properly?

3 Apr, 2018 9:09am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: My daughter is giving me hell - again.

We're offended when someone asks if our child is still having a bottle, or if we're asked if we're working, or not working. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why Mark Richardson can't offend me

26 Mar, 2018 9:01am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass is a stay-at-home mum who says it's time parents got over some things.

I have made every effort not to pass my irrational fear of creepy crawlies on to my kids. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What I didn't realise I'd taught my kids

20 Mar, 2018 7:17am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass has done her best not to impart irrational fears on to her children.

We're sanitising our hands and just waiting to see when it gets us, how bad it will be, and just hoping that through some miracle we are spared. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: One of the worst things about parenting

13 Mar, 2018 10:36am
3 minutes to read

Although brief in the grand scheme of things, Beck Vass is tired of the suffering.

Sometimes a short walk to school can take a lot of energy. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The extra hour that might kill you

6 Mar, 2018 7:39am
3 minutes to read

Daylight savings can play havoc with family life, something Beck Vass knows far too well.

Beck Vass welcomes you to tell her children off. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Please, go ahead and tell off my children

27 Feb, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

If my kid is being a brat, and my efforts to stop it are not working, please back me up!

It's as if school has refuelled her already feisty-spirit. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Has school turned my child into a terror?

20 Feb, 2018 7:24am
3 minutes to read

Everyone knows about the Terrible Twos. But what fresh hell is this? asks Beck Vass.

My girl's school uniform is giving me back two things I thought I had lost: my sanity and my time. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My saving grace every school morning

12 Feb, 2018 2:44pm
3 minutes to read

Often deemed outdated and pricey, for new school mum Beck Vass, this item is a lifesaver.

Is this an all-too-familiar scene in your house? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why I hate sharing food with my kids

31 Jan, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass has a confession to make, which might be causing her to question her own sanity.

How many whiteboard markers does one classroom really need? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why am I buying stationery for my child's teacher?

23 Jan, 2018 7:25am
3 minutes to read

Her first child is off to school. But Beck Vass is more upset about her stationery list.

Would you do this with you kids' teeth? Photo / Facebook

LIFESTYLE

The creepiest thing you can do with your kids' baby teeth

16 Jan, 2018 1:31pm
3 minutes to read

A horrendous idea for what to do with kids' baby teeth has left Beck Vass feeling sick.

I'm going to hunt you down, Chelsea Winter, and throw my kids at you. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My Chelsea Winter cake disaster

9 Jan, 2018 9:48am
3 minutes to read

Baking with kids isn't exactly a piece of cake, learns Beck Vass.

They won't leave the tree alone and they've eaten most of the chocolates in their Advent Calendars already. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Help! I'm ruining my kids' Christmas

19 Dec, 2017 8:49am
3 minutes to read

My children's Christmas memories are going to be of their angry, shouting mother.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why do I keep forgetting my second kid?

12 Dec, 2017 11:26am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass can't seem to remember her second child's name, birth date or existence.

LIFESTYLE

Help! My toddler has 'roid rage

5 Dec, 2017 8:15am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: "If you're going to drug my kid, can't you give me a little something too?"

There is problem with kids toys that Beck Vass wants parents to beware of. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The problem with cheap and nasty toys

28 Nov, 2017 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass on why you shouldn't buy your kids cheap toys.

I have had a lot of time to find the worst toys to gift a child. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

This Christmas I'm getting revenge with my gifts

21 Nov, 2017 10:48am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass has been given some horrendous gifts. This year she's out for revenge.

LIFESTYLE

What to do when you child's favourite toy disappears

14 Nov, 2017 7:28am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass is out for blood. Her son's toy bunny is missing and she must bring him home.

LIFESTYLE

The surprising way to unite a neighbourhood

8 Nov, 2017 7:56am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass finds her neighbourhood soulmates in an unexpected way.

I was shocked and disturbed by my daughter's sudden act of violence. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What is my husband teaching my child?

31 Oct, 2017 9:46am
2 minutes to read

Horrified by her child's behaviour, Beck Vass was surprised to learn where it came from.

Some toys just leave you with more questions than answers. Photo / Hasbro.com

LIFESTYLE

Why are my kids obsessed with a sh**ing toy cat?

24 Oct, 2017 11:06am
3 minutes to read

My kids think this farting, defecating cat is the best thing in their tiny little lives.

Beck Vass spent five hours icing her daughter's cake, which ended up staining the carpet. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The true cost of a child's birthday party

17 Oct, 2017 8:14am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass went to a lot of effort for her daughter's fifth birthday. Was it worth it?

I wonder if it's me? Food she's eating? Additives? Gluten? Psychopathic tendencies already emerging? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: I hope my daughter is always this feisty

10 Oct, 2017 9:51am
3 minutes to read

She may be hard for me to handle now but I hope she doesn't change, writes Beck Vass.

LIFESTYLE

Why daylight saving is ruining my life

3 Oct, 2017 1:45pm
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: Evenings for people with kids are hell. No one deserves an extra hour of that.

It isn't an easy task to be a great mother. But you have to keep your smarts. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why I'm a sh**ty mum

27 Sep, 2017 10:45am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass on why being the perfect parent isn't always easy or necessary.

You don't need to know about this but I feel like if I am disturbed by it everyone else should suffer too. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why does my son keep taking off his clothes?

19 Sep, 2017 10:30am
3 minutes to read

Thanks to her son, Beck Vass has learnt more about the male body than she ever needed to.

The joys of being married with kids. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Diary of a drunk husband

12 Sep, 2017 7:18am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass on how to make putting the kids to bed even more difficult.

Some people prepare their kids by gradually adjusting bedtimes in the lead-up to the time change. Not me. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

Daylight saving and kids: What you need to know

6 Sep, 2017 9:01am
3 minutes to read

Every year around this time my kids get loopy and we wonder what the hell is going on.

I've pulled over to the sides of many roads and spent many days expecting CYFs to phone. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

I was wrong to gloat about parenting getting easier

29 Aug, 2017 8:05am
3 minutes to read

Last week Beck Vass thought things were looking up in the parenting stakes. She was wrong.

The fights they were having every day - over everything - appear to have become mixed with friendship. They are playing. Together. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

The light at the end of the parenting tunnel

22 Aug, 2017 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Life felt very hard for a while there and then something shifted, writes Beck Vass.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My Food Bag disaster

15 Aug, 2017 9:59am
3 minutes to read

I denied my kids hot chips for bad behaviour and went into battle with a Food Bag.

After he turned one, he acquired a taste for the finer things in life, such as serviettes. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: What the hell has my baby eaten?

8 Aug, 2017 7:22am
3 minutes to read

You know it's a good party when a kid vomits up pink tinsel.

Understandably, grandma was not impressed. Photo / Getty

LIFESTYLE

When my son bit my mother-in-law on the bum

25 Jul, 2017 8:13am
3 minutes to read

A family holiday reveals Beck Vass' children's latest fascination: Bottoms.