2019 explained: what did it all mean and what happened?

Ruth Spencer puts the world's most puzzling aspects of 2019 together so you don't have to.

What did it all mean? As the decade turns to a close, Ruth Spencer reflects on the year of boomers, wokeness and forest bathing

2019. It's the year that never seems to end. The Tide Pod excitement of January – was it only January? - is a distant memory. We're sluggishly approaching the turn of the decade and a new Roaring 20s that promises both the decadence and breadlines of the original. Let's look back fondly on a year that had everything - if you're not fussy about what sort of everything you get.

Ok boomer
A dismissive response to what Gen Z perceives as the lecturing, pompous tone of baby boomers. It's an acknowledgement that no argument will get through to a generation certain it has nothing to learn from its young, except possibly how to work the printer.

Plant-based everything (including plants)
Before this year, Mother-in-law's tongue was something we'd complain to the coffee group about. Now it's one of the most popular houseplants, at a time when house plants are enjoying the kind of gushing fandom usually reserved for Harry Potter. Plants have become surrogate pets for Generation Rent, who typically aren't allowed animals. But it's not just our sweet potted friends having a moment: it turns out succulents are succulent. The plant-based Impossible and Beyond Burgers are getting a lot of good press, and the prize for best faux-meat name goes to Kellogg for "incogmeato".

Caroline Calloway
Caroline Calloway is a person, sort of. If you were one of her genuine followers on Instagram (not one of the tens of thousands she bought to get things rolling, that is) you'd know her as a witty, pretty adventurer with a fascinating troubled side. Her ghostwriter, Natalie, has a different take. Ghostwriting is a miserable career for those who seek their own fame but Natalie has turned things around selling the "true" story of their toxic friendship to magazines and, incomprehensibly, Hollywood. In turn, Calloway ran a bizarre festival celebrating herself. Participants demanded refunds because they didn't get the orchid crowns they were promised. No, honestly. The whole drama is either a deeply important commentary on online identity and social politics or a spat between a couple of superficial brats. Or - just possibly - a brilliant scam they've planned from the beginning, the greatest social satire ever hashtagged.

Forest bathing - the natural way to unwind in 2019.

Forest bathing
Shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing, is a fancy name for going into the woods without tramping boots, a dog or your Instagram filter presets. In a dappled glade, your fingers trail in a chattering brook, a mild breeze caressing your face as you commune with nature. It's supposed to be good for you and it probably is, as long as you've got an emergency locator beacon and sandfly repellent.

Orange wine
If you thought "aperitifs" meant two robbers, you're not alone, although you will be if you try to retell that joke. You could also be forgiven for confusing trendy orange aperitifs like Aperol with orange wine. In fact, orange wine is the new rosé. It's made by leaving white grape skins in the mix for fermentation, so it's is more tannic and savoury than white wine. And it's pretty! Orange you glad you have new wine to try? Don't tell that joke either.

TikTok
Those over 30 spent much of the year puzzled at how much they were hearing about Ke$ha's seminal 2009 hit again, but it turned out TikTok wasn't a song but a social media platform. TikTok fills the space left by the deeply mourned Vine app, letting its users make and share short videos. Mostly skits and lip-syncing, they're typically silly and funny. At 1.5 billion downloads, beating Facebook and Instagram, that's a lot of silly fun.

Brown paper supermarket bags
In the year 2119 our rulers will be those whose ancestors hoarded plastic supermarket bags in the Great Bag Cataclysm of 2019. Their flag is a stickman on a yellow ground, and the phrase "single use" is a crime. But for now, brown paper!
Pro: they make all your shopping look like a rustically wrapped gift
Cons: they look eco-friendly but they take a lot of resources to produce
Pro: they break down quickly in landfill
Con: they break down quickly on the way to the car, thanks to your sweaty milk bottle
Pro: they're only 20c and you can use them to rustically wrap gifts
Con: the words "sweaty milk" are now in your head.

Lime scooters were quite the thing but have now disappeared from Auckland's streets. Photo / Michael Craig

Lime scooters
We've got a bit sour on Limes. The DINK DINK DINK of someone taking one without paying has become the soundtrack to our lives. If we walk, they're silent torpedoes of death lurking around every corner. If we drive, they're red-light lemmings, flinging themselves into our path, helmetless, into oblivion. Nothing with a fun name like "scooter" should be this dangerous. Careering Murderboard, yes. Skateboard of Eternal Night, okay. Destructowheels. But not "scooter".

Wokeness
It gets a bad rap, because it sanctimoniously implies everyone else is ideologically asleep. But let's face it, humans have a tendency to ignore things that don't fit into our experience. Wokeness is basically accepting that we don't understand what it's like to be a minority unless we are one. Many people object to admitting to the advantages they've benefited from in life (popularly known as privilege). Those people have already stopped reading this to write grumpy emails, including at least one of the following: Snowflake, SJW, PC gone mad. Sounds pretty dozy, to be honest.

Occult
2019 is the age of the Baby Witch. In online groups, spells for successful job interviews and banishing ex-boyfriends are traded. Occult-Lite is attractive: it offers the illusion of control in a chaotic world, and the accoutrements are so pretty. Candles, crystals, kawaii tarot, and the flattering sense that the universe cares about how your day is going. Except when Mercury's in retrograde, of course.

And I Oop
Translation: oh my gosh! It's the meme-based language of the VSCO girls, a sub-culture that wears hair scrunchies and ugly shoes. Don't be too quick to dismiss the trends of young women – it's girls who coin and disseminate slang. They made you text LOL and they'll make your nana text "sksksksksk" by this time next year.