Married At First Sight Australia episode 4 recap: Groom brutally criticises wife’s looks

Tim Gromie says he likes "petite, blonde" girls. Screenshot / Warner Bros Discovery

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

A successful marriage takes work, which is why one Married at First Sight Australia husband has decided to put none in.

In less than two days since their wedding Nice Guy Tim assumes the liberty to tell his wife Katie what he thinks of her looks as he sits on the couch in emo ripped jeans not seen since 2006.

My dude.

For Katie, it’s been the honeymoon from hell. During the wedding, her husband quickly wiped off her kiss. By the afternoon, her husband told her he didn’t feel a spark. Over dinner, her husband told her his preference is a “petite, blonde, short girl”.

After sleeping on that the couple awoke to a fresh start when Tim assured his wife that it’s not just her looks, it’s her personality too.

“It’s not just physical though. I normally probably go quieter woman.” The music paused for dramatic effect.

“And even funny,” he added, not looking at his wife.

The exchange went from cringe to excruciating.

“Should we strip off nude and run around the forest?” Katie joked.

“You do it and I’ll just put the blinds up,” Tim said in his slightly too small Oscar-the-Grouch-coloured beanie.

Note to self: Must go on an expedition to find out where Nice Guys get their audacity from.

Next, we meet Jake who describes himself as “quirky”, and who is getting married to Ashleigh, who said she’s looking for “quirky”. Nice work, experts.

Jake, pictured here waiting for the bride or the bridesmaid. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

Jake, like Tim, is a PE teacher. We hope that’s the only thing the pair have in common.

While waiting for his bride at the altar, Jake mistakes a bridesmaid in an orange gown walking down the aisle toward her seat for his bride.

“Stunning,” he said before being asked to turn back around by the marriage celebrant.

We see Rhi and Jeff getting married next.

That look from the marriage celebrant says it all. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

“I feel like I’m homesick for a place that I don’t know exists,” said Rhi in an ethereal voiceover.

Same, girl, same.

Shockingly - and definitely not in a scripted way - it turned out that Rhi and Jeff already know each other “well”.

And it’s the second couple on the show to have dated previously. Fans and producers hope like hell this does not mean a boring narrative for the season.

“Rhi used to see him,” one wedding guest whispered to another, who replied with the appropriate:

“Shut up.”

“They’ve slept together a few times,” one bloke squeaked.

Fast forward, Adrien and Awhina are having a romantic dinner on the beach on Denarau Island, Fiji.

Their chemistry is “palpable”, says the Mafs narrator. Until comes out the Honeymoon Box, containing questions which, according to expert John, “help expedite the process”.

What John meant is that it helps expedite the incoming train wreck and drama for bloody-thirsty fans.

The first question from the Honeymoon Box is related to Awhina’s son and feelings around family.

“How important is having a family to you?” it read.

Which compelled Adrien to say the worst thing he could.

“I don’t know if I could love my kids as much as your kid,” he declared as Awhina sat there with her mouth open, speechless.

Sis, run.

Varsha Anjali is a multimedia journalist at the Herald. Based in Auckland, she covers culture, travel, and more.