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Home / Entertainment

Matt Heath: Fat Aussies and other great things to watch

Matt Heath
By Matt Heath
Newstalk ZB Afternoons host·NZ Herald·
22 Apr, 2018 05:00 PM4 mins to read

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Gold Coast theme parks and rides like The Claw are sure to get your heart racing during the school holidays.

Gold Coast theme parks and rides like The Claw are sure to get your heart racing during the school holidays.

Matt Heath
Opinion by Matt Heath
Newstalk ZB Afternoons host
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It's a great time to have eyes. If yours work, you should be stoked. Three weeks ago I started writing lists about positive things as reaction to all the hissy fit negativity in the media. Also because I'm on holiday on the Gold Coast with my kids and lists are easier to construct at the beach than proper columns.

Today I want to talk about some great things to look at. Westworld Season 2, the horror movie A Quiet Place and fat Australians at theme parks.

Westworld Season 1 ended well over a year ago. Season 2 is out today on Soho and Neon. Exciting. If you haven't seen the first series. I suggest blasting through the whole 10 episodes as quick as you can. If you did see it, I suggest watching one of the short YouTube recaps. I watched one this morning. Turns out as much as I loved the show I hadn't really understood what was going on.

For those of you who haven't heard of it. Westworld the HBO TV show is based on the 1973 film written and directed by Michael Crichton, the dude who wrote Jurassic Park. Westworld is a theme park gone wrong scenario too but with robots instead of dinosaurs.

There was also the 1976 theme park goes wrong film Futureworld featuring Spaworld, Medievalworld and Romanworld. Crichton was not involved in those. He also had nothing to do with Dreamworld or Movieworld on the Goldie.

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Westworld the series goes deeper than its predecessors. It's about the dark side of humanity and the relationship between artificial intelligence, memory, self interest and consciousness. It's also super violent and sexy.

Scene from the second season of Westworld.
Scene from the second season of Westworld.

The android hosts look and act like humans. So the humans do horrible depraved stuff to them because they can. Things they wouldn't get away with real humans in the real world. But what if the hosts should become aware of what was happening to them? To quote Shakespeare 'these violent delights have violent ends'. A phrase that is often whispered to host Delores who looks great in a pair of jodhpurs. Anyway Season 1 was so good. Bring on Season 2. Out today.

If you're in the mood for a real life artificial intelligence freak-out, you might want to watch the Elon Musk-approved documentary Do You Trust This Computer?. Musk appears as a talking head in the film and thought the message so important he paid for its free streaming. Turns out humanity has a terrifying amount of AI trouble coming and far from stopping it, we're welcoming it.

A Quiet Place is a horror co-written, directed and starring John Krasinski. You'll remember him as the cheeky young dude from The Office (US). Nowadays he's grown up, has a massive beard and plays an intense heroic dad. A dad trying to protect his family in a world where making a single noise will get you slaughtered in a second. It's the kind of movie you want to watch at the cinema before it's gone.

Speaking of noise. Considerate humans eat their popcorn during the loud parts of movies. There are long gaps between loud parts in A Quiet Place. As a result, in a life imitating art situation, I wanted to hack the guy sitting beside me to death. He was one of the loudest masticators on Earth. I heard every scoop, crunch and swallow. Maybe watch this one without treats.

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John Krasinski, left, and Noah Jupe in a scene from A Quiet Place.. Photo / AP
John Krasinski, left, and Noah Jupe in a scene from A Quiet Place.. Photo / AP

I've spent the last few days watching fat Australians swim. So many massive units bobbing up and down on the Goldie. It's been great. I respect a fat person who's happy to let it all hang out. To me content, near-naked fat people are more honest than desperately thin super bods. Spending hours pounding away on yourself focused on how you look to others can't be good for you. Being happy and fat is where it's at. It made me want to get fatter.

Anyway I was admiring this guy's cankles in line for Dreamworld. He noticed and asked if I wanted a ticket. Some of his family members hadn't turned up and he had spares. So my two sons and I had a great day in the now fully operational and awesome Dreamworld on the dime of a friendly super large Aussie. The Tower of Terror 2, The Claw and the Wedgie are great rides. Nothing went wrong.

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There's so much good stuff to see. If you get a chance treat yourself to Westworld, A Quiet Place or a fat Australian. You won't regret it.

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