Comedian Maisie Adam (@MaisieAdam) tweeted that a kid she used to know claimed his father had come up with the saying "No way Jose". Her Twitter followers joined in with their own tall tales ...
1. My teacher, when I was about 8, said hewas colour deaf. He made us shout out names of colours and said he couldn't hear us!
2. My granddad told me when I was 5 that I'd bitten his finger off as a baby (ring finger on his left hand only had a stump). It was only when I was 25ish that he confessed it had come off in an accident when he worked in a paper mill in the 60s.
3. When I was younger, my Granddad told me that our whole family are banned from Cyprus because he shot a sacred donkey there when he was in the army. Didn't book to go to Ayia Napa with my pals just in case.
4. I told my son that all new mums are given a manual of rules on leaving hospital, so nothing was up for discussion as I was just following the rules. He's 15 and asked me recently if I still had "that book".
5. An extra on a TV show I worked on told everyone he'd auditioned for Lord of the Rings, and was the fourth choice for Orlando Bloom's role. He was known forever after as Fourth in Line to Legolas.
6. I once worked with a guy who claimed that his dad — his DAD — had invented gingerbread.
7. A lad in my school explained that the reason he was big was due to the fact he was born without lungs, so as a baby they had to transplant him some lungs. However the only ones available used to belong to Hulk Hogan. I had no reason to disbelieve this at the time.
8. My sister convinced me that kidney beans were mouse kidneys. I picked them out of chilli for years.
Discouraged from sitting down
People in Takapuna are being discouraged from sitting down. All the benches in Hurstmere Rd are like this, apparently.
Fun times with dental care
"I had my wisdom teeth out and was still bleeding a good amount on the way to the pharmacy. My mum was driving and I was just staring out the window collecting blood in my mouth. Eventually it reached a point it was too much while at a red light. Rolled down the window and just let it all flow out of my mouth. I looked up and this lady was looking at me in pure horror. I proceeded, still in some sort of haze from the drugs, to give her the bloodiest smile anyone has ever seen. She wasn't originally turning right but proceeded to make an immediate turn."
