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Home / Entertainment

Sideswipe: January 25: Now that's embarrassing

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
24 Jan, 2022 04:00 PM2 mins to read

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Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

1. "Just been down to Tesco for a sandwich and some chips and the lad at the checkout asked if I wanted to go for a drink. I told him I had a boyfriend and I was flattered but I couldn't. He said: "No, it's part of the meal deal.'"

2. "At university I went to a therapist for the first time and he asked me to tell him about my childhood. I got to 'and then my parents got a divorce' and he nodded, writing in his notebook, and echoed 'your parents got you a horse'. He felt so bad but I couldn't stop laughing for 10 minutes."

3. "I saw a girl carrying a baby guinea pig so I asked if I could pet it but it was actually a muffin so I'm on my way to jump off a cliff now."

4. "In my teens I once brought a muffin back to an unnamed coffee establishment, saying there were glass shards on my muffin. I had never seen sugar crystals on a muffin before. I still cringe."

5. "I was 14 and my friend and I were walking along the street and some pervy-looking middle-aged man tooted his horn at us from a white van, so I gave him the finger. My friend said (you guessed it): 'That's my dad'."

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6. Surgeon: "Did someone fart?" Silence. Surgeon: "I need to know if someone farted. I may have perforated bowel." Med student: "I farted."

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