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I'm not so worried about him starting school, I'm sad about him leaving daycare. Photo / 123rf

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why I'm upset about my son's first day of school

3 Feb, 2020 8:20am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass is sending her son off to school. He's fine about it but she's not so thrilled.

For some unknown reason (insanity?) I want to make the kids' cakes myself even though it makes so much more sense - financially, physically, emotionally - to outsource the job. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

I wasted two days making my kid's elaborate birthday cake

29 Jan, 2020 8:01am
3 minutes to read

Though it makes more financial and emotional sense, Beck Vass wanted to do it herself.

I'm generally just sick of every single noise I hear because it's someone needing something from me. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why NZ's summer school holidays need to be shorter

22 Jan, 2020 8:39am
4 minutes to read

Are you ready to send your little treasures back to school? Beck Vass definitely is.

Beck Vass explains why she felt patronised at her baby's first dental visit. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My run in with a patronising Tauranga dental nurse

21 Jan, 2020 8:35am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass reveals the trials and tribulations of her baby's first dental visit.

LIFESTYLE

Are Kiwi husbands holiday helpers or a hindrance?

14 Jan, 2020 7:00am
4 minutes to read

From long showers to sporadic lawn mowing, Beck Vass is baffled by her husband's "help".

Going away with kids really just adds an extra dimension of stress. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi holiday confusion and a Scorched Almond conundrum

8 Jan, 2020 8:40am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass has spent her summer holidays identifying some uniquely Kiwi issues.

When I shared my caught-in-the-nude moment with friends, several had similar stories. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

When Kiwi mums get caught in the nude

24 Dec, 2019 9:00am
3 minutes to read

When I shared my caught-in-the-nude moment with friends, several had similar stories.

Kids are like sharks, they smell the booze on you and make you suffer as much as possible. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Inside the hungover Kiwi mums club

22 Dec, 2019 10:16pm
4 minutes to read

Kids are like sharks, they smell the booze on you and make you suffer as much as possible.

Why do we insist on making our crying kids sit on a creepy looking, old man's lap? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why I refuse to take my kids to meet Santa

16 Dec, 2019 1:04pm
3 minutes to read

Why do we insist on making our crying kids sit on a creepy looking, old man's lap?

Despite all my efforts, my kids don't listen, they don't respect anyone or anything, writes Beck Vass.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: It's Christmas and I'm failing as a mum

10 Dec, 2019 2:45pm
4 minutes to read

Despite all my efforts, my kids don't listen, they don't respect anyone or anything.

The older two are good with the tree but the rather heavy 1-year-old wants to eat it and smash everything on it. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Why Christmas trees and babies don't mix

3 Dec, 2019 11:00am
3 minutes to read

It's only a matter of time before there's tinsel in his number twos.

The presents my three kids have been given that seem to stand the test of time. Photo / 123F

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi mum's list of Christmas gifts that aren't total junk

25 Nov, 2019 2:17pm
6 minutes to read

Looking for gifts that stand the test of time - and won't drive you nuts too?

Now the trip is closing in on me and anxiety has set in. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Dirty old parental guilt at its finest

29 Oct, 2019 7:12am
3 minutes to read

No one should feel guilty about doing this but all of us do, writes Beck Vass.

It was in the first maze where the battles began. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My children think empathy is for losers

22 Oct, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

I worry about the impact my daughter is going to have on this poor innocent world.

But who am I to decide what a man I don't know needs? Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

A lesson from the homeless man at my local bakery

15 Oct, 2019 7:27am
3 minutes to read

Was I wrong to listen to the bakery owners when I tried to give a homeless man money?

Friends have said their online shopping has been life-changing, so I thought I'd get in on the action. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My online supermarket shopping meltdown

8 Oct, 2019 8:09am
4 minutes to read

All her friends were doing it. But Beck Vass only wasted time with this supermarket app.

In my entire life as a school mum, l have never been so embarrassed. Photo / 123rf

LIFESTYLE

What happened when my 7yo drew genitals at school

1 Oct, 2019 9:23am
4 minutes to read

In my entire life as a school mum, l have never been so embarrassed.

It has happened with each of my children at this exact point, writes Beck Vass. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Does every mother get this on their hands?

17 Sep, 2019 7:28am
3 minutes to read

Everyone suggests a cream that's supposedly cured someone they know.

Some doctors' practices and schools have released information to families under their care - others have received nothing at all. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

Measles outbreak: Why are we being given mixed messages?

11 Sep, 2019 7:54am
4 minutes to read

Are you confused about what your doctor's advised about measles? Beck Vass is.

At about 5pm, right when I would have been watching Elsa and Minnie Mouse, I left my husband with the two ratbags and the baby. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I broke my kids' hearts over Disney on Ice

3 Sep, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

"My son cried. I felt bad but not bad enough," writes Beck Vass.

The final straw came at 5am the other morning. Then the toys disappeared... Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

The toy you should not buy your kids

27 Aug, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

This toy had been in our lives just five minutes and I already hated it.

Every day for the last two weeks I have told myself I will sort the piles of washing. But I don't. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why I've stopped cleaning my house

20 Aug, 2019 7:28am
4 minutes to read

Every day for the last two weeks I have told myself I will sort it. But I don't.

If you ask me, the country's outrage is what is misplaced, writes Beck Vass. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Unhelpful words in alcohol death of tiny baby girl

9 Aug, 2019 5:23pm
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass on the "gross discrepancy" in comments around recent deaths of Kiwi kids.

No one needs to hear you hacking up snot and then re-swallowing it. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Dirty habits spreading winter bugs

30 Jul, 2019 7:26am
3 minutes to read

Coughing, sneezing, hacking, snotting - Beck Vass says people are un-necessarily gross.

Even the most safety-conscious kids are prone to unpredictable movements. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Parents need to stop doing this outside schools

23 Jul, 2019 8:00am
3 minutes to read

Your selfish act could result in a serious injury or death, writes Beck Vass.

I don't usually like judging people's parenting decisions but honestly, it's getting a bit ridiculous, writes Beck Vass. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Tauranga playground closed by 'cotton-wool parents'

16 Jul, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Beck Vass is calling out the "over-protective" parents behind the shut down.

When I had my first couple of wines earlier this year - after almost 12 months of no alcohol - I instantly noticed what it did to me. Stock photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi mum: The impact of booze after giving birth

9 Jul, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass shares what happened when she went back to booze after giving birth.

A new poll says that dad shaming is real and it causes some men to back off from parenting. Photo / Getty Images.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: 'Dad-shaming' is bullsh*t

25 Jun, 2019 10:00am
4 minutes to read

Lucky dad's - mum's don't have the luxury of bailing out of parenting their child.

My daughter wants to fart on people and my four-year-old took a

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My kids are turning into deviants

4 Jun, 2019 8:24am
3 minutes to read

My daughter wants to fart on people and my 4-year-old took a "d*** pic" using my phone.

Within a week or two, tiny newborn nappies start looking like g-strings. Photo / Getty Images.

LIFESTYLE

Kiwi mum's guide to having a humongous baby

23 May, 2019 11:10am
4 minutes to read

Within a week or two, tiny newborn nappies start looking like g-strings.

Many of our teachers are working themselves into the ground: they work into their nights, weekends and of course, school

LIFESTYLE

A parent's view on New Zealand's teachers' strikes

21 May, 2019 7:18am
3 minutes to read

What teachers are expected to do for their pay has become untenable, writes Beck Vass.

I know someone will respond to this saying:

LIFESTYLE

My dinner disaster: Slippery chicken and a distracted husband

14 May, 2019 8:34am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass shares her Monday night mealtime meltdown.

Beck Vass discovers Easter eggs just aren't what they used to be. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why Easter was a total let down this year

24 Apr, 2019 7:56am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass asks, is it just me or did Easter sell out early this year?

I don't want to be unfair to the men. Okay, let's be honest: I do want to be unfair to the men. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Are you 'the other parent'?

23 Apr, 2019 7:27am
3 minutes to read

After lying awake battling mental chatter, Beck Vass turned to her husband.

My son is tough. He takes really big knocks and never makes a fuss, but on this occasion he was a mess. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The day I accidentally rubbed salt in my son's wounds

12 Apr, 2019 8:07am
3 minutes to read

Sometimes Mum makes it all better, and sometimes she rubs salt in your wounds - literally.

For many of us, the association of the Crusaders' name with holy wars wasn't known about until three weeks ago. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Re-name the Crusaders? 'Chiefs' and 'Hurricanes' have killed people too

5 Apr, 2019 10:08am
4 minutes to read

"We were all love, inclusiveness and understanding, until it came to our rugby."

Somehow, the planets aligned for me and I was in and out within half an hour, with 16 items and only a short wait at the counter. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

A mum's guide to surviving New Zealand's most hectic sale

8 Mar, 2019 8:06am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass reveals her hacks for surviving a Farmers 50 per cent of kids clothes sale.

I'm sweating and trying to pretend it's all been sweet as getting here, no worries at all. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My most nerve-racking Plunket interview

5 Mar, 2019 7:25am
3 minutes to read

He's going to tell her everything. Even some stuff that isn't true but makes me sound bad.

Mortified and mulling over my options, I then got a glimpse ahead. It was the child in front. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

'It smelled like Satan': Nappy change nightmare on NZ flight

26 Feb, 2019 7:20am
3 minutes to read

I don't know what that kid had eaten but it smelled like Satan made it.

Sobbing, with snot streaming down his face, he said sadly, as if no one in the world understood his pain (which they didn't):

LIFESTYLE

Why is my 3-year-old eating more than me?

19 Feb, 2019 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass is struggling with a "hangry" little monster. And fears it's about to get worse.

As always, there are the usual reactions from others who seem to think that anyone who speaks of enjoying some time to themselves is a bad mum. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The guilty joy of sending kids back to school

12 Feb, 2019 8:04am
3 minutes to read

Wanting to enjoy some time to yourself doesn't make you a bad mum.

Sack races don't always end well, as Beck Vass found out. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What Kiwi mums need to know about sack races

5 Feb, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

And the other kids games than can cause serious injuries for adults.

When I went to kiss our boy for the first time, his face was so little it felt like I was about to eat his nose. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The things you'll forget about having a baby

29 Jan, 2019 8:08am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass has six reminders of the little things you've likely forgotten about your kids.

The tourists accused of bad behaviour leaving their Hamilton accommodation Photo / Christine Cornege

LIFESTYLE

This family makes me feel better about my parenting

22 Jan, 2019 7:00am
3 minutes to read

For all her family frustrations this summer, one saga has made Back Vass feel much better.

I've had three babies and tried breastfeeding unsuccessfully each time due to a lack of supply. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why formula was best for my babies

15 Jan, 2019 8:24am
3 minutes to read

There's a phrase you're bombarded with before you even start looking for information.

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: Why New Zealand's summer school holidays need to be shorter

13 Jan, 2019 4:18pm
4 minutes to read

The struggle is real, and this Kiwi mum just summed it up perfectly — who can relate?

Women have been tricked into buying into this bullsh*t in a way that men have not. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The New Year's resolution all women should make

2 Jan, 2019 7:55am
4 minutes to read

Why you shouldn't buy undies to smooth out your undies - and other ridiculous products.

I'd had questions I wanted to ask but didn't get to ask them. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My disgraceful doctor's visit at Tauranga Hospital

1 Jan, 2019 8:27am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass hoped her appointment would go smoothly. It didn't. Here's why.

It's not easy being a Kiwi mum over Christmas. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

A Kiwi mum's hilarious ode to Christmas

26 Dec, 2018 7:33am
3 minutes to read

Christmas was far from perfect for one Kiwi mum.

I yelled at the kids for not listening (because, of course, yelling is always the best way to get kids to listen), burst into tears and had to unblock the vacuum four times. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

Why you should never build kitset furniture in front of your kids

25 Dec, 2018 1:00pm
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: I wanted to be Cool Mum and let the kids help. What a mistake that was.

For some kids and families, I am sure this isn't a problem. But for us, it is. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: I took away the TV, now the kids are happier

4 Dec, 2018 12:07pm
3 minutes to read

Could that thing you think is making raising kids easier actually be making it harder?

He did one of those silent screams that kids only do when they are in a lot of pain. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

My baby nearly fainted from the pain of his vaccinations

27 Nov, 2018 7:00am
4 minutes to read

Beck Vass: Vaccinating your baby is one of the first times you feel parental guilt.

After two reasonably uneventful, regular births, I was almost looking forward to being able to experience birth both ways and share this with people. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

The truth about c-sections versus natural births

20 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

After two natural births, Beck Vass thought she was on easy street with a c-section.

Sure, not all teachers are as awesome as Mrs Reid. But there will be even less who are if we don't look after them. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: My daughter's teacher has 10 jobs

12 Nov, 2018 7:09am
4 minutes to read

Better pay for teachers is an expensive problem to fix. But what will it cost if we don't?

Life's too short to stress about separating loads of laundry into whites and colours, says Beck Vass. Photo / 123RF

LIFESTYLE

My c-section complication changed my life - for the better

6 Nov, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

It took being shattered after a c-section birth to upend Beck Vass' outlook on life.

What if I'm so drugged up after my c-section I agree to calling my kid something awful? Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Why I'm concerned my baby will be named 'Slayer'

19 Oct, 2018 7:00am
3 minutes to read

As Beck Vass gives births, she worries she'll come out with a little "Slayer". Here's why.

My husband keeps leaving the bath mat on the floor. Bending over to pick it up after he's gone to work feels like a marathon. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: The worst stage of pregnancy

1 Oct, 2018 11:20am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Think the first trimester is tough? Beck Vass has news for you.

A few days ago, I signed the surgical consent forms in which I was informed of all the worst-case scenarios. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

I'm not having a natural birth and I'm terrified

24 Sep, 2018 7:55am
3 minutes to read

COMMENT: Beck Vass has two choices: Sign the forms or die.

I am on edge, irritable, anxious, vulnerable. I forgot how small they are. I don't know if I can do this. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

What really goes on inside the mind of a pregnant woman

17 Sep, 2018 7:56am
3 minutes to read

"Panic. I can't do this." Beck Vass, due to give birth next month, reveals her fears.

To every pregnant woman I've ever spoken to, I'm sorry for any offence caused! No one should comment on a pregnant woman's appearance. Photo / Getty Images

LIFESTYLE

Beck Vass: What not to say to a pregnant woman

3 Sep, 2018 8:56am
3 minutes to read

Comment: Don't be the reason a pregnant woman is left crying into a packet of Tim Tams.

LIFESTYLE

School cross country: Kids shouldn't have a choice

27 Aug, 2018 7:20am
3 minutes to read

Beck Vass: How is stopping non-athletic kids from participating helping anyone?

He's the loved one that everyone who has lost someone to suicide knows, and that heartache just washes over you every time you hear about another one. Photo / Supplied

LIFESTYLE

The real reason Greg Boyed's death hurts so many Kiwis

24 Aug, 2018 9:34am
4 minutes to read

COMMENT: I've had a friend stolen like this. In NZ it's rare to find anyone who hasn't.