The Block: Are these the most awful people on television?

Mitch and Brooke are merciless on The Block: Villa Wars.

Dumb, desperate, noisy, competitive, greedy, venal, kind of like seriously really depressing, also thoroughly addictive - The Block: Villa Wars lurches on, and on, ever closer to that happy day when the contestants can disappear from public life. What awful people. Not all of them. In fact, only two of them.

Like a drab, suburban Bonnie and Clyde, Brooke and Mitch have blazed a hostile path through the series, winning four room reveals and stuffing their pockets with cash. Their budget dwarfs the pathetic amount available to the show's two dwarves, Sarah and Minanne. Hayden and Jamie are flat-broke, too, and greeted Brooke and Mitch's win last night with unconcealed loathing. If looks could pick up a Bosch drill and advance towards Brooke and Mitch with serious intent, etc.

A scene from the TV show The Block: Villa Wars.

The source of the ill-feeling towards the horrible couple from Christchurch dates back to a couple of weeks ago when it was revealed they scored the other contestants with big fat zeroes. "We're here to win," said bumptious Brooke. "Yeah," said merciless Mitch.

God almighty. Are they Australians? What lousy sports. They bring shame upon Christchurch, although it may be interesting to speculate whether that city's slow, tormented rebuild is somehow connected to the no-prisoners attitude of Brooke and Mitch. The south will rise again, joylessly.

But you can't count out Auckland couple Hayden and Jamie, or Jeremy and Cat from New Plymouth. Actually, you can count out Auckland couple Hayden and Jamie. They're a lovely couple but his weird fascination with painting everything black has been disastrous. What's all that about? The dude likes to present himself as one of life's great jokers, and he probably fancies himself as a comedian. But the mask keeps slipping. He comes from a dark place. He's trouble. It's just as well he left the police.

A scene from the TV show The Block: Villa Wars.

You can also count out sisters Sarah and Minanne. They're clever and creative, but everyone has it in for them. Is there a subtle, hideous kind of racism at work on the show?

The Block operates as a terrifying comment on the conformity of New Zealand life, and an anti-Asian feeling pervades the show. Something rotten was at play last night when interior decorator and exterior buffoon Jason only gave them a score of 8 for their laundry and stairwell.

"I'm stoked," said Sarah, who didn't look at all stoked.

"Very stoked," said Minanne, who looked as though she wanted to dig a hole in the ground - it wouldn't have to be very big - and crawl into it.

Sarah and Minanne made a simple little masterpiece. Cat and Jeremy forgot to put handles on the doors, and their shelves were crooked. Jason puckered his lips and scored them 8.5.

A scene from the TV show The Block: Villa Wars.

"Creak," croaked Cat. Who can actually bother to make out what she's saying? Her vocal fry means that every word that comes out of her mouth first has to scratch itself against a post in her throat. She needs subtitles, like Martin, the Scottish builder. But both Cat and Jeremy are practical and generous and hard-working. They also have good ideas. It would help if they got around to finishing them in time.

"We'll get there, eh," said Jeremy.

"Croak," creaked Cat.

All of which leaves Brooke and Mitch way out front. They spent up large last night on a wall made from American oak. Sarah and Minanne spent up little on a similar, more stylish feature. Brooke inspected it with a face like a cat's behind. "Without sounding like a dick," she said, sounding like a dick, "ours is going to stand out more."

She was right. It did. They won. As Mark the host said, with something resembling awe, "They've won every room reveal which has a toilet in it!"

It seemed very apt.

- nzherald.co.nz