Seems like the kind of thing I'd be into, so off I surfed to check it out. But on the way down the A-Z list I got distracted by another intriguing title, one which didn't feature in the email TVNZ sent out. The fact that this title was intriguing to me at all probably speaks volumes about what a complete moron I am.
The title was Man Vs Fly.
Each episode of Man Vs Fly sees someone from a different occupation enter something called the FlyDome: a white padded cell with one glass wall, sort of like a squash court. A single fly is then released into the enclosure, and contestants have one minute to kill it with the weapon of their choice.
The whole sorry scene is presented like a parody of the serious tone instantly familiar to anyone who has ever watched a televised sporting event. There are pre-match profiles of both the man and the fly, and the action is described by a pair of deadbeat, idiotic commentators: one Englishman and one Australian.
The first episode I watched was listed as 'Diver And Fish'. A man in a wetsuit, snorkel and flippers, armed with a dead sea bass, versus a 12-day-old fly called The Right Reverend His Grace Matthew Skidwell.
"I don't like his footwork," the Australian commentator noted right away as the diver stomped clumsily around the FlyDome in his flippers. "I don't like it at all." More troubling than his footwork, the diver appeared to be having trouble seeing the fly at all through his goggles.
Finally the fly settled on the glass, giving him a clear shot. He swung the sea bass but somehow the fly buzzed free. "Too close and too slow," the Aussie commentator complained. "The fly saw that coming and he sucked him into the move ... I like this fly a lot."
Next swing he dropped the fish cold. "This is just a farce ... this fly seems to be mocking him." The klaxon sounded to signal the end of the bout, and the fly emerged victorious. "You don't get to be 12 days old without learning a trick or two."
At an average episode length of 3-and-a-half minutes, Man Vs Fly is the very definition of 'snackable content'. Immediately I gobbled up another piece.
In this one, darts legend Bobby George took to the FlyDome armed with a fistful of tungsten. He was confined to a square in the centre of the box and from there had to hit the fly with one of his darts.
"It ain't gonna settle," he kept muttering as he shuffled around in circles. "He's saying the fly's not going to settle - it will mate," reassured the commentator, "they always do." With his fourth throw, somehow, the 'King of Bling' Bobby George nailed it. The throw was so quick and precise that the camera didn't even get a clear shot.
Already there are 17 episodes available, with the promise of three more to be added every Friday. There's one with a cyclist where the fly is inexplicably "off his guts" on LSD, illustrated by some tripped-out psychedelic point-of-view shots. There's one with a burlesque dancer, which is probably not safe for work. There's a dwarf, a dominatrix, a Buddhist monk.
If, like me, you find yourself too cynical for WWE but too squeamish for MMA, then Man Vs Fly could be the fight sport for you. It's an extremely simple - and staggeringly stupid - idea, executed surprisingly well. Possibly, it's the future of television.
