The worst game of charades ever? Or assembling a Bunnings BBQ? Photo / TVNZ
Opinion:
“I’m back. I’m back and better baby... Lessgo!” - are these the words of Lance Savali returning to Treasure Island, or me returning to recap the show? You’ll never know.
Treasure Island is back, but not as you know it. This season we see mega fans of the show, thrust onto a beautiful Fijian Island for the inaugural season of the show’s new format which sees everyday Kiwis pitted against seasoned Treasure Island celebrities.
It’s giving David v Goliath, if David was really into campfire songs and bad at swimming, and Goliath was an advocate for chia seeds and ice baths.
But with eight fewer celebrities, will the show pack the punch and drama of seasons past? Or will our fans find themselves too caught up in filling their autograph books and watching their vision boards come to life? There’s only one way to find out.
Our faves get to the island first, Dame Susan Devoy gets a quick shoulder massage from Savali before falling to the ground while waiting for the boat of fans to dock. This all makes perfect sense.
Before they even get off the boat, the fans’ cracks begin to show as several members of the team jump off their yacht with no warning and land straight in a rip. They then proceed to drift away and their reality television deaths become imminent. Teamwork makes the dream work bay-bay.
Meanwhile, in a setting reminiscent of a 2019 Tinder date where your match doesn’t show up because they fell off a Lime scooter, the faves give up waiting on the fans and go back to camp.
Once the fans finally wash up, hosts Bree Tomasel and Jayden Daniels emerge to greet our castaways and show the fans just who they will be up against from seasons past. It’s Art Green, Devoy and Savali who cause the biggest stir, but fan Josh Oakley is ready to stir the pot a little more.
“Good to see you, Mum,” he bellows in Devoy’s direction from under the brim of a Lululemon cap.
His team are shaken at the bold revelation that Oakley and Devoy are mother and son and competing in rival teams. But fan Katy Middleton doesn’t notice and smiles into the abyss.
Until she does notice.
“What... what did you just say?” she screams. “Whhhhhhaaaaattttttt?” I’ll give you a minute, hun.
“Is he single?” asks Alex King, darting her eyes in Oakley’s direction. Let’s all stop for a minute and imagine Devoy as past rival King’s mother-in-law. Or worse yet, Mike King and Devoy bickering over who has the better rise on their pav at a family Christmas?
But before we can pick out wedding bands, we’re straight into the first challenge where we find out who knows the most about the show. The fans, or the faves who have been on the show before?
Podcaster Jane Yee takes the win for the fans team and Matty McLean for team faves. Their reward: deciding on the captaincy and thus who has immunity. Yee picks herself, citing her strong parental skills, and McLean also self-nominates. Your captains for team Vai and Beka are decided and Green may have put it best when he says “Matty is the cutest captain,” - a statement I imagine he also mutters at home.
Back at camp, Oakley declares that mum Devoy is there to help the fans out, “100 per cent she’s going to be like an asset,” he confidently declares. Yee isn’t so sure and Oakley honestly doesn’t care - a reoccurring theme for the season I’m sure.
Savali and Green quickly solidify their bromance, cracking open a coconut together and christening their newly penned “husking station”.
“Fingers crossed me and Art just go right to the end together and find the treasure together holding hands,” Savali says, clearly uncovering a quote from my diary in 2015.
The first face-off challenge is a puzzle and endurance challenge combined, with teams competing for omelette ingredients and coffee.
The fans team continue to fall apart with every team member choosing the role of the coxswain and absolutely nobody rowing this metaphorical boat. Over at the faves team, Dame Devoy is being told off by Daniels and replying to him only as his Shortland St character, “Curtis, you let the Dame get away with things.
“Only because I’m so much older, so you have a little respect for me. So you don’t yell at me,” she exclaims. Chris Hipkins, step aside, I’ve found our next Prime Minister.
While puzzle chaos ensues, Savali takes a moment to shout at Yee that he wants to form an alliance. The timing is not impeccable, but Yee falls victim to his bolshy charms, leaving herself very tempted.
But after an upside-down puzzle piece fiasco, team fans take out the first challenge and Kronfeld takes the blame for the error, with King pointing the finger. But wait, a later look back at the footage reveals it was newly minted shift blamer King, who approved the upside-down piece. Justice for Kronfeld.
The season’s first captains’ test begins with a Bunnings-themed challenge: assemble a flat-pack BBQ. The winner gets said BBQ and an RSA-style meat pack.
But instead of buying a raffle ticket, the captains instead get to buy a teammate. McLean chooses the poster boy for meat packs, Green to help and Yee picks Adam O’Brien to assist.
“It’s like Art’s son Milo was trying to assemble a flat pack,” laughs Savali at Green’s shape-based instructions. And he’s not wrong.
Yee takes the challenge and wins the prize, plus a mystery advantage. While the team might not have their dynamic together, they sure know how to capitalise on the faves’ mistakes.
What the fans team lacks in star power, it honestly makes up for in sheer enthusiasm and genuine laughs for the audience. Did anyone else get bored watching our 2022 celebrities sleep, make rice and hallucinate?
Our fans are here to give things a good old college try - they might fail, they might make us cringe a bit and they might burst into song, but it’s refreshing to watch people be weirdly excited about being there.
Dare I say it, Fans v Faves is even more riveting, and far more funny than seasons past and I suspect the drama, alliances and lies are only just getting started.
Much like Dame Devoy, I too am allergic to liars and this season looks like it might just break me out in hives.
Treasure Island Fans v Faves airs 7.30pm on TVNZ 2, Monday-Wednesday and on TVNZ+
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