“There’s a lot more going on in my life now.
“The biggest thing undoubtedly is second record pressure. It’s triggered by stress, anxiety, and excitement. Basically, any strong emotion, you’re f***ed.
“There are times it has been really bad and I’ve wondered whether I can continue to do this with the stress, anxiety and Tourette’s. It all comes as a direct result of doing this job. Before, in my life, I was okay – it was never a thing. If I was a fishmonger, I’d have been fine.
“I’m not in control of it at all. There have been times in recent weeks on stage where it’s been really bad, but I have to just get on with it – as lots of people do with other things.”
Capaldi stressed that “this isn’t drugs” - something he’s been accused of in the past.
“People have asked me directly, ‘Are you on drugs, is it cocaine?’ and I saw a few tweets knocking around after shows with people saying ‘He’s on drugs’ – and that wasn’t the case.
“If you think I’m going to take drugs and then come out on stage in front of 15,000 and then try to do a show – I mean, obviously, I wait until afterwards. That’s a joke,” he quickly added.
While he enjoys the “privilege and luxury” that comes with his job, the star says “if it got to a point where my quality of life was drastically diminished, I’d just have to quit”.
The singer opened up about his condition last year, and has now revealed he was “trying to take it off my own shoulders” by talking about it.
“But actually it has been nice to see a response from other people who have it. I got an email from a woman whose son is seven. He’s really stressing out,” he shared.
“I had small things when I was younger. I’d close my eyes a lot, make wee noises, clench my fists. But it was that tour in 2020 when I started to notice it and struggle.”
Capaldi’s Netflix documentary, How I’m Feeling Now, hits screens this week and will share intimate details of his private life - from funny anecdotes about his family and childhood to admissions about the dark side of fame, as he sought to replicate the success of his first album, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent.
Capaldi said it feels “odd” to watch it back and admitted making the film triggered his impostor syndrome.
He added that for him, the biggest pressure of fame is that he could make a mistake in the public eye.
“I feel a wee bit terrified, all the time. So if I’m walking down the street and I notice somebody looking at me, suddenly I start doubting what I’ve just done or wishing I’d done something else, that sort of thing. It’s hyper self-awareness.
“I’m pretty good at self-analysis, but not quite as good at self-censorship. I’ve got away with it so far, but who knows.”
The pop star is coming back to New Zealand this July for the first time since 2020. He will play two shows, one at Auckland’s Spark Arena on Tuesday, July 18 and one at Wellington’s TSB Arena on Wednesday, July 19.
