Millie Elder: How I beat my P addiction

'I didn't care about anyone else but myself,' says Millie Elder. Photo / Janna Dixon

Paul Holmes' daughter, Millie Elder, has spoken of her long battle with P, her often-fractious relationship with the broadcaster - and being drug-free for more than two years.

In an exclusive Metro magazine interview, the 23-year-old admits she was "a bit of a shit", with little respect for her family, as she battled her $1000-a-day addiction.

But she is now drug-free, working at the Auckland Chamber of Commerce, studying by correspondence and talking again with her father after they famously fell out over her lifestyle and police arrests.

"Looking back, I cringe," Ms Elder told Metro. "I just think I was a bit of a shit, to be honest. I was emotionally dead inside. You don't have any respect for people when you're on drugs, you don't care about anyone else.

"As a parent, you need to understand you're not dealing with your child; you're dealing with your child on drugs, who doesn't give a shit.

"I didn't care about anyone else but myself."

She says she would not have won the battle with P without longtime boyfriend Connor Morris. They eventually became clean without professional help by living a hermit-like existence - eating, sleeping and watching TV - in their West Auckland flat.

After four years of a drug-addled lifestyle, the first three months were hell, Ms Elder told Metro. "It was horrible. Really horrible. You get really fat. I went from 55kg to 85kg."

She has worked at the Chamber of Commerce for the past 16 months - in export documentation - while studying by correspondence for a diploma in international trade from the New Zealand School of Export.

When she reunited with her father, she apologised to him and wife Deborah for all the items she took from their home.

Metro says a Versace vase, digital cameras, a laptop and wedding gifts all disappeared.

Holmes has yet to meet Connor Morris, but told the magazine that he would one day soon. "He loves my daughter and he looks after my daughter and she loves him."

The Metro interview also details how Ms Elder and Holmes reunited and the person credited for helping to redeem her.

- Staff reporter