Why dying on stage was the best thing for Dai Henwood's career

Comedian Dai Henwood. Photo / Jason Oxenham

As told to Paul Little.

In 2002 I won the Billy T Award, which gave me the impetus to become a professional comedian. I used the money I won to set myself up, and the next year chose to do the Melbourne and Edinburgh comedy festivals, which are the two biggest in the world.

I thought it would be easier to dip my toes in first in Melbourne, but I had a venue change that put me on the outskirts of the city where it was a struggle to get audiences. I was doing a character show with a wrestler character called P-Funk Chainsaw — it was pretty left-field and I struggled.

I came back to New Zealand feeling quite deflated but still thought I'd go to Edinburgh, which was a big investment. But I had some money of my own and my parents helped me too.

The producer was a well-renowned Edinburgh character called Guy Masterson and my first night was sold out, with 100 in the crowd. I was amazed. I got a standing ovation from a handful of people and thought I was on a winner.

But the venue wasn't suited to a young left-field guy. The next night, there were 30 people and after 12 minutes 28 of them walked out. So I broke out of my character and asked the two people why they were still there.

"Is your mother Carolyn Henwood?" said one.

"Yes."

"I think I went to school with her," he said. "Well, good luck with your season." And he got up and left. And it turned out the other person was a friend of the lighting guy who was waiting for the show to finish so they could have a beer. So we all went and had a beer.

At the same time, I was living with Flight of the Conchords, who were old friends from Wellington. That year they moved from being the comedians' comedians to getting the huge mainstream audiences which sent them on a trajectory into outer space.

I remember once I was sitting on my bed crying, saying: "I'm all the way over here and just cancelling shows and watching the money disappear." Bret McKenzie talked me through it, and gave me belief in my comedy. It was a very kind thing to do, which has stayed with me to this day.

It was one of those moments in life where you decide what you're doing. For some reason even though I'd had the worst two festival runs, I knew there was something there and it was what I needed to do.

I came back to New Zealand and it made me work harder. I knew I could get laughs but I needed to find out how. I changed my angle and what sort of stand-up I was doing. A couple of years later I was invited to the Just for Laughs [festival] in Montreal and that was a huge success.

I think back often to that moment with Bret telling me to have faith in myself.

And the whole experience was the perfect example of how you're either a stand-up or you're not. I had that bug and stand-up had a hold over me. Instead of doing something sensible, I kept going.

Dai Henwood is the host of All Star Family Feud, Monday, 7.30pm on Three.