Sideswipe: April 4: Earthworm jerky sure ain't turkey

You have heard of beef jerky but earthworm jerky? Hearing that this close to April 1 you could be forgiven for feeling all superior and picking it as a prank - like the study that concluded that seagulls aimed their defecation at people with brown hair ... but these "100 per cent edible dehydrated large earthworms in a "spicy marinade," are for realz. A verified purchaser reviewed their experience: "I love to try new and exotic foods. This, however, was so far below any expectations I had as to be laughable. For way too much money I got a plastic bag you would expect to see earrings in at a craft show. It tasted horrible, and it wasn't even chewy. It was so dry I had to pick it out of my back teeth and my throat. It was like eating a popcorn kernel flake."

Gone by lunchtime

What would make you walk off the job ...

1. "I am an auto mechanic. Was doing an alignment inspection and the car only needed minor adjustments. All components were tight and in good working order. When I brought the work order to the office the service adviser told me he was going to tell customer the car needed shocks and struts to be safe ... only worked there 2 hrs. Wasn't about to work at a shop where that was the norm."

2. "I was working at a beer warehouse that did its own recycling. Meaning I had to dump a bunch of empties into a giant can crusher. It was wet, it was dirty, it smelt awful, but the worst part was that people would often throw out used needles with their empties. We had 'protective gloves' to protect us but they were crap and only used to cover the company's ass in case something happened. I had a couple of near misses with needles but never actually got pricked. Until one day when it inevitable happened and I pricked myself pretty bad on a needle. It went straight through the gloves like it was nothing and was literally hanging in me. I told my manager and he said to get back to work and it wasn't a big deal. He even denied me taking the rest of the day off so I could get it checked out. So I told him to shove it and just left."

Roll over Beethoven

A reader from Greenhithe writes: "Was upstairs and could hear my son (23) and his mates having some sort of very involved conversation about life. Then one of them pipes up and says, 'Oh I get it, like when Mozart parted the red sea'... I folded up laughing ..."