How to halt a polar bear and freeze to death
Polar bears are dangerous, aggressive predators that view humans as food. That's why, in Svalbard, a Norwegian archipelago, carrying a gun is not only allowed, but mandatory. It's why people in Churchill, Manitoba, Canada leave their car doors unlocked and have built a polar bear jail. There's something else that you can do: strip.
The New York Post reports: "Polar bears are very curious," Sarah Woodall, a tourism destination manager for Visit South Greenland observed. To that end, if you should come face-to-face with one, back away (slowly at first), while peeling off your clothes one item at a time. The bears are very curious so they should stop, sniff, and perhaps play with each item as they come across it, leaving you free to run somewhere across the Arctic buck naked.
"The little white baby becomes a small black child who grows into a dancing teen girl who matures into 1980's yuppie man. Women spring fully formed from the ether, merge with the 80's yuppie to form a small white baby. Got it."
1. Used to work with a guy named Wolfgang Hellfire.
2. Push Pesh Pant is the author of an Indian cookbook I own.
3. My wife worked with a lady named Promise Lanz.
4. Used to work in a flower shop. Had someone order online for a large vase to be delivered to a Susan Deathrage.
5. Evander Holyfield. It's a badass name. Sounds like a warrior prince in a historical or fantasy epic.
6. Chase Graves…best Goth name ever.
7. The actor Patrick Kilpatrick.
8. There's a Malaysian politician named Richard Riot.
9. Isabella Rossellini - not a pasta dish.
10. Dude applied for a job at work; his name was Johnny Blaze.
More on vanity plates
1. "The best plate I've seen is…PB ZEP."
2. "We've got EEQMC2 (E=MC2) on one of our matching company CX5s. I was at a conference and someone walked back to the carpark with me. He noticed our plate and said if we got another we should get FEQMA (Force = Mass x Acceleration). I pointed out the matching car with that plate parked opposite. I've also got DMN8RX but I had to stop using that one."