NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Lifestyle

Ashleigh Young on how to cope with now

10 Jan, 2020 06:00 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

A pop of neon, as seen at Paris Fashion Week - Womenswear Spring Summer 2020. Photo / Getty Images

A pop of neon, as seen at Paris Fashion Week - Womenswear Spring Summer 2020. Photo / Getty Images

Asheigh Young on 'Nowness'.

A man has just eaten a $120,000 banana that was duct-taped to a wall in an art gallery in Miami. The Apostrophe Protection Society has closed down. Harry Styles is rocking a beautiful gown. On the map of the UK's general election results, former mining communities that voted Labour for decades have turned blue. I've been waiting, slack-jawed, for the year to become less overwhelming but I have finally accepted that it will not. As I write this, in December 2019, thousands of fish that look exactly like 10-inch penises have washed up on a beach in Northern California.

At the risk of sounding like Trump, the present moment feels very big right now. And how can it not? All around us are precipices – political, environmental, social – even as there exist so many distractions to fragment our attention into the future and the past. Part of the overwhelm is to do with the difficulty of sifting what's really important from what's not. This overgrown Now insists on its importance – all of it! – and when I focus on it at the expense of past and future I become anxious. It's like standing on a beach, watching waves of penis fish roll in and pile up at your ankles. There is just so much of it, too much to follow the old wisdom to "live in the moment". I also think about how much of the Now we cannot yet see. It's only in the future that the present will fully reveal itself, like a camera dipping under the surface and showing us the shark who owns the fin.

Each of us has rituals to bear the Now more easily. Good ones include having a cup of tea, patting a cat, listening to music – experiences that are fully realised in the moment but that you can do again and again. These are the Nows I like best; the small ones. But also, and hear me out, one of my rituals is to study What's Hot/What's Not lists. These lists offer a map to anyone seeking a path through a tiny corner of Now – the corner of trends. At one level, I want to know what it is that makes something desirable and another thing suddenly wrong and hideous. (Although, in fashion at least, the answer is always, "We need to sell all this new stuff we made.") At another level, I want to know what defines the present moment, no matter how arbitrary. It's nice to know for sure that, for a few seconds, big weddings, ponderous soundtracks, radical candour in the workplace, and boiler suits are no longer good and should be burned to the ground and the earth upon which they stood salted.

I'm not interested in actually carrying out any of the recommendations on Hot/Not lists, and nor should you be. Bike shorts are over, but you will peel them from my cold, dead legs. And many of the Hots would confuse my friends and family. I won't be sticking googly eyes around my actual eyes this summer. I won't be applying "pops of neon". Just as a general pointer, the verb "pop" recurs frequently in these lists, so if you really want to be hot, you want something that pops. You want your eyes to pop. Your emails should pop and your meals, your politics, your children. Anything can be made to pop if you are hot enough. But listen – you don't need to do any of this. Just be aware of the popping. It's the awareness that pops.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Trends are the Nowest of the Now, brief and bright and fragile. Their coming and going reminds me that things pass and what a relief that can be. Last week I was sitting in a waiting room and I picked up a lifestyle magazine to see what trends were going on in people's houses. A married couple had their "European-style" house featured. The house was gigantic, heaving with paintings and gold fixtures and shining floors and tassels, tassels, everywhere. The trend here was to be very rich and have a very large ugly house and to stand joylessly inside it, like mosquitoes stuck in amber. Maybe this will never go out of fashion. But I like to think that one day, it too will pass – just as waves eventually carry what they bestowed on land back out to sea. And I think this is a more human way to think about the present. When we can feel it reaching into the past and ahead into the future, we can see what brought us here, what's really important, and what will move us forward. Affordable housing for everyone in 2020!
Next week: Steve Braunias

Discover more

Lifestyle

2019 explained: what did it all mean and what happened?

20 Dec 05:00 PM
Lifestyle

Steve Braunias: Why intermediate school years are the best

06 Dec 04:00 PM
Opinion

Steve Braunias: Ominous shadow cast on the start of a new year

02 Jan 04:00 PM
Lifestyle

Kiwi holiday confusion and a Scorched Almond conundrum

07 Jan 07:40 PM
Save

    Share this article

    Reminder, this is a Premium article and requires a subscription to read.

Latest from Lifestyle

Travel

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

19 Jun 06:00 AM
New Zealand

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

19 Jun 04:00 AM
Premium
Lifestyle

The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

19 Jun 12:00 AM

Help for those helping hardest-hit

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Lifestyle

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

Hate skiing? Try these snow-free winter adventures in NZ instead

19 Jun 06:00 AM

If you need a break from the slopes or don’t fancy a ski, there’s still a lot to do this.

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

What you need to know for the Matariki long weekend

19 Jun 04:00 AM
Premium
The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

The 39 definitive rules of office fashion

19 Jun 12:00 AM
The three tools leading the charge in arthritis pain relief

The three tools leading the charge in arthritis pain relief

18 Jun 11:12 PM
Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi
sponsored

Inside Leigh Hart’s bonkers quest to hand-deliver a SnackaChangi chip to every Kiwi

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP