"My mother lives in a 55+ community. I lived with her for five months last year so I got to know a lot of the neighbours well. It's a new community so a bunch of people have moved in since I lived there. I moved outof town and I was visiting my mother for a long weekend. While walking my dog I had seen a woman and her dog a few times and was friendly to her, making small talk. One day I ran into a neighbour I knew and she pointed to a house and asked if I had met Dorothy and Squeaks yet. I said I had chatted to her but hadn't officially introduced myself. Later that day I saw the woman and her dog and introduced myself and said, 'and you're Dorothy right?' The lady made an offended face and said 'Dorothy is my dog. My name is Squeaks'. She walked off offended and gave me dirty looks every time we passed."
Get puffing if you want the jab in this state
North Carolina is moving to vaccinate those in Group 4 against Covid-19 beginning on March 24. Group 4 is made up of adults aged 16-64 years old at high risk for exposure and increased risk of severe illness. People experiencing homelessness, and incarcerated people who have not been vaccinated. Seems fair. But also included in this group are smokers (current or former), also seems fair. But to qualify as the latter you must have sucked on at least 100 cigarettes in your lifetime.
1. Amish beards have no moustache because they associate them with the military, and they're pacifists. 2. In the late 19th century, American newspapers often tried to attract readers by promising that "all subscribers paying in advance will be entitled to a first-class obituary notice in case of death". 3. Unlike reality TV, in Vietnam, your doctor must confirm you are mentally sound before you are permitted to get married. 4. In 1971, Eve magazine carried out a survey to find the New Zealand politician with the most sex appeal. The cherubic Robert Muldoon won.
Small embarrassments
"My wife and I had enjoyed a lunch at a vineyard then went into the shop to select some wine to buy," writes Dean. "There was a couple chatting about wine and sampling cheese with the man behind the counter so my wife grabbed a toothpick and tried a sample. The surprised look on the faces of the trio made it abundantly clear that this couple had paid for this wine and cheese tasting platter."