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Home / Entertainment

Hilary Barry’s hilariously brutal rejection of classmate’s proposal

Varsha Anjali
By Varsha Anjali
Multimedia Journalist·NZ Herald·
25 Oct, 2024 10:27 PM3 mins to read

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Hilary Barry does not mince her words, as shown when she was still at primary school. Photos / @hilarybarrynz, supplied

Hilary Barry does not mince her words, as shown when she was still at primary school. Photos / @hilarybarrynz, supplied

For many, it takes years to build the confidence to express their boundaries. Hilary Barry had it figured out when she was 8.

Earlier this week, the Seven Sharp co-host was spring cleaning when she found a savage letter she had written in 1978 to her classmate Roger, who had given her a ring as part of his marriage proposal. Barry was 8 years old.

She spoke to the Herald about the find and shared a childhood photo after posting about the incident on Facebook on Thursday, which may have helped track down Roger.

“I’ve been having a spring clean and came across this letter I wrote when I was 8,” the journalist wrote in the post.

Hilary Barry, age 5.
Hilary Barry, age 5.
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“It followed a marriage proposal from my Silverstream School classmate Roger. If anyone knows Roger maybe they could pass on my apologies for being so brutally frank. Thank you.”

Attached were photos of the letter, which said: “Thank-you for the lovely ring, I like it a lot BUT I donot [sic] love you I will not marry you because I am to [sic] young and I don’t want to!”

As if to prevent any confusion on Roger’s behalf, “donot” (do not) and “don’t” were underlined not once, but twice.

Another photo showed a page with the note: “P.S DO YOU WANT YOUR RING BACK!”

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Barry's savage note to Roger. Photo / @hilarybarrynz
Barry's savage note to Roger. Photo / @hilarybarrynz
Fair question. Photo / @hilarybarrynz
Fair question. Photo / @hilarybarrynz

Many comments on the social media post, which has racked up nearly 5000 reactions, found the letter hilarious but also had sympathy for “poor Roger”.

“Poor Roger, I hope he has managed to find his way in the world, how could you Hilary?” commented one user, adding several laughing emojis.

“This is hilarious and priceless. Glad you knew your boundaries so young,” commented another.

Barry, who is now 54, told the Herald the letter was not the final copy. “Apparently it was a draft, according to my Mum, who hid it away for a rainy day,” she said in an email.

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“That rainy day came on my wedding day when my dad produced the letter during his speech to point out that Mike’s proposal actually wasn’t the first I’d received.”

So where is Roger now? Was he able to mend his broken heart and find love? Did he want his ring back?

A class photo from Silverstream School, 1975. Roger is in the back now, fourth from the right.
A class photo from Silverstream School, 1975. Roger is in the back now, fourth from the right.

A comment on Barry’s Facebook post sheds some clues: “Hi Hilary, we remember the Byrne’s, who lived in Tiniroa Gr. Silverstream. Roger their son is now living in Queensland to the best of our knowledge! Can’t really help much more!” wrote Sheila Wilson.

But Barry said there hasn’t been any concrete news of him yet.

“There’s been no word from Roger so far and that’s fine. I just hope he found love and didn’t get hurt too much by my candour. Poor fella. And though I offered to give the ring back, I actually have no memory of whether I did or not.

“So Roger, if you read this and want a ring back I’m happy to go and get you another one.”

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