Imagine there's no privacy, a new British reality show urges us to consider. It's easy if you try: no hell below us, above us only Dad, scrolling through your Instagram account on a special surveillance iPad, losing his temper at all the thirst traps you've been liking.
This is what the kids signed up for on Spying On My Family, the hour-long special that sounded like it was going to be the next step in the convergence of reality television and the dystopian tech nightmare anthology Black Mirror but ended up being an oddly affecting and poignant family drama.
For a week the Kirk family were rigged up with cameras everywhere they went and had their mobile devices tapped so that they could all see exactly what each other were up to. For worryingly immature ex-cop Rob, this meant making a beeline for his sons' Instagram accounts and flipping his absolute lid at the parade of flesh he found in their liked posts.
"I've never seen her before in my life, so how the devil does Ryan know her?" he wondered about some blurred-out bikini-clad temptress. The oldest 37-year-old in the world, Rob had never used Instagram before in his life and didn't have a clue how any of it worked.
"There's a woman on George's who is wearing next-to-nothing," he spluttered. "She don't even live in this country!"
As punishment for being horny on Instagram and to teach them a lesson about respecting women, Rob forced the lads to cook their mum dinner. As he watched them do the shopping and work together to prepare the meal, he was struck with an overwhelming feeling of paternal pride.
Despite his at-times deranged behaviour, Rob turned out to be a complex and ultimately sympathetic character. In one unbearably poignant scene, he hacked into his moody and scornful teenage daughter Chloe's Facebook and just sat there staring at a photo of them fishing together from when she was a little girl.
When he and wife Donna sat down to spy on Chloe at her part-time job as a support worker at a school for children with disabilities, he burst into tears seeing a side to his daughter he'd never seen before. No Queer Eye makeover, Lost and Found reunion or One Born Every Minute birth has ever made me cry my eyes out as much as this.
Flawed and troubling concept aside, Spying On My Family delivers the exact kind of emotional journey you want from a show like this. It seems wild that this was merely a one-off "experiment" – I'd watch it every week if every episode offered moments as decimating as the surprise fishing trip Rob organises in an attempt to reconnect with his daughter.
"I hate fishing," Chloe grumbled as they pulled up at the pond but her face told a different story. So much was happening at the edges of her mouth, struggling and failing to suppress the beginnings of a smile.
Spying On My Family is available at TVNZ On Demand.