SPOILER ALERT: If you've not seen tonight's episode of The Bachelorette NZ and want to do so without knowing anything of the foibles of the blokes vying for the affections of bachelorettes Lesina Nakhid-Schuster and Lily McManus, do not even think about reading on.
Hey, can we steal you for a second? Because The Bachelorette NZ was back on our screens tonight. SINEAD CORCORAN recaps the action.
Good evening and welcome back to your nightly recap of what happened on The Bachelorette – it's crunch time people, we're so close to the finish line.
We kicked things off back at the rose ceremony where Lily gave her last rose to Richie and devastatingly sent Quinn home in a shock elimination.
"This hurts so much because there was a point in this competition I wouldn't have sent him home," explained Lily through tears.
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"But things with the other guys have progressed further and it wouldn't have been fair to take him further just on a whim."
Our beautiful sweet prince was obviously absolutely crushed at the decision.
"I'm obviously devastated and I wish you all the best, I just want you to be happy," he told her.
"I hope whoever you choose treats you right and it's a shame I'm not going to be that guy."
If you're reading this Quinn, dry those beautiful tears because the second we're all released from lockdown I assure you the entire female population will be fighting Hunger Games style to snap you up.
The next day Lily whisks Richie off to meet her parents in Wellington and they utterly grill him on The Big Questions, and rightly so.
"HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED?" asks Mrs McManus
"DO YOU HAVE KIDS?"
"HAVE YOU BEEN IN JAIL?"
Richie assured her that his answer is "D, none of the above," and her parents seemed to be satisfied that he's not an axe murderer.
Later that day Lily introduced Jesse to her parents, and apart from making an absolute trainwreck of a joke about them being old – the meet and greet seemed to go smoothly and they appeared to like him.
Meanwhile back in AK, it was Lesina's turn to introduce Aaron to her parents, and it simply could not have gone worse.
When her dad asks him about his heritage, he tells her entire family that if only he was Carribean like them he'd "probably be a better dancer," and Mrs Nakid Schuster was understandably not jazzed about his hugely problematic cultural stereotyping.
"Do you notice how mummy has very subtly not commented on the stereotyping of Caribbean people and dancing?" she said after about 30 minutes of stoney faced silence.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Aaron then proceeded to inform her family of his entire previous relationship history during which he felt he wasn't getting enough validation from his partner.
"What exactly were you needing from your ex girlfriend that you weren't getting?" asked Mrs Nakid Schuster.
"Um I guess the feeling of being wanted. I want to feel like the center of the universe and like I light their world up," mumbled Aaron.
"Well how did you know you didn't light her world up?" asked Mrs Nakid Schuster.
I think it's pretty safe to say where Lesina gets her police-worthy interrogation skills, that's for damn sure.
Later that day she took Logan to meet her parents, and it's also safe to say they far preferred him after he promised her mum he'd join her local band for a "jam sesh" and obviously avoided making any racist comments.
For her final "fantasy date" with Aaron she took him to see some romantic glow worms – during which he made the qualified doctor swap helmets with him because his was "too small for his big brain."
Things then took a sharp turn for the even worse when she confessed to him that she has serious reservations about the future of their relationship – so watch this space
During her final fantasy date with Logan he gifted her a pair of tacky but thoughtful pink rollerblades – but things turned into a living nightmare from there on out.
On arriving to their sexy Airbnb she told him that she's realised they have zero sexual chemistry and she doesn't think that's going to change so she SENT HIM HOME!
And before you go thinking that means Aaron's won by default, think again mates.
"These fantasy dates have cleared a lot up in my mind and I know what I need to do next," Lesina says ominously, before meeting Aaron on the beach for "a chat."
*Plays Jaws themesong*.
Tune in to The Bachelorette NZ again on Sunday night at 7.00pm, and in the meantime subscribe to the official Bachelorette podcast, Can I Steal You For A Second – hosted by yours truly and my wing-woman Anna Henvest. Plus, follow along with us on Instagram for all our behind the scenes vids.