After that mix, Bloom takes off on a hike while listening "to Nirvana and Stone Temple Pilots," before returning to his six-bedroom, twelve-bathroom mansion for his proper breakfast: porridge with "hazelnut milk, goji berries, vanilla paste", among other things. Describing himself as "90 per cent plant-based," Bloom says: "I sometimes look at a cow and think, that's the most beautiful thing ever."
As for lunch, he says he cooks occasionally but otherwise "there's a team of people" to handle all that.
Work-wise, Bloom explains he has a production deal with Amazon and has been spending his days looking for "roles for myself and others – for minorities and women. I'm trying to be a voice for everybody."
A practising Buddhist since he was 16, Bloom also spends some of his day chanting and reading "a bit of Buddhism and then I'll type it up and add it to my (Instagram) Stories:" Despite this, he says he resists using his phone: "I don't want to be sucked into the black hole of social media," Bloom explains.
He also makes time in his day to build Lego – "I dip in and out while I work" – and does an hour of heavy weights to "exhaust" himself.
It's all, as Bloom himself admits, "quite LA, really".
Unsurprisingly, the response has been merciless – probably a good thing Bloom avoids social media:
Let's file this one somewhere alongside Pete Evans' infamous 'Day on a Plate' column (two glasses of alkalinised water and a handful of activated almonds, anyone?) and the time Mark Wahlberg revealed the secret to his super-fit physique was 3.40am workouts and daily cryotherapy sessions.