Ahhhh the Willy Wonka movie. A true children's classic.
You've memorised the lyrics to every Oompa Loompa song. You were secretly terrified of that demonic boat scene. You spent all your pocket money on Wonka Bars for a month straight that time they hid five Golden Tickets around the nation, even though you knew you'd never win.
It's not without reason that it's become a cult classic — the movie was part of all of our childhoods.
But a new theory gaining ground across the internet threatens to blow your childhood into smithereens.
A crafty Tumblr blogger has suggested Violet Beauregarde — the gum-chewing girl — should have won the factory prize at the end, rather than old mate Charlie.
In case you haven't seen the movie in a decade, here's a quick catch-up: Violet is obsessed with chewing gum. She's the second of the five children to "fail" Wonka in the factory, chewing an experimental new flavour against the eclectic owner's warnings.
She swells into a large blueberry and has to be rolled out by the Oompa Loompas (in time to another one of those damn catchy songs).
The blogger argues that, despite this, Violet should have won for a number of reasons.
In a long, detailed post, they argue Violet was easily the most business-savvy and capable of running a factory ("Violet is competitive, determined, hard-working, and willing to take risks.
Her father is a small town car salesman and politician, so she could easily pick up knowledge and support from him"), had the best knowledge about different types of lollies ("When Wonka holds up a little yellow piece across the room, she recognises it immediately"), was the most sympathetic to the Oompa Loompas ("She critiques Veruca when Veruca demands to buy one") and was willing to put herself on the front line to try out the experimental gum — the same gum an uncaring Wonka was willing to make the Oompa Loompas try.
The other children's personality flaws are obvious and can't be contested — Augustus Gloop is greedy, Veruca Salt is spoiled, and Mike Teevee's television obsession gets the better of him.
But Violet's big flaw is simply the fact that she likes chewing gum — and the blogger reasons that this is exactly what Wonka technically would have wanted.
"The thing is, we already know that she can stop if she wants, because she already did that to win the golden ticket," the blogger writes. "And yeah, she is defensive about the perceived impoliteness of her hobby (like when her mother tries to shame her about her habit during a televised interview) but the obsession with candy and neglect of social norms is EXACTLY what Wonka is all about. This is on brand." Touche.
And what about Violet's grave error — chewing that special gum despite Wonka's protests?
"Her misstep in the factory is reasonable. Wonka shows everyone a candy he's very proud of. Violet is like 'Oh sick, that's gum, my special interest.' Wonka then pulls a 'WRONG! It's amazing gum!' In the very moments before she takes the gum Wonka has misled her just to belittle her.
"So when he's like 'I wouldn't do that' why should she give a sh*t what he has to say? She's not like Charlie over here who's all 'Sure Gramps, let's stay behind while the tour leaves and secretly drink this thing that has been explicitly stated to fill you with gas and is too powerful for safe consumption, oh and also I just saw what happened to Violet so I actually KNOW what this stuff can be capable of.'"
The blogger also notes that Violet isn't selfish about her experience; she vividly describes to the others what he's tasting and feeling, and everyone wants to hear the details.
All the other kids — including Charlie — pursue the factory's pleasures just for themselves; Charlie drinks the Fizzy Drink to satisfy his own curiosity; Veruca destroys the room while rambling about wanting a Golden Goose; Augustus contaminates the chocolate river while drinking from it; and Mike deliberately shrinks himself.
The thread has gone viral, with one screenshot of it getting over 50,000 retweets and almost 200,000 likes.
And most people seem to be on Team Violet in this case.
Others pointed out that the only reason Charlie won was because he was so... well... boring.
The moral of the story, kiddies? Never dare to be different or assertive. Your only hope of succeeding in the competitive business world of chocolate is, apparently, to be vanilla AF.
Team Violet Forever.