KEY POINTS:
Perhaps, to pay us back for our long dry summer, the rain gods arrived this month and haven't left. They also brought a nagging cough to my doorstep, which, my poor suffering lungs have struggled to shake.
Cough, splutter, wheeze are the only audible sounds I seem to
be making today. That doesn't make for a very creative thought process. So, I decided to flag my usual schleb ramblings today in favour of bringing you the very best of Spy's Guess Who, Don't Sue list for the month of August. For legal reasons we can't bring you the answers, but go on, have a guess, you may just figure it out on your own.
Which respectable chief executive was, quite-out-of-character, Spy-ed booing Condoleezza Rice at the Langham Hotel? Condi and her contingent, mere feet away, attempted to ignore the commotion, but one less enlightened local came over to Mr CEO and tried to rough him up! We're not in Bush Texas-thug country now!
Who is barred from seeing a family member in prison? Her car was randomly searched by prison guards and missy was found to be in possession of drugs.
Which TV producers are sparring? They're dubbed "Veronica" and "Betty" behind their backs, and the Archie lookalike will have to take sides. Just quietly, everyone's money is on Betty.
Who has been busy juggling sexual favours with a property developer AND another big noter? No, not a threesome, just a very busy sex life. Neighbours are talking.
Which sportsman wears red lacy underwear to dinner on Friday nights at his local joint? It started as a dare, but it's turned into a desire. Go figure.
Which media madam's hubby has a penchant for "hot nights with hookers"?
Which blonde was physically removed from the Ponsonby Social Club after behaving atrociously and getting abusive? She's rung and apologised profusely and begged to regain entry. But that's not all. It seems the bottled blonde has also been getting into mischief of the sexual dalliance kind with two 21-year-old boys who are young enough to be her sons!
Which naughty publicist, who started an affair with a very married former sports star, is not the least bit repentant? Tut-tut.
Which leggy married blonde did Sir Bob Jones declare needed "a damn good spanking"?
Which bird of prey with talons that rip flesh, has swooped in to devour a pretty young prey in the nest for no apparent reason? But in an ironic twist of fate, the powers that be have interceded, and it seems the bird of prey - who has been known to put other beaks out of joint - has finally damaged her own beak for good.
Which celeb's true persona will become known through blog-gate?
Who came out of the closet while in the closet? Well, a small room, actually, but one baring a tell-all video camera. He also declared various past homosexual encounters but hoped his girlfriend wouldn't find out.
Which mother and two daughters got a deal for three sets of new boobs?
Which troublesome matron has graduated from voodoo dolls and death threats (not quite fatwas, but intimidating none the less) to her latest trick: shouldering people like a prop? It's hoped this does not escalate into spiked high heels into poor unsuspecting feet.
Which TV faces were busted in flagrante delicto going through a car wash?
Which celebrity who's quick to claim she's inundated with fabulous job offers, bizarrely manages to find the time to send lengthy narcissistic daily messages about - you guessed it - herself? Perhaps the job offers are a case of wishful thinking.
Which All Black met a young lovely at a Ponsonby bar, offered to buy her a drink, then made lewd suggestions about how she could pay him back? Ewww! Missy, who was prepared to buy her own drink, told the rugby star where he could go, only it should have been back to his WAG who's hanging in there.
Hip-hop superstar endorses All Blacks
He's number 14 on the Forbes list of hip-hop cash kings, earning an estimated fortune of US$20 million last year (above Ice Cube and Jermaine Dupri), but Lil Jon (pictured above at the gig), one of the world's most successful "hip-hopreneurs", was proud to endorse the All Blacks on stage at MTV's free Snow Jam gig at Canterbury's Terrace Downs resort last week.
Lil Jon headlined the event, which will be aired in more than 30 countries around the world with a global audience of hundreds of millions.
His decision to wear a branded All Blacks woollen hat on stage during his performance and later, a branded All Blacks scarf and shirt, is a huge ringing endorsement of the national rugby team. And the best thing - he did it of his own free will! His entourage told Spy when Lil Jon arrived at Christchurch airport and was presented with a Maori powhiri, he was so taken aback with the warm welcome into New Zealand, he wanted to absorb as much of our Kiwi culture as possible - hence the rugby reference.
Thanks to Snow Jam, the ABs will be world famous in the hip-hop world. The Atlanta-born rapper-slash-producer, who pioneered the music genre "crunk", is a significant player on the international music stage and an important influence on Generations X and Y.
His hold on the American hip-hop market, alongside Jay-Z, 50 Cent and P-Diddy, cannot be disputed and is vitally important to brands which are eager to leverage off his position in pop culture, music and business.
For the ABs, it's a free endorsement and, as brand experts will tell you, they don't come much better than that. Aside from making millions in music, Lil Jon has an energy drink aptly called Crunk!, his own line of Oakley sunglasses, a winery, and he co-hosts MTV's Pimp My Ride International. He is a long-time fan of the NHL's Atlanta Thrashers and writes his own blog on the NHL website.
The Guinness Book of Records listed his 73-carat "Crunk Aint Dead" medallion as the world's largest diamond pendant.
Trelise's empire to include perfume
She's done clothes, shoes, lingerie and littlies, now fashion designer Trelise Cooper, right, is set to launch her own perfume.
While others in the fashion industry are feeling the credit crunch, Cooper - whose husband Jack is in a law suit with his former business partner Paul Watkinson - told Spy she's set to launch her own perfume. How very Coco Chanel!
The fashion designer who has come back from Paris after visiting her son who is at school there, was hoping to have it ready in time for next month's Air New Zealand Fashion Week , but there's been a hold up with the production of the perfume in France. Cooper's crossing her fingers all will be sorted and the launch date will stay on track.
Miss G tea party
Kat Gee hosted a tea party launch her latest jewellery range last week.
Click here for photos by Norrie Montgomery.
Rachel Glucina
Pictured above: Lil Jon performs at MTV Snowjam, Terrace Downs, Canterbury. Photo / Jeremy Toth