S – Set Realistic Expectations
The “perfect Christmas” is unattainable, fuelled by movies, social media, and our high expectations. Trying to achieve a fantasy Christmas compared to a “real” Christmas can lead to unnecessary stress and disappointment. Instead, focus on what truly matters: connection, kindness, and shared experiences. This can be done by:
- Preparing one special meal or treat instead of an elaborate spread.
- Choosing simple, heartfelt gifts like homemade or experience-based presents such as a family game night. Op shops are great for finding little treats.
- Not everything needs to be resolved or perfect when disagreements arise. Sometimes, accepting imperfections in others and ourselves can ease tension.
A – Arrange a Family Schedule
For families, Christmas often disrupts regular routines. Kids are out of school, parents may be balancing work and festive tasks, and everyone’s sleep schedule can be thrown off. Creating a predictable holiday schedule, with the right rest, nutrition and activity, can help maintain stability and reduce stress.
Consider including:
- Morning movement: Start the day with shared activities like a family breakfast or a walk.
- Daily quiet time: Involve kids by giving them age-appropriate jobs. Incorporate periods for rest or independent play to prevent overstimulation and give you time to do adult jobs.
- Evening wind-downs: Stick to regular bedtime routines such as a warm bath, reading a story, or reflecting on the day’s highlights. This ensures that everyone gets enough rest.
N – Navigate Stress with Chill-Out Techniques
Quick and effective stress management techniques are invaluable when holiday pressure builds. These are fast, accessible ways to calm your nervous system, reset your focus and ground yourself in the present.
One simple but effective technique is 478 breathing:
- Sit or stand comfortably and place a hand on your belly.
- Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4, letting your belly expand, and hold for 7 seconds.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of 8. Repeat this for a minute or two when you feel overwhelmed.
Another in-the-moment technique is progressive muscle relaxation. Focus, then tense and release muscle groups to relieve physical tension.
T – Take Time Back and Set Boundaries
Recognising your limits and being comfortable saying “no” can prevent taking on too much. Healthy boundaries are a form of self-care, and managing your energy gives you more to give to the moments that truly matter.
- Politely decline events that don’t align with your energy levels or values.
- Set boundaries around spending, such as agreeing on gift limits.
- Practice assertive communication with statements like, “I’d love to help, but I’m unable to right now.”
A – Allow Time for Yourself
The Christmas period often revolves around giving, but taking care of yourself is crucial, too. Scheduling short “you” time breaks can recharge your energy. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish.
- Take a mindful walk in nature, bush, beach, or the back garden.
- Remember to eat healthy foods and have rest days from drinking.
- Spending 10 minutes journaling your frustrations, reflecting on what you’re grateful for or planning for the next few days.
- Listen to your favourite music, podcast, or read to recharge rather than device time.
By prioritising your wellbeing, you’re also setting an example for others about the importance of self-care.
Dr Chris Garrod is a consultant clinical psychologist and is the clinical lead of Navigate Psychology. Dr Garrod has previously worked for the Ministry of Education as the practice advisor for Te Kahu Toi: Intensive Wraparound Service and now practices as a consultant clinical psychologist in Forensic Services in Te Whatu Ora: Health NZ, as well as previously being a clinical lead.
Lucy Slight is a beauty and lifestyle columnist for the Herald. She has worked in print and digital publishing for the past 17 years in New Zealand and Australia, across several well-known fashion, beauty, entertainment, food and home titles. She regularly shares advice for parents, including the best child-friendly sunscreens, why all kids should be using gentle bath products and parenting lessons learned first-hand.
