Sideswipe: May 4: Knees up! May the fourth be with you

Knees up: These new signs are appearing on footpaths. This one means "stay 2 metres away from anyone with a gammy knee".

A sports shoe dilemma, to be sure

A reader writes: "I am after a broad fitting, running/walking shoe size 11 with a high level of inner support and much cushioning for a fuller figured lard of a man. I have no intention of breaking any land speed records or threatening Usain Bolt's Olympic glory. I just want to be able to make it around the block at a gentle canter in less than a day, without damaging myself or the pavement, or being overtaken by my geriatric neighbour, who's on a Zimmer frame. I have very wide bog Irish feet, ideal for keeping me upright in a pub or brawl, but less suited to lengthy exercise. Any recommendations?"

May Day mayday with mucky manure

"May 1 is a time in Sweden (and other countries) when people congregate in large numbers to celebrate," writes Jill Mandeno. "Lund University normally has thousands gather on one of its fields. To prevent gatherings and to make sure people follow the Government's guidelines for the day, it sprayed 1000kg of chicken manure on the field, and watered it well. This ensured that it smelled so bad that no one trespassed on the field all day and night."

Getting trolleyed for L3

A reader writes: "Getting ready for Level 3, you clear out all the rubbish in your shop/office, 'borrow' a supermarket trolley and fill it with your rubbish and leave the trolley out on the street for someone else to sort out."

Spotted in Newmarket...A reader writes: Getting ready for Level 3, you clear out all the rubbish in your shop/office.

Show raffle fulfils a dream

Like Warren who found a needle in a haystack, David Roughan also has treasured memories of the A&P shows in the Wairarapa in the1950s. "At one of those, I kept coming back to one stand to admire and pat a beautiful short haired black-and-white eye-dog and (by dipping into my earnings as an icecream boy at the Regent Theatre) to take another ticket in the raffle for her. I will never forget the joy of winning that raffle (and the happiness of those manning the stand — and of the generous donor farmer — presenting her to me) and what a team she and I became for the rest of her life."

Pandemic packaging folly

Beryl Martyn of St Johns ordered three printer cartridges from Warehouse Stationery during the lockdown. "Got three separate parcels two weeks apart," she says. "Last one three weeks after ordering. In contrast, got a parcel from Vermont, USA with four items in one parcel 10 days after ordering."