Monday, 04 December 2023
KaitaiaWhangareiDargavilleAucklandThamesTaurangaHamiltonWhakataneRotoruaTokoroaTe KuitiTaumarunuiTaupoGisborneNew PlymouthNapierHastingsDannevirkeWhanganuiPalmerston NorthLevinParaparaumuMastertonWellingtonMotuekaNelsonBlenheimWestportReeftonKaikouraGreymouthHokitikaChristchurchAshburtonTimaruWanakaOamaruQueenstownDunedinGoreInvercargill
NZ HeraldThe Northern AdvocateThe Northland AgeThe AucklanderWaikato HeraldBay Of Plenty TimesRotorua Daily PostHawke's Bay TodayWhanganui ChronicleThe Stratford PressManawatu GuardianKapiti NewsHorowhenua ChronicleTe Awamutu CourierVivaEat WellOneRoofDRIVEN Car GuideThe CountryPhoto SalesiHeart RadioRestaurant Hub
Voyager 2023 media awards
Subscribe

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.
Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: September 02: Escape to the offie

Ana Samways
By
Ana Samways
1 Sep, 2015 05:00 PM3 mins to read
Saveshare

Share this article

facebookcopy linktwitterlinkedinredditemail
A run to the bottle store or is it a job that drives you to drink, wonders Marcus.?

A run to the bottle store or is it a job that drives you to drink, wonders Marcus.?

Thrown by sales pitch

"Yesterday my husband and I visited a plant nursery in Cambridge," writes Iris Menzies. "We were looking for a couple of trees to replace ones which had died in our garden. The lady assistant showed us two large specimens which were rather too expensive for us. My husband suggested we buy smaller versions and asked how long before they grew to the same size. The reply blew me away: 'Ten years, but you won't care one way or the other: by then you will probably be in a rest home.' Seeing my shocked expression, she said her sales pitch was buy to enjoy and not leave for the children."

Auckland oxymoron

Wendy writes: "I went on to a real estate website to look at houses for sale. Region? Auckland City. Suburbs? All suburbs. Property type? House. Keyword? Affordable. Result: 'Sorry, we couldn't find any properties that match that criteria.' Well that told me in no uncertain terms!"

Paleo curves

"I'm an archaeologist," writes Janice Adamson. "And I, along with many of my colleagues, take a rather bemused, somewhat frustrated attitude to the prevalence of 'paleo' related dietary advice that doesn't seem to be based upon any sound archaeological or anthropological evidence. Paleo bacon anyone? Seriously? In this vein, I've attached an image of Venus figurines found throughout Europe and produced in the period of the Upper Palaeolithic. They were probably ritualistic objects but clearly show that the curves of a full female form were certainly known about. It would appear that these little ladies hadn't heard of the paleo diet."

Real paleo
Real paleo

Sprightly seniors

In response to motorbike riding senior Steve, who felt the need to point out that seniors "ride motorbikes ... ski, skydive, surf, scuba and do many other challenging and dangerous things", Travis writes: "Perhaps he could explain why these sprightly, active seniors require special carparks close to the entrance of the shopping centre? There may be no limitations on the use of these parks other than being over 65, but surely if you have the good fortune of being in such phenomenal health, you could leave these parks to someone who is not quite so energetic and youthful?"

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

Simple solutions

In Whanganui, Annie used to see garage sales advertised in the papers with the street name (no number), the date, time and words to the effect that there'd be a sign at the gate to indicate the house holding the garage sale. "This, of course, neatly solves the problem of annoying early callers. Brilliantly simple, like all really good ideas," she says.

Flag it

"One of the proposed New Zealand flag options[by Silver Fern (Red, White and Blue) - by Kyle Lockwood] makes an appearance on this packaging for plastic plates," says Guardian journalist and ex-pat kiwi Kate Shuttleworth.

Looaklike flags
Looaklike flags

Picture this: Mum knows best...

Read this: Travel story in the Huffington Post is delighted to discover New Zealand's second island...

Read this: Class action settlement smells fishy...

Video: There are no easy solutions to this economic recession...

Related articles

Entertainment

Anticipation to deflation

23 Aug 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Sideswipe: Paleo or gullible

24 Aug 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Not more bleedin' Minions

25 Aug 05:00 PM
Entertainment

Sideswipe: I heart meat

26 Aug 05:00 PM

Herald app users tap here for today's video.

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.
Saveshare

Share this article

facebookcopy linktwitterlinkedinredditemail

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Entertainment

Entertainment

Cher lost a fortune over one costly mistake

04 Dec 03:20 AM
Entertainment

Inside Casketeers star Francis Tipene's 40th birthday bash

04 Dec 02:25 AM
Entertainment

New doco reveals John Lennon's last words

04 Dec 12:57 AM
Entertainment

Why Eddie Murphy’s Christmas movie was made for Kiwis

03 Dec 10:03 PM

The helper who needed help

sponsored

Advertisement

Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Entertainment

Cher lost a fortune over one costly mistake

Cher lost a fortune over one costly mistake

04 Dec 03:20 AM

Despite her six-decade-long career success, Cher has some major regrets.

Inside Casketeers star Francis Tipene's 40th birthday bash

Inside Casketeers star Francis Tipene's 40th birthday bash

04 Dec 02:25 AM
New doco reveals John Lennon's last words

New doco reveals John Lennon's last words

04 Dec 12:57 AM
Why Eddie Murphy’s Christmas movie was made for Kiwis

Why Eddie Murphy’s Christmas movie was made for Kiwis

03 Dec 10:03 PM
How you can support young families in hospital
sponsored

How you can support young families in hospital

About NZMEHelp & SupportContact UsSubscribe to NZ HeraldHouse Rules
Manage Your Print SubscriptionNZ Herald E-EditionAdvertise with NZMEBook Your AdPrivacy Policy
Terms of UseCompetition Terms & ConditionsSubscriptions Terms & Conditions
© Copyright 2023 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP