One marriage, two movie reviews: Peter Rabbit 2

Peter Rabbit 2. Picture / Supplied

Greg and Zanna ruminate on rabbits and the thrill of the chase.

SCORES
Value of climactic chase scenes: 0
Value of climactic chase scenes: 5

SHE SAW

I'm sure parents soon to be staring down 384 hours of school holidays have little-to-no interest in mine or Greg's opinions of Peter Rabbit 2 but, for what it's worth, predictably, Greg hated it and I found it satisfactorily diverting.

There are a handful of things I'm looking for in a children's film:
1. Does it keep the children entertained, i.e. not asking me for things, for the duration? It succeeded with our 5- and 7-year-olds, the 4-year-old did some light cinema seat-based parkour and lap-hopping but, crucially, never asked to go home.
2. Is it tolerable for an adult - i.e. am I going to want to scoop my eyeballs out with the sharp edge of an icecream cone in the cinema? Well, the story is painfully meta: Bea is stuck in a development nightmare with the publishing company of her book who are trying to turn her sequel into a blockbuster hit with outrageous scenarios, which in turn play out in the film itself. While these kinds of self-referential narratives are included for adult enjoyment (they go well over the heads of the junior audience) they've become such a standard trope in family films, it felt hackneyed, not funny. Still, it had its pommy charms. I can't help but like James Corden who voices Peter - he has great comic timing. No eyeball scooping necessary.
3. Does it actively avoid harmful stereotypes i.e. am I going to spend the drive home trying to undo whatever outdated and/or offensive images of women and people of colour that have been absorbed into my children's vulnerable brains? It scores points for Bea (Rose Byrne) being the breadwinner and creative genius in her marriage however she is also practically the only woman in the film (not including the girl bunnies) which is an all too common problem: you have one empowered female character and then apparently you're done and don't need anymore. And while the publishing executive is a caricature of the money-hungry businessman, at least the film breaks type by having the omnipresent crusty old white guy played by David Oyelowo. Is that progress?

On to the opinions that matter: I asked our 4-year-old what he thought and he responded angrily "What Peter Rabbit 2?" When I reminded him we'd been to the movies and asked again he shouted "I don't know!" I turned to my daughters for a more sophisticated and hopefully less hostile opinion and they responded in stark contrast: "I loved it!" They said it was funny, they never got bored and Cottontail was their favourite character because she OD-ed on sugar, which was clearly aspirational content for them. Ergo two-thirds of the kids and one-half of the adults approve Peter Rabbit 2.

HE SAW

Midway through the movie, a villainous publishing executive tries to convince the character "Bea" who is writing a book about "Peter Rabbit" to include a climactic chase scene instead of her preferred quiet ending. His reasoning is that it would help make her lots of money. Bea recoils at the idea because her book is not that type of book, but then she starts leaning towards doing it, before eventually realising she shouldn't, thus redeeming herself in a triumphant moment of self-actualisation. That is all fine and morally uplifting, but what are we supposed to make of the fact it takes place in a movie that ends with a climactic chase scene?

This rankled. It struck me as symptomatic of a movie-industrial complex that believes us to be dumb, believes that in order to make money it must speak to us as if we are dumb, and believes children to be especially dumb. As someone with kids, I can understand that, but, regardless, don't we have a moral obligation to treat them with respect? This kind of dumbing down of entertainment makes me so angry. I asked Zanna if it made her angry, and she sort of shrugged, which made me more angry. "Why are you not angry?" I asked. She didn't seem to have a good answer, which made me angrier.

I went on about how Beatrix Potter would never have stood for this kind of crap, that her quiet and intelligent stories treated kids with respect and had no need for recourse to crass commercialism. I fumed, trying to figure out whether the film-makers were idiots or just thought we were. It was about a week later, when, in the course of researching this review, I realised the entirety of Potter's book of Peter Rabbit, which I have read to my own children many times, is of course a climactic chase scene.

Upon entry to the movie, the kids had been offered bags of carrots and yoghurt pouches, which they had eschewed in favour of oversized icecreams. When the movie ended, after two hours of them statically onboarding all that energy we reaped the whirlwhind, as they ran loose around the mall, yelling and causing mayhem. Casper was about to run on to the wrong escalator. I ran after him. For a second or two it looked like I might not get there in time, but then I did.

Peter Rabbit 2 is in cinemas now.