NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • Deloitte Fast 50
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / Entertainment

Review: Netflix's 'Marriage or Mortgage' is a dumb but sadly real decision

Vera Alves
By Vera Alves
NZ Herald Planning Editor and Herald on Sunday columnist·NZ Herald·
26 Mar, 2021 01:13 AM6 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save
    Share this article
"Marriage or Mortgage" sees a couple decide where to spend their hard-earned savings. Photo / Netflix

"Marriage or Mortgage" sees a couple decide where to spend their hard-earned savings. Photo / Netflix

Review:

Netflix's latest reality TV offering sees couples with up to $35,000 in the bank choosing between spending it on their dream wedding or a house deposit. It sounds like a stupid idea until we realise it really is reality for a lot of young couples.

"Marriage or Mortgage" is not meant to be a depressing show. The couples are in love, they're all very sweet and, no matter what they choose, they'll either end up with a lovely wedding or a beautiful home.

So why oh why does a reality show with the potential for giving out such happy vibes make me feel so damn miserable?

The answer is actually right there in the title. It's that stupid little "or" in there - two little letters that ruin everything.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

It shouldn't be a choice. In an ideal world, people would be able to have a wedding and buy a family home without having to decide between celebrating their love surrounded by loved ones or finding a stable and safe place to start building a life together as a family.

"Marriage or Mortgage" is here to remind us that the real world is not an ideal world and is, in fact, a dystopian hellscape in which there is never any right answer and, no matter what path you take, you'll end up with about zero dollars left in your bank account.

A wedding planner and a real estate agent form the unlikely business combo behind the show, vying for the couple's hard-earned savings.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

me every time a couple drops $30K on a wedding that lasts for one day rather than a deposit on a house #marriageormortgage pic.twitter.com/6rwm2G1Olt

— ︎joe (@jxeker) March 13, 2021

Wedding planner Sarah Miller visits wedding venues with the couple, discusses details over cocktail and cake tastings, knowing exactly what to say to convince those people that they need to dump 30 grand on just one day otherwise they're doing themselves, their families and their love a complete disservice.

Real estate agent Nichole Holmes shows the couple homes they can afford to buy with their deposit, setting them all up so they can picture themselves living there in a de-facto union because they couldn't afford to get married even though they really wanted to.

(And don't get me started on the fact that this is all being filmed just before a big pandemic hits and weddings get cancelled or severely restricted anyway.)

The two women go all out to ensure the couples pick the option that gets them their commission - including engaging in some seriously manipulative emotional blackmail that feels really dodgy sometimes.

Discover more

UFC

Phil Gifford: Why Israel Adesanya deserves a second chance

26 Mar 12:25 AM
Entertainment

Looking Sharp: The most 'controversial' clothing in Hilary Barry's wardrobe

25 Mar 09:14 PM
Media and marketing

Historical fraud and Covid tip NZ's largest Chinese-language media company into liquidation

26 Mar 04:40 AM
Sport|rugby

Patrick McKendry: The confusing Super Rugby moment the cameras missed

24 Mar 11:59 PM

At one point, to convince a couple to buy a house, the real estate agent shows them a kitchen with framed recipes concocted by the woman's dead father, who used to be a chef. And the house includes a room fully decorated for the child they said they'd love to adopt one day - so if that's not pulling at the heartstrings to get them to open the purse strings, then I don't know what is.

But before you go hating on the realtor, let me tell you the wedding planner is no saint either. For the same woman with the dead father, there's a handkerchief with his name embroidered on it, which she can use to wipe off the tears on her big day.

Marriage or Mortgage will dig up your grandma and pose her in the living room and be like “doesn’t this feel like home?” #MarriageOrMortgage

— Elizabeth Di Filippo (@mselizabethr) March 12, 2021

The whole thing is ... it's just mental. I watched the first episode in disbelief that that was actually the premise for the show, stopping halfway to Google that I wasn't somehow misunderstanding it.

Sadly, I wasn't.

It sounds ridiculously dumb to even ask the question - marriage or mortgage? - but then it dawned on me that, actually, that is a question that millennial couples face because, let's face it, who can truly afford both of those things which, in an ideal timeframe, would happen not that far apart from each other? I mean, count yourself lucky if you can save enough for one of those, let alone both.

My anger, I realised, wasn't at the show's premise - but the painful accuracy of it all.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

But I eventually calmed down, turned caps lock off, realised my anger was misguided and remembered that these young people shouldn't have to choose.

Couple: we have 35k for either a house or a wedding

Realtor: k, found your dream home under your budget & the builder will throw in $12k appliance credit

Wedding planner: you’ll have your ranch fountain

Couple: okay we choose Wedding! #MarriageOrMortgage pic.twitter.com/zNBg9RnIn0

— Mariah Berry (@imveryberry) March 14, 2021

The couples are all adorably in love, gushing over how much they want to marry and/or buy a home with each other. It's all very sweet while also slightly apocalyptic as you watch them drown their savings in what you're pretty convinced is the wrong decision. In the end, I just wanted them to have both. I wanted them to have it all. I wanted them to have it now.

It's a dumb show because we live in a dumb world, in a failed system. "Marriage or Mortgage" highlights how hard it is to be a young adult today. Whatever decision each couple made, it meant depleting their savings account completely, and starting over, hoping no great disaster struck in their immediate future, so they could keep on dreaming that they would eventually be able to have the other option too.

Judging everyone who chooses wedding #MarriageOrMortgage pic.twitter.com/8EUh3c0UDP

— Sal (@dionysiandandy) March 11, 2021

While "marriage or mortgage" sounds like a dumb choice, the truly dumb thing is that we live in a society where that even has to be a choice, because people can't afford to celebrate their love and find a safe home to start a family in.

I don't want to enjoy the dystopian capitalist nightmare that is "Marriage or Mortgage". It fills me with millennial dread for all the decisions we have to make that shouldn't even be optional (do I go to the dentist or do I fix my car? Do I eat avocado on toast or do I put money aside for a house deposit? Decisions, decisions) - but it's all so disturbingly accurate that, much like the proverbial train crash, I can't look away.

"Marriage or Mortgage" is currently available to stream on Netflix.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save
    Share this article

Latest from Entertainment

Premium
Entertainment

Sorry, you’ll never be Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoever she really is

Entertainment

Why George Clarke's new TV series is the ultimate showcase for Kiwi architecture

Entertainment

Soprano Olivia Forbes shares her favourite spots in Auckland


Sponsored

Sponsored: What have you missed? Tips and tricks for home DIY

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from Entertainment

Premium
Premium
Sorry, you’ll never be Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoever she really is
Entertainment

Sorry, you’ll never be Gwyneth Paltrow. Whoever she really is

Washington Post: Gwyneth Paltrow's life and Goop empire explored in new biography.

02 Aug 10:00 PM
Why George Clarke's new TV series is the ultimate showcase for Kiwi architecture
Entertainment

Why George Clarke's new TV series is the ultimate showcase for Kiwi architecture

02 Aug 08:00 PM
Soprano Olivia Forbes shares her favourite spots in Auckland
Entertainment

Soprano Olivia Forbes shares her favourite spots in Auckland

02 Aug 05:00 PM


Sponsored: What have you missed? Tips and tricks for home DIY
Sponsored

Sponsored: What have you missed? Tips and tricks for home DIY

31 Jul 04:21 PM
NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP