Awful Library books

How to Make Your Wife Your Mistress


Is your marriage dull and boring? Guys, is the wife a drag in the bedroom? Want to put more zing into your relationship? Ms Lois Bird has the answer: Treat her like she was your mistress. The author has more than 100 ways to make your wife think you are seduction on a stick. Highlights include: Replace her lingerie. Anything which isn't sexy, turn into cleaning rags, sharpen her kitchen knives, cover a wall or ceiling with mirrored tiles and buy a set of poster paints and have an evening of body painting. Follow with a leisurely shower together.

A selection of the 30 Most Disappointing Under 30-year-olds

Victor Chen, 28:


Chen used an app to hire a person to pick up and deliver a chipotle burrito to him every night for twenty-two consecutive nights.

Haley DiStefano, 28:

DiStefano is known for posting pictures of her eight-thousand-dollar Cartier bracelets on Instagram, accompanied by the hashtag #ManicureMonday.

David Saperstein, 26:

Shared an article about fatalities in Syria accompanied by the comment "So many feels".

(by Bess Kalb in

The New Yorker


Rural hospital rules.
Rural hospital rules.

Follow that computer

Joining a cruise from Valparaiso, Chile, February last year, Haze and Bob Jollands realised that the dock workers were on strike, which was causing mayhem.

Bob writes: "While I paid the taxi and my wife and the Princess Cruises worker unloaded our bags from the taxi and put them on a trolley for us, and the taxi took off. As we moved to join the queue, I realised that my computer bag was still in the boot of the taxi. So I jumped into another taxi and headed to the hotel we had come from, hoping since they ordered it, that they could identify the taxi that dropped us off. As the taxi driver drove at some speed through the winding congested streets, we saw the driver of our previous taxi just walking down the street, among the thousands of people walking the pavements in the city centre. Computer rescued. Cruise boarded on time."