1. When I was really young, like 3 or 5 years old, I thought the vacuum would come to life at night and try to suck out my lungs while I slept. So, I insisted that the vacuum be kept in the basement, locked in a closet,because clearly it couldn't climb two whole flights of stairs.
2. Giraffes. Not because of what you think. I lost a fair amount of hearing due to a complication with my tonsils, so when my dad tucked me in at night and said: "I'll close the window, wouldn't want the draft to get you…" Well, you can assume what I heard.
3. The polo-necked skivvies of the 70s. I was always terrified that I would get stuck in the neck as I was putting it over my head.
4. Moustaches. Being a small child in the 80s was rough, man.
"Roadworks in Taupō CBD," writes a reader. "I had to park and walk to the pub and cafes, but KFC is still accessible."
Turn down the volume
My neighbour, nicknamed Shouty Susan, who goes to the pub every Saturday night and returns around 12.30am, is incapable of getting out of the Uber without shouting her goodbyes loudly to the remaining occupants. Following tonight's goodbyes, I'm sad to report that she won't see Tracey until Tuesday this week as she's on holiday on Monday, not that it's a real holiday as she's away scattering her father's ashes. I'm sure Tracey is delighted that Shouty Susan has shared that with everyone in a 10km radius!
Knee JERK reaction
A reader writes: "To the guy who flipped me the bird when I honked at you - your phone probably isn't on your roof anymore."
