When you were a teenager, if someone told you that you'd become an Oscar-nominated, Golden Globe-winning actor, would you have believed them?
As a teenager, I wouldn't have believed them. As a 30-year-old, I wouldn't have believed them.
Did you have any specific acting goals once you decided to pursue this profession?
When I decided to be an actor, I thought, "If I can make a living, that is it. If I can get married and support a family and maybe get my kids through college, boom, I am happy as a clam." That's all I wanted. I never had any aspirations for anything more. Truly.
What is your advice for aspiring actors?
I remember doing a Q and A a few years ago for Foxcatcher, and this kid stood up and he couldn't have been older than 11 or 12, very precocious. I thought, "What is this kid doing here watching Foxcatcher at 10.30 at night?" And he said, "I am an actor/director/writer/producer. And I just want to know, how can I become a star?" I didn't say anything because everyone was so enchanted by the gumption of this kid. It was pretty funny and cute but at the same time I wanted to say, "Well first of all, go home and get a good night's sleep and go to school in the morning." But I said, "Get some life experience, don't worry about being an actor, just absorb the world around you."
How do you feel about being a star?
The whole idea of "I want to be a star" is so misguided. If you want to be an actor, go for it, I would give you all sorts of advice. If you want to be a star, that's such an elusive, crazy thing to wish for. I never allowed myself to wish for it. So this is all a very happy accident.
Your mother died last year. What did you learn about yourself through the grieving process?
I think people deal with grief in different ways. It's part of life, it's not unusual and it's not specific. My wife's father, a wonderful guy who she was very close to, passed away the year before my mum. I watched how my wife grieved and I was astounded by how she dealt with it with such grace and beauty. She allowed herself to grieve but at the same time she celebrated his life. And I thought, "I hope I have the same internal fortitude that she had." To allow it to affect me but at the same time to not lose sight of the fact of what an incredible life this person led.
Looking back on your life, would you say it's been full of surprises?
Definitely. After 40-Year-Old Virgin came out, which I co-wrote (with Judd Apatow), and we got it made, I was like, "This is cool!" And I thought that was probably the end of that. And then I remember getting a call from Universal about the success at the box office and, even at age 40, I was shocked. But I still make my bed and I still weed the garden.
Lowdown
Last Flag Flying is in cinemas April 26
