Shot actor: Why I lunged at police

Rob Mokoraka says his battle with depression was difficult. Photo / Supplied

The actor shot by police after allegedly rushing at them with a weapon has spoken publicly for the first time since the incident, revealing that a battle with depression sparked the near-tragedy.

Rob Mokaraka is on bail, recuperating with family in Northland. He faces up to seven years in prison after the incident in Pt Chevalier, Auckland, in July.

Police say he engineered his own shooting, by dialling 111 to warn of an agitated man. When officers arrived at his property, he lunged at them with a meat cleaver and a bundle of knives hidden beneath a blanket. He was shot in the chest by officers.

Speaking to the Herald on Sunday, Mokaraka dispelled theories the incident was ignited by a custody battle, or a perceived lack of work as an actor.

He said such reports were a "low blow" and had upset his ex-partner. Mokaraka - who is due to reappear in court on Wednesday - said he had found a battle with depression difficult. "My depression takes me to dark places," he said. "I agree depression should be talked about to give others an understanding."

He said the emotional scars were "being dealt with quite quickly, quicker than the physical wounds.

"I am not saying it has stopped but it's an ongoing process."

He has been out of hospital for about two weeks. "I am still healing from physical wounds and internal wounds ... they are still there. The body is in charge at the moment."

He is with family, and has access to his child. "I have a lot of nieces and nephews around me here ... I am just having some nice family time."

In August, one of Mokaraka's friends, Pita Turei, told the Herald on Sunday that Mokaraka's apparent desire to commit suicide by having police shoot him needed to be discussed, considering the high rate of violent suicide among Maori men.

"We have a number of suicide pacts and copycat suicides. If there is one suicide, others will follow. So in a way Rob has lifted the bar here - he's invented a new form of suicide by police firing squad.

"We do need to accept there are two victims here. One of the victims is the policeman and the other victim is the person who was shot by the policeman.

"None of them can walk away from this experience without some baggage."

Mokaraka said family and friends had rallied behind him since the incident. "There is so much love coming from all over the place. I cannot help but be buoyed by that."

The 36-year-old faces charges of possession of an offensive weapon, assault with a weapon, threatening to kill and possession of an imitation firearm to resist arrest. The charges carry a maximum prison term of seven years.

An actor for 13 years, Mokaraka has appeared in many film, television and theatre roles. Shortly before the incident, he had performed to sell-out audiences in London with his play Strange Resting Places, a drama/comedy about the 28th Maori Battalion, set in Monte Cassino.

Mokaraka is also a scriptwriter and is about to start work on a new TV soap series called Waimarie. "It's going to be really good, hopefully," he said.

In August, Mokaraka's father, Andy, was confident his son would come through the ordeal. He said his son was in good spirits, all things considered. "All he wants to do now is get better, get out of bed and get back to work. Yup, he's talking away, but it's hard to talk sometimes because of the pain."

* Signs of depression

Depression is one of the most common forms of mental illness. In New Zealand, one in five women and one in 10 men will experience depression at some point in their lives.

* Key signs

Constantly feeling down or hopeless

Having little interest or pleasure in doing things you used to enjoy

Irritability, restlessness and feeling tired, or general loss of energy

Feelings of emptiness or loneliness

No longer interested in favourite activities

Sleep problems - too much, or too little

Weight loss or gain

Low self-esteem

Problems with concentration

Reduced sex drive

Thinking about death a lot

Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 - www.depression.org.nz