When he bellows "Serenity now!" as a tool for relaxation on the orders of his doctor, there is not a teaspoon of Zen about it. Stiller was no one-trick ranter, either. He could find laughs in a soft tone, too, even benefiting from the juxtaposition. Listen to him repeat "You want a piece of me?" to Julia Louis-Dreyfus, making her break character, in one of the great outtakes in comedy history. His quiet intensity is what startles at first, setting up the roar.
Almost by accident, Frank Costanza was written as Italian, not Jewish. But those of us who are Jewish knew better. Or at least Jerry Stiller made sure we did. He was the Jewish heart of the show. Seinfeld was not explicit about its Jewishness, but it provided enough clues.
Stiller's greatest episode is probably the one where we learn from his mortified son, George, played by Jason Alexander, that he invented a holiday as an alternative to Christmas called Festivus. If there is a common outsider experience for Jewish kids, it is the peculiar alienation felt during the December holidays when they are stuck without Christmas trees and stockings. And while Festivus has entered the popular lexicon, there's a peculiar tone set by Stiller in the episode that sounded like so many Passover Seders. "The tradition of Festivus," he announced, "begins with the airing of grievances."
Like so many great Jewish comics, Stiller is a master at complaint. At Stiller's New York Friar's Club roast, Jeff Ross turned to him and said "His Hebrew name is Yech!"
There's a glorious tradition of Jewish comics' making fun of their parents and grandparents, particularly the generation that immigrated to the United States. Woody Allen, Elaine May and Larry David have all done it, turning these people into shouting caricatures, guilt givers and nabobs of neuroses. These jokes emerged from the perspective of young people like me, who saw something alien about these beloved family members. They had thick accents, old-world ideas and funny-sounding jobs. I had a grandfather who sold eggs (he looked more like Seinfeld's dad than like Frank Costanza). And yet, we also knew that these elders had it tougher than we did. They struggled in ways we didn't entirely understand. They had to hustle and scrap. They raised their voices because it was the only way to get heard. And also, well, they were a bit deaf.
All these elements were in Jerry Stiller's portrait. He was ridiculous but also proud, nervy and passionate about the dumbest things. His sparring with his wife, wonderfully played by Estelle Harris, with equal force and a much higher voice, were formidable fights but benign ones.
The anger of fathers can be scary. And sitcoms have a way of sanding off its edges in cheap ways. But Stiller has a comic rage that was consistently endearing: plucky, ineffectual with hints of warmth. That was critical. The younger people on the show didn't cower so much as roll their eyes at his temper. He made you laugh at the things that made our forefathers strange and even embarrassing, but also reminded us of why we love them.
Written by: Jason Zinoman
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